Tracks In The Dust

02 May 2012

Just Because You Should, Doesn’t Mean You Will

Just because you should, doesn’t mean you will.

Okay so this is the follow up to my previous post Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should.

I find myself in this situation very often. There is a list of things I should do. Many of them are things that would make me a better person, others are just things that I know would be nice to accomplish for what my dad used to say “the good of the order.” There are plenty of excuses as to reasons why I can’t (see my post The Scale of Accountability). There are many reasons that I just put things off. When I was young my dad also used to say that I was definitely a “pro-crastinator” on some things– as opposed to an amateur one I guess.

But besides putting things off or just finding excuses, I find that when I reflect on everything I have done at the end of each day, there are several things that got in the way. I let them I suppose, or I prioritized them way down the list when I shouldn’t. They get relegated to “tomorrow” stuff… or put on the weekend list. That’s just going to happen because there are only so many hours in the day left over after work and sleep and eating.

Something’s may just be simple things to do, but when piled up together they are like a bunch of pieces of a puzzle that look difficult to assemble. Some of those things need more time- more quality time, or more concentration than my brain-cells have to offer. Yet others may be things that are not that desirable to have to do in the first place, and then that too weighs on the decision to do them.

Sure there are chores, house repairs, detailed cleaning, running the errands of the day, paying bills, corresponding with emails and messages from friends and family, and so many other things that seem to “task” the lists. What easily gets pushed farther aside is the focus that I need to keep grounded in what is truly important… and that alone seems to get pushed around on the “to do” list.

At the end of it all- doing what is important to feed yourself spiritually should be at the top of the list. For me that would be spending time in the Word. It may be just meditating on the positive things that I should be sharing with the people around me. It may just be sitting down with my family and enjoying each other’s company, or with my wife and longtime partner in this journey…taking time to really know how her day went or what she is feeling today.

There I go then… things I should do… but don’t get to. Even examining the things that get in the way is an entry on my “to do” list. If you use Excel spreadsheets- I envision it to the error message for a “circular reference” – put on the to-do list to clear the to-do list.

I will get to it soon!

Nope. Maybe right now… how about you?

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Change, choices, Doubt, Family, Home, life is precious, Procrastination, Reality Check, Sprituality, Time management

30 Apr 2012

4 Comments

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s what my wife has been reflecting on often these past weeks, and it is something seems to apply to so many things in life.

Here in America, perhaps it goes along with being a country full of “consumers”. Mass consumption can get so extreme that creates the notion that getting more of everything that others have, getting the super-sized item or getting the most valuable item means contentment. It’s like the thought is: “after all, if we earned it we should deserve it”. Some see it as being able to do whatever you want and some others doing it in spite of what others want; often without considering any consequences. I have heard it said “If it is not illegal or immoral, just go ahead if you can afford it. “

Sadly it seems there are so many messages in the course of a day that just keep working on influencing our sensibilities. Upgrade your car, your home, your life… or make sure you are always happy. Don’t get left behind and be certain you have the newest! Whatever the message it feels like it is aimed at you to be sure you can measure your value in life somehow. Whether it’s on the media or from the people around you, it can appeal to your peace-of-mind, or the need to be recognized by others.

Sometimes it isn’t as serious as much as it is perhaps ironic. Out shopping at a local large discount store on the weekends, I see people who are wearing clothes that don’t flatter them, really don’t fit them or worse yet make them look like they are wearing someone else’s clothes. Seriously, just because they make those short-shorts in that green glowing color in their size does not mean they should be wearing them! Funny really- not that everyone shouldn’t have a positive body image, but there are times when it is worthy of a chuckle.

In other cases it is so much more subtle. Some divorced friends of mine in the past wrestled for legal custody of their children. It was obvious who would come out on the side of custody, but just because it could be done, didn’t mean it should. The children get the wrong end of the settlement, and the awarded parent just “could” and therefore did.

While yet so many other couples we know, just keep working themselves to death to help pay off their debit because they have bought so much on credit. Just because they could, they did- they bought things and went places- on credit. It made them happy temporarily and then over time, it pushed them into the brink of disaster in their personal lives and their relationship because they realized the things around them did nothing to validate who they really were wanting to be.

It can work that way in life I think. Just because you can own it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can take it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you always should. Consuming all you can devour for the sake of doing it… is more than simply self-centered road…it also affects others around you in so many ways.

There are so many better doors to go through, so many more roads to take. So many more reasons to take them… and most of those you can take just because they are there- if you choose to take them…because you can.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Doubt, Life, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Truth, Who Are You

27 Apr 2012

1 Comment

What Are Your Plans?

What are your plans? I mean is- what are you going to do tomorrow? OR the weekend? Or next week? Next month? Before the end of the year? Just what are you planning to do?

Sometimes it seems we have it all mapped out. Dinner out tomorrow, shopping on the weekend. Going to a movie, going out to the club. But then things happen. Work gets in the way, or just emotional baggage comes and swoops you up and makes the whole thing change.

The harder you plan it seems, the more things seem to change the course. Sometimes it seems others have plans for you. They influence the direction your going and make for an abrupt turn of events. There are times that is fun, just go with it and let it happen. Other times it feels like things are just spinning out of control and your plans are just not happening the way you envisioned.

Of course those can just be the plans in your near future, jotted down on your calendar on your smartphone, scribbled on the calendar on your desk. But those longer term plans – kind of fuzzy? Kind of indefinite? Things you wish you could do someday or something you have imagined will be in your future?

Accepting change is as difficult as accepting the plan. Finding the goals to get where you want to be can be difficult. Not worrying about that forever tomorrow, but at least putting one foot in front of another and head out toward that point in the distance. “Let tomorrow take care of itself” is a spiritual path we can all count on on our journey. But aiming for the future is also what hope depends on, it is the picture that keeps us moving. No GPS can get us there, no Google map that will put a pin on the point of destination. But it is your inner compass that you have to look at. Head out. Make plans… know that in the course of things it will change but make sure you have a vision.

Yes, you have to work on your plan. If you want things to go your way you have to focus on working the plan. You are in control of your future. But don’t forget that there are as many deviations as there are straight lines. Change can be good. The core of what you want though, is you and the things written on your heart and soul. So just go now… make tracks while we have our time here on Earth. But make them count on your journey. Plan on it. Plan on change. Don’t be afraid of the change of course, and with the view from your heart, don’t worry about the final outcome. Trust yourself to do what is right on the long and winding road to the end.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Bad Plans, cherish, Emotional baggage, Eternity, Future, God, Plan, Reality Check, tracks in the dust

26 Apr 2012

1 Comment

Relief and Recovery: Faith in Something Bigger

Just the other day someone asked me what I felt was my greatest accomplishment in life. I can tell you that I paused for a while and told them “it depends”. But in reality after some contemplation I believe the greatest accomplishment is that I have lived every day with something to live for. It takes little inspection to see so much pain and heartache around me. Of course there are always ways to make things better in our lives, and a lot of my past posts here were about ways i might be able to work on that, but there are too many ways that in the end it doesn’t happen.

It made me think of how things are all over the world, in places that most people in the USA wouldn’t be able to point to on a map- where there are people who struggle to survive to get clean drinking water or food that would just help them to get through another day. It is easy to see pictures or hear stories and feel inspired to make donations to help with relief. It makes us feel better about who we are, and being more fortunate we can help support others less fortunate. And they need it so badly there is never unwelcomed help.

But it seems that in fact most needs likely go beyond relief, it is about recovery that can build on that relief to help people recover physically and then even more important: spiritually. People may not realize the potential of lifelong spiritually if they are not able to fulfill their simple physical needs. But at that point we all need to have the sensibility to invest the time, to clear the way for others to make that to happen.

So not only for those in distant parts of the world, but for people who are around the corner or down the street from our homes. It is for many of us more fortunate souls that are able to accomplish the simplest things in life with confidence… we need to share it, to be partisans of faith and hope. Share the richness from the fundamental things we enjoy that need to be appreciated and shared. We need to be thankful and generous in sharing our relief and go on by providing recovery by being the messengers of the good news. It requires very little effort …just faith.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Faith, Grace, life is precious, Relief, Self-Awareness, Sprituality

24 Apr 2012

6 Comments

The Scale of Accountability

Before I understood what accountability was about, when I was younger, I just didn’t get it. I always thought there was a chance for things to change for the better in my life without me doing anything. Certainly I could help things along myself, but there were reasons (I thought) that things were in my way and if I waited long enough, “go with the flow”… it would just evolve on its own.

There were other times that I would just not accept that what was happening when things didn’t go the way I had planned it –it was someone else or something else to blame. There always seemed to be other people and things in the way and I would just have to make do with the way it was. It was easy to feel helpless, or trapped.

But it isn’t easy to be accountable. It requires a lot of work. And grace: forgiveness, understanding, kindness, compassion, patience, acceptance of change while nurturing a “center” for your view of life. Honesty with oneself is on the list of the hardest things to do..

After I understood the scale of accountability it became something that I could apply to so much in life.

If I was lacking spirituality I could wait for it to find me, or I could find it. If I had problems with someone or something, I figured out that it was up to me to not blame others or wait for things to change. I had to work to acknowledge the situation and make changes. It doesn’t mean there can’t be feelings about things, or opinions… but it is something yet again to learn to be accountable to owning those feelings and opinions beyond just the emotion of it.

So I wonder sometimes…when I see people around me angered and frustrated with the situations they are in- often they are explaining them away as though they are “circumstantial” or must be blamed on other things around them. I wonder what their life is like day-to-day. Are they feeling like a victim; acting like a victim? There are so many of them out there. They seem to be lost because they don’t have a “center” in their lives, but they aren’t looking for one either. Often they surround themselves with more people who feel the way they do. They are unsure why they are stuck in a place they don’t want to be, but that is “the way it is” they’ll say…

So I tell my kids to be accountable to themselves, to the life they choose and to God. Be aware, take action when they need to make a difference in what is happening. Things will change. Life will take on a new meaning.

The Scale of Accountability: Where do you stand?

Accountable