June | 2013 | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the month “June, 2013”

27 Jun 2013

Letting Go

Let go!

There is a lot of comfort in “status-quo”. There are reasons that you like “the way things are”. Being firmly entrenched in the pattern you are in can sometimes feel good.

A lot of people thrive on change. In fact for me when things DON’T change it kind of makes me think that something might be wrong. I know that sounds like I am always waiting for the “other shoe” to drop… which is sort of sad I guess. But change is okay too, it has its ability to provide the kind of variety that keeps life interesting, and makes one be more aware of things along the way.

But for others I guess there is that comfort of keeping things the way they are.

As my kids got older I think my wife and struggled for a long time understanding that our children were looking outward on their lives and not focused on the “family” that made up our history. We realized we could not center everything on them, as we had in their younger days growing up. Not that they didn’t want to be part of our family, just that they were looking for the next-thing and needed to work it on their own. After all that is part of growing up, and although the flexibility to change is more difficult later in life due to so many of the anchors and roots we put on ourselves. There is likely always the “next-thing” around the corner – if we were looking for it.

But those others who are comfortable, they aren’t always looking for the next thing. The needs of the next thing may not be evident, and they may be frightening or mysterious. But that comfort can be constricting. The next-thing may very well come without warning.

A job goes away, health, finances, catastrophe, or just a change in the simple pattern of daily life can be devastating and make that comfortable life seem to slip away so quickly it leaves no time to pause. That alone can be constricting. It can stall out what will need to happen next, it can lead to depression and denial.

So it is important (I think) to get accustomed to “letting go” things and taking courses in life that could be risky or unfamiliar. Letting go can lead to changes that you don’t expect, that you can’t even imagine.

Letting go is hard. No promises, but lots of promising prospects. Is it time to let go of something?

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Behavior, Change, choices, denial, Depression, Doubt, Faith, Letting Go, Memories, mental-health, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Something New, The next thing, waiting for the other shoe to drop

26 Jun 2013

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Appreciating Acceptance

Since as early as pre-school it would seem that there is a desire for acceptance. A desire or perhaps a need to be part of the “group” that has some common goal, even if that is just to be the first on the playground or have the same favorite color or game.

Even more later in life I suppose, as we move into our adolescent years, there is a strong desire (maybe part of the hormones) to be accepted. Be part of a team or a clique, be accepted by the person(s) we romantically desire. Even for those anti-society “rebels without a cause” there is a reason to be accepted in a group.

There a likely hundreds upon thousands of academic books about this topic. I am sure that they all wrap things up into some human characteristic that is inherent in our DNA or something. Wonderful that so many pages can be written to draw up a conclusion about the whole thing of acceptance.

For us in the adult world – most of us are always in need of things like friendships, acceptance in our work spaces with our peers and the boss, relating to others on all sorts of levels on topics from crafts to politics.

There is one place that isn’t often part of that equation as it should be in my view: church. A place where all people are seeking acceptance, and looking for others that see that opportunity to be accepted as well. Just talking about the gathering of people- not the building, but the church as a collective of people who believe that the mission is to continue to extend the hope, spirit and faith. Surrounding yourself with people who have the same perspective can become refueling for the soul.

I think that the first step to positively appreciate your acceptance, is to recognize and accept the spiritual guidance that is inside of you, and accepting yourself first.

I tell my kids to focus on knowing what you need and why you think you need it. Learn to be yourself if you want to be accepted by others. If you don’t know who “you” are – how are you going to gain acceptance from others? how can you even to accept others?

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Affirmation, Be Yourself, Doubt, Emotion, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Religion and Spirituality, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, Who Am I?

24 Jun 2013

“Mad” or “Sad”?

I was in a grocery store over the weekend and I heard a lady exclaim to her husband how “really mad” she was about the fact that a cracker company had discontinued her preferred sized box.

I had to laugh a bit because I couldn’t think of a situation such as that where it would make me be “really” mad. I always thought that “mad” was reserved for horrific things that happened to people or circumstances that became unable to control or ultimately did not turn out the way we expected. Even then there is a fine line I think between mad and sad (or disappointed I suppose).

It seems like more and more people are “mad” at things that really stretch the idea of or being angry. There is room for anger in our lives; applied to those things that may some how stimulate us to a better life, to be more conscientious or be stronger for someone or some cause.

It seems the “madness” I see stems from something else. Perhaps the frustration of the moment or the feeling of helplessness. More than ever before, there seem to be a lot of people who are more angry over things that they cannot change. That is likely because in this “information age” of constant incoming data we are increasingly more exposed to things we can get mad at.

Maybe that is the idea of what someone means when they refer to the past as “simpler times”? Maybe because of ignorance (which I have heard is bliss) or maybe though intentional avoidance, some people just didn’t have to deal with being angry in those simpler times. As time has changed, and war, poverty, hate, disease and the like have come 24/7 into our lives, maybe we have become an angrier society?

Whatever the path, seems like something to be sad about. Perhaps mad; but likely sad…because the ability to turn off that 24/7 input has passed many people by. Unless we ourselves make a choice.

Be mad if you need to, but remember to be sad when you can. Either way you have to find a place where you can move on…. make a difference, change what’s happening, or focus on something else that you can effect. Getting “stuck” in mad is maddening enough.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Anger, Compassion, Emotion, Grace, Happiness, Hope, Joy, Kindness, mental-health, Sadness, Self-Awareness

21 Jun 2013

Searching for An Answer

Keep searching.

It seems like everyone gives up or says “I am done” at some point in their life… but it is important that you take that in stride. The old song that goes: “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again” doesn’t always feel like a welcome one.

But whether it is a search for a mate, a new job, a solution to a problem or profoundly the meaning of life, there has to be a point to it. Never giving up is so cliché. Still I think that is the basis of being human, having hope – even if despair is all around you.

But you have to look for it. I have posted before about people in my life that I have noticed who will wait for things to come to them. Sure it happens (some call it luck- others call it fate). God is good and He will provide, but you have to be looking for it. You cannot expect the things you need to search for to land in-front of you.

Ironically those few times that they do, if you weren’t looking they may just pass you by. You may not even recognize the opportunity (like my mom used to say) “even if it bit you in the nose.” Maybe that is because you weren’t looking, which gets right back to searching doesn’t it?

So I keep faith in the hope that the things we are willing to search for will come to us if we are open and receptive to them. (Like most everyone else, I have been at the dark-end of things in my life). If we understand that in order to search for those things, we have to remove the excuses and reasons not to. We have to get out of the cycle of denial or despair (or whatever you want to call it), and make something of the life we have.

‘Cuz life is short, and you may know that adage: The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. That is, not a philosophy to support the idea to party till you drop, but to recognize what you need to do in life; make the best of it- understand that eternity can be had in the next life- and go searching. Don’t stop. Open your eyes…

A great song by a band I have enjoyed for decades.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Advice, Faith, Hope, Inspirational, Meaning of life, moments, Procrastination, Reality Check, Searching for meaning, Secret of Life, Self-Awareness, spirituality, Sprituality

20 Jun 2013

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Summer Solstice

It’s that time of year where summer is “official” on the calendar.

Here in the US it is that time again to think seriously about summer. For many of us that happened back at the end of May when America celebrates Memorial Day. But for the science of it all, summer begins now.

It sill churns up all the great memories of what summer meant when I was a kid: hot summer days at the beach, baseball season starts to really take shape, get ready for Independence Day celebrations and barb-e-ques ahead, hop on the bike and ride to places to enjoy the out-of-doors (does anyone really call it that anymore?). There was kind of a feeling of anticipation of what the adventure of summer would bring.

Anticipation for the “lazy days“: Like my mom and dad planning a family vacation. Even the summer songs on the radio would be upbeat, softball leagues would be gathering at the neighborhood park, the dog-days of August were lurking in the post July heat ahead-. The world seemed brighter– may be because the days were longer and the nights seemed more available to extend the day’s activities.

As I have gotten older, some of that still remains. I think I worked hard to make sure my kids could feel those same remembrances, but now they are older now and creating their own. I asked my teenage daughter (who is days away from NOT being called a “teenager”) – where would you like to live as you continue your journey into adulthood? Her answer: “somewhere where there are seasons”. Her younger years were in the mid-west US, but these past many years we have lived in Texas where those season changes are so much harder to recognize.

Summer solstice is here. To everything there is a season. Time to capture this one and enjoy it.

Photo credit: artsboston.org