Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the category “Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life”

“Who Are You?”

Not to get all Freudian or something, but i constantly continue to meet  people who are struggling to understand themselves better. So I am bringing it up again.

Lightbulb

It seems that people may not be able to personally define who they are perhaps. They have a lot of friends, family and lovers (past and present), around them who are more than willing to tell them how they define them.

But the reality is:  if you could not ask the people around you…how would you define yourself?

Easy to put on different costumes and personalities to show to others, through different phases of a relationship with someone, different pieces of the “real you”  may not be immediately exposed.

Asking the question “Who do you believe you are?” without parroting back what others say you are is hard to do and seems to require inner inspection. Are you the same person inside as you appear to others?  So easy at first to say “yes”- but the last person you should lie to is yourself and it is easy to do ( at least I can say that personally in a truthful way).

So go ahead…ask yourself who you are. Be honest. Are you a singer, a lover of horses, a follower of sports? Labels.

Are you someone who thrives on interaction, or just likes interaction to validate who you are… letting that define the real you.

Deeper, who are you spiritually? Sure there are labels: a scientist, a teacher, a lover, a friend. That’s easy to do… just add it to your Facebook profile already… but who are you when the world and others don’t label you.

Worse yet, once you think you know who you are– try comparing that to how others see you.

Some of my closest friends have lost marriages, significant family relationships and friendships because they realized that they were  trying to become someone they weren’t ever going to be, or worse yet were trying desperately to fit into something someone else wanted them to be.  We always evolve from the foundation of who we are- but before you can really grow- you need to know what that foundation consists of.

I sound like a bunch of songs from the Who (queue “Who Are You” or “The Real Me“) or like the dozens of philosophers from my college classes.  Seems like we are always in need of introspection.

My advice to my kids:

In this busy world – with constant input coming from so many different places- with almost instant feedback [more than any other time before in history], we need to be sure our first definition of ourselves is ours.

Meaning

Meaning. A big word that means a lot.  People are looking for meaning in life, and wanting meaning in what they do.  I know it is important to me, and it seem to be that every one is seeking it.

Where is the Love

Maybe it is a meaning for the job? After getting paid, it would be nice to know that you are a contributor, that you make a difference in the job, that you get recognized for the work you have done.

Maybe it is understanding “why” – defining the  meaning to injustice in our lives and the world around us, the unfair things that happen to others, to you. Understanding why people are violently hurting each other, hating each other, making life miserable for others.

It could be the ultimate “meaning of life“- looking for the spiritual center. Are we really only on earth for such a short time only to have it all end? Is there something more? What are we supposed to do while we are here on earth? (that is a topic for another day, but it is clear then that eternity matters most).

People want meaning in their lives too. So many want to mean something to someone. To the ones they love, to their family and friends.  They want to be significant in their lives.

There is the gallant goal of doing something meaningful (good or bad) in life.  Showing mankind that you have something more to give can make for a lifelong task. Sometimes achieved, sometimes never reached. Not all the heavy stuff of Kant’s enlightenment or something. Just searching.

So in the end- what is that driving meaning in your life?  Can you reach for it? Is it elusive or in-reach? Are you always looking elsewhere and not right in front of you? It can be so simple I think, yet so difficult to find. It can be a daily driving force. A preoccupation that can consume us.  It can find us somewhere in a “hollow” place, It can be infinitely rewarding.

Here’s my take on it:   Look for it in the closest places. In your heart not your mind, in the eyes of others, in the places that provide peace in your life. Look for it in God, look for it in the air you breathe. Breathe in.  The meaning is there.

Triggering Memories

Memories are a good thing. You don’t want to dwell on them every minute of every day, but they signify who you are.

Music Notes

There was a time the other day when I was listening to some music on “shuffle” on my audio system while doing some work around the house. I love the shuffle idea actually, since I have so many songs on my hard drive. I just hit the play button and it shuffles around the 23,000 songs I have.

Some times it means I am having to fish for my remote and move it ahead when something just doesn’t mix right with my mood, but more often I am surprised at what it picks and even what I own.

But there were a couple of songs in a row that truly triggered memories I had long since tucked away. Not like I was trying to suppress them ( and I am sure some psychologist would say I was), but they were just far enough in the past that they hadn’t passed my mind. Those memories were rich with things that made my adolescence a composite memory of joy and wonder

Like I said, I don’t make a chore of sitting in front of old pictures ( not that I have very many from my teen years, since we didn’t have a phone/camera in our pocket those days). I don’t have much time these days to reflect on the past very often, and have come to cherish the present and what it can bring.

But there are those times, when a smell, or something someone says, or a TV program or movie, or some picture can jog memories that have long since been filed.  Some are melancholy and some are even more painfully sad, and others are rich with thoughts of time long since passed. It’s good to know they are still “in there” somewhere- in my head.

Do you have that happen to you? Maybe I am an exception, but I think I am not alone.

All Summer Long

There it is – almost “autumn” again. Fall. The time when as I remember in my youth was the beginning of school, the time when days get shorter and nights get colder.

Autumn is a pleasant time really, except that the rainy days start to show up and knock down the leaves. The wind kicks up and shakes the trees. In the days of old, its harvest time. Time to collect up provisions and get ready for winter.

But for most of us its been the turn of a calendar that brings summer to a close, takes on the idea that we are getting older but wiser.   In the US it means holidays ahead like Halloween ( is that really a holiday?) and Thanksgiving and Christmas. Time for family and friends – for remembrances.

Light a candle in the window, put a log on the fire. Pull out the sweater and warm socks. Its autumn.

But then again. Living in Texas (where I have been for 13 years)- it’s not one of those things seem so real at the moment. It’s between 90 and 100 every day. The rain is missing (we are in a stage 3 drought), the lakes are 18 feet too low. The trees are still green and air conditioners are humming in the neighborhood through the night air.   But that’s okay.  After all for those on the other hemisphere its the beginning of a new season that will bring the warmth.  I met someone the other day that has never seen snow (lived in Texas his entire life and never went far enough north into the US).

So we all have our image of “autumn” – the change of the seasons that mark time in our lives.

Loving the days of summer, Autumn arrives on schedule.

Songs About “Changes”

There are so many songs about changes. This song always reminded me ( along with Bowie’s Changes) that no matter what happens, everything changes except for change itself.Change

I know for me every time I get comfortable with the routine, cruising on “normal” – then something changes. And I feel silly thinking “why did that happen”?  Because in the reality of life, changes are good. Things have to change, and when it feels like it hasn’t you have to wonder. Seasons, time, a purpose to everything  (Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds).

So if you don’t know it now- “before long you will find out”.

What are songs in your life that signify changes?

It’s a matter of choices
And a matter of time
For you it’s a matter of drive

You will let nothing
Get in your way
You set to conquer
Each single day

Everything Changes
But change itself
You can take out
What you think you know put it
Back on the shelf

And would you believe me
If I’d spoke my mind?
‘Cause nobody gets there they just
Try, try, try

Everything Changes
But change itself
Like a bird you’d sooner fly away
But you’re stuck in yourself
As everything Changes….

We stay the same
But we stay the same
You keep turning
Before long you’re going to find out
What’s in a name

So you look for the answer
Then pull it apart
Tear it up ’til there’s nothing there
‘Cause it hurts your heart

Everything Changes
And for what you lack
You keep turning
Before long you’re going to find out
Everything Changes
It’s not hard to tell
Like a bird you’d sooner fly away

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