It is with great sadness that I must inform you that MGert123 passed away on July 1st.
Anticipation. We are all subject to that feeling of anticipation of what comes next in our lives, New family additions, weddings, vacations, promotions at work, a new course in our lives that will change so much of what we already knew.
It can be something special, or something you know is coming and only time will allow it to arrive. I remember in my youth those anxious moments of “going out” with only a night full of adventure ahead. where nothing would seem to get in your way. It would be great to kind of “box that up” and keep it to know that feeling again. I often recollect the phase about how ” youth is wasted on the young”. Not always true, but there were those times when the anticipation was golden.
Still that anxious heart lives in me and I embrace what I can to anticipate things in life even as they are ever-so-simple. It’s not a complicated thing, but it can be elusive when hopelessness and despair are so easily able to make their way into your life.
Even as I fight the fight of my life to beat cancer, I can reach back in my heart and find anticipation in what God will bring me and my family. My children are growing up and experiencing marriage, job promotions, starting new life directions, and getting the dark clouds pushed aware by the reality that they control their own future.
Anticipation of a new day. Anticipation of Eternity. Anticipation is what brings life one of its greatest joys.
I had to include this song. It was on my mind. Carly Simon.
We are all aware of the saying ” you can’t take it with you”. Over a lifetime [short or long as it may be], we can accumulate a lot of possessions. We can collect a lot of things that help to define who we are personally, along with the junk that really is meaningless in the scheme of things.
But these days more than ever, I realize that it’s not about what I own, and certainly what will happen to it when I’m no longer on this earth. It will fall into the path of history, perhaps be landfill, or someone else’s accumulated prize.
Can I worry about the things I have left behind? Perhaps because I don’t want it to burden my loved ones or anyone else. But spending days worrying about it would be worthless worry. So there you have it. Unless you are a hermit, or you purge yourself of everything you own. You’re going to leave things behind for someone else to deal with.
Rather than “things”, I think more about the people that will I will leave behind. They will continue to live their lives to the fullest, God willing. Our kids will continue to grow as adults, to manage through the very same human complications that made up my daily life.. My wife has been my genuine companion and the love of my life for over 35 years, and I have promised to love her always and forever. It is likely that there will come a day that I will not be there for her, yet our lives are from our mutual love and friendship.
Both my wife and I realize we are rich because of the friendships we have in our lives, those we have come to know recently, as well as those we have been fortunate to call friends over the decades, There are so many. And they are there today sending kind words and thoughts, and sharing in prayer.
There is hope for the future. And what left behind is a future of the legacy of the people in your life. It makes life meaningful. It is the paths crossed, the words said, the friendships and relationships that have changed the course of our lives. That is what means the most. The invested time with friends and family will be everyone’s legacy. It will be God’s legacy.
For that I’m grateful and not sad. I am optimistic about the future for me and for everyone else.It is that legacy is what gets all of us through life with meaning, isn’t it? The legacy and the richness of family, friendships and God’s promise of eternity. That will make what ever happens be okay.
It’s crazy to think that you really have control over that much. We are all trying to “stay” in control though aren’t we? In control of our family, or finances, our jobs, our own personal sanity sometimes.
So we work very hard at it. To be in control. We take it very seriously, It can mean recognition, financial gain, personal satisfaction. We would pay a lot to be in-control of some things in our lives. In other ways we “wish” we were in control…”if only we ran the government, we would show everyone how it is done!” Or “if that was my child he would know what it was to behave”.
Relish the thought that someone would claim we are “out of control”. That would be a claim that would imply we had no discipline, we were ignorant of how things are done. It would put us on some list that says we don’t care, or lack caution or consideration.
But in reality to me I see that there is little we are actually in control of in the bigger picture. We are going to pass from this earth when it is our time, and we can manage to extend it but in the end we are not in control of the outcome. We are going to have things that happen that regardless of what we do in our daily lives are going to happen anyway. We can spend a ton of energy trying to be in control of things and miss the simple fact that life will go on regardless just as God planned it.
So I am giving up that control to Him. To all things there are a purpose under heaven. I know that not everyone reading this may believe, but the reality of it all is the world turns regardless of your beliefs. Take a moment to understand that your purpose here is to live for the day, and that energy and stress for control can consume you. To those who have faith, let God worry about tomorrow.
I think we can all admit honestly that our true self, that self that is what is inside isn’t always what appears outside. We are certainly different in public than we are in private. Some more than others, “what you see is what you get” has degree’s of variations.
We all have degree’s of pain, suffering, sadness, in our lives. Moments ( or days) of uncertainty that can lead us down paths we may never have considered at some other time. That influences who we are, as does those times of happiness and joy, those moments to embrace what we have been given and be thankful, those times when love is so overwhelming in our lives that little else matters. They all make up the complex person our lifetime allows us to be.
The outside self many times seems to be insulated in hiding our emotions. We will mask our thoughts because we are unsure, or lack confidence to be truthful with others about who we are inside. There are times we don’t want to share because that may expose a part of our hearts or minds that would make us vulnerable or allow us to be cast aside or ignored.
In the end you can see it in people’s eyes. I see it when I am out in pubic, when I am at work. There are many people who speak confidently, but in their eyes they seem lost. Unable to determine what is really important in their lives, they are “in the moment” perhaps, but there are things missing. No spiritual center most likely, no introspective self. Maybe they just mask it so well, perhaps from years of practice.
So it can be refreshing sometimes. To meet those genuine people. You can just tell it, and they emit something that tells you that they are more than face-value. You can see it in their eyes. It is within them.
Not big on Beatles covers, but love this rendition by Patti Smith.
“We were talking about the space between us all,” Within You and Without You