Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Advice”

15 Aug 2013

Conditions and Compromise

It’s interesting how often these days interaction with someone can always come to “certain conditions”. Doing favors or helping someone with something can end up as a negotiation of sorts. Sort of the payback for things that are done.

The idea of “unconditional” love and friendship is still alive I think, It is definitely a spiritual center we all need to achieve. It makes our lives less complicated in a way. It is the grace of God. Yet it seems like there are days where things only happen under certain terms.

There are a lot of conditions in life. Sort of like: “I can help you with your problem, but IF I do you need to help me with mine.” Negotiation isn’t always bad, but it will struggle to lead to longer term relationships

Conditional love is the hardest one to cope with. Like trying to earn someone’s love and attention, it comes with a price. It has a manipulating qualifier to it. I will love you, if only you would be more attentive to my needs. I will love you if only you make enough time for me to do what I want to do.

It goes on and on : I will love you if you a) lose weight b) gain status, c) dress a certain way, d) be friends with the people I am friends with, e) NOT be friends with the people you are friends with. f) like the colour “blue” – or hundreds upon hundreds of other conditions.

There is something about compromise in a relationship (which is healthy) that can spill over into conditions. When it does there may not be an immediate way to recognize it. But it exists. And over time it can lead to resentment, to disillusion that ends in someone being very hurt.

So I always give my kids that advice, Be sure to “be yourself” and be aware of the difference between compromises in a relationship and conditions.

Practice Unconditional Love (alexiaisaak.com)

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Advice, Conditional, Doubt, God, Grace, Perception, Philosophy, relationship, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, Unconditional Love

21 Jun 2013

Searching for An Answer

Keep searching.

It seems like everyone gives up or says “I am done” at some point in their life… but it is important that you take that in stride. The old song that goes: “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again” doesn’t always feel like a welcome one.

But whether it is a search for a mate, a new job, a solution to a problem or profoundly the meaning of life, there has to be a point to it. Never giving up is so cliché. Still I think that is the basis of being human, having hope – even if despair is all around you.

But you have to look for it. I have posted before about people in my life that I have noticed who will wait for things to come to them. Sure it happens (some call it luck- others call it fate). God is good and He will provide, but you have to be looking for it. You cannot expect the things you need to search for to land in-front of you.

Ironically those few times that they do, if you weren’t looking they may just pass you by. You may not even recognize the opportunity (like my mom used to say) “even if it bit you in the nose.” Maybe that is because you weren’t looking, which gets right back to searching doesn’t it?

So I keep faith in the hope that the things we are willing to search for will come to us if we are open and receptive to them. (Like most everyone else, I have been at the dark-end of things in my life). If we understand that in order to search for those things, we have to remove the excuses and reasons not to. We have to get out of the cycle of denial or despair (or whatever you want to call it), and make something of the life we have.

‘Cuz life is short, and you may know that adage: The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. That is, not a philosophy to support the idea to party till you drop, but to recognize what you need to do in life; make the best of it- understand that eternity can be had in the next life- and go searching. Don’t stop. Open your eyes…

A great song by a band I have enjoyed for decades.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Advice, Faith, Hope, Inspirational, Meaning of life, moments, Procrastination, Reality Check, Searching for meaning, Secret of Life, Self-Awareness, spirituality, Sprituality

07 Mar 2013

2 Comments

Getting Stuck and UnStuck

I am not sure sometimes how I get into particular situations. There are just those times when “poof” I am there. You ever have that feeling of extreme distress? You can’t believe how you got there. It’s likely that you were thinking of something else, maybe head in the clouds.

There are plenty of times where when you are feeling stuck, it seems insurmountable Panic may ensue, or that feeling that you are never going to get out of the situation you are in. Things get blue or bleak or bad (funny how many words can describe it).

Some of my friends will surround themselves with others who are feeling the same way, so they can feel better that they are not alone in their sinking feeling. Other friends of mine will disappear off the face of the earth it seems for long periods of time. Seems like plenty of people think they have the remedy to help them get out of those feelings of being stuck in the situation they’re in.

But getting un-stuck is a challenge that has to be faced eventually. For most of us there is a time when you just have to admit that there is a way out– a solution. You have to make a decision. It’s funny sometimes that someone can “wallow’ at the bottom of a situation for so long.

We can all break-free of things if we put our minds to it. We have the ability to change things, but there are times that we just don’t. We draw out the inevitable and then later – after we finally look back – we ask ourselves “what took so long?” There has to be someway to recognize that getting un-stuck is a choice we can all make if we want without wallowing in it. Without just standing still and wondering why things don’t change.

Advice to my kids when they feel stuck: Take action and make things change. Sometimes I have to hear my own advice. Then God will provide.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Advice, Change, Emotion, Fear, Feeling, Helplessness, Life, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Sadness, Slow Down, tracks in the dust

21 Feb 2013

4 Comments

A Sink Full of Ducks

There is something happens occasionally that leaves me stunned. It is like a feast or famine thing. There seems to be those times of abundance of luck and then other times when you just can’t buy a “clue”… even if you have the money to do it.

If you think about it. When things are tough you may decide to fight for it. You work hard to get through the barriers. Your maneuver your way through adversity or criticism. There is a risk you can fail which makes things all that more sensitive along the way. And if you fail, you can question if you did all you could or you can get up and try again, knowing better if there is a next time. If you do well you appreciate the victory all that much more. And if there isn’t a next time, the best you can do is move on with the rest of your life- but you have that choice.

It may be harder with situations with an abundance of good fortune or luck.

Once you reach a situation where you have the good fortune of abundance it feels good… It may even be what some people call luck. You may start to think you don’t deserve it, and something sort of whispers in your head to watch out for the fall. But you most often you accept the path – it feels good! But still there’s that lurking feeling that something may by-pass your good fortune. But it can be a downfall I guess ” like a sink full of ducks“.

Everything is cute and wonderful and you got a fuzzy bunch of downy little ducklings. It makes you smile and chuckle and be happy. Friends and family “love” your brood of fortune. Then it hits you. What are you going to do with a sink full of ducklings? They are going to become needy. They are going to grow up to be a bunch of large ducks. They are not going to live in the sink. Get over it. You gotta find a place for them and your good fortune is now a problem with a dozen ways to work it out. But you have to.

Obviously ducks aren’t the issue really here. It’s only an analogy. It seems that there are times really- when it is just wise to pay attention to your situation. When it is going well and there reasons to rejoice, enjoy it. Don’t play to your doubts. But recognize that you have something in your midst and you need to be aware… assess the possibilities, understand the pitfalls and be ready for the challenges ahead…. you know what I mean?

Hey- What would you do with a sink full of ducks?

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Advice, Change, Faith, Happiness, Luck, Opinion, Philosophy, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Sprituality, Truth, Who Are You

17 Feb 2013

2 Comments

Go Ahead Take The Leap

What are you waiting for? There has to be those times when you make “the leap”.

A leap of faith perhaps or just a leap from one place to another. Getting out the routine, moving to another place, taking a chance when you haven’t in the past.

There is that inner-voice that can tell you to wait…. something else will come along. But then when do you listen and when don’t you? Can you catch the meaning of it? Sure, it is easy to review all of life’s missed opportunities and regrets. Sigh… There are times that I know I wallow in them.

After all, standing still can feel comfortable. Its familiar. It allows you to maintain control. But really it could mean that you aren’t in control. That comfortable spot you are in could be controlling you. Keeping you from making the leap you need to make…embracing the change. It could be that you remember the failure or the hurt. You find yourself playing-back “old tapes” (as it used to be called before the digital age). Those old things can be like an anchor. You have to learn your lesson, you don’t want to repeat things that are destined to happen again. But you have to recognize your opportunity too.

So those times will come… it is important to recognize then – then it’s time to say “go ahead and take a leap”. Make a move and see where goes next. See what happens.

TAKE THE LEAP!