Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Joy”

What Other People Think Of You

I have always struggled thinking about with what other people thought of me. Acceptance was so often a guideposts for things I would do, for the plans I would make. There was a time when I turned a corner. Maybe  it was part of my Lutheran upbringing  or later on in life my cancer diagnosis, but I finally realised it had to change.

When you worry about what other people think, you let them control who you are. You waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want you to be. Maybe they want it selfishly, maybe innocently they want you reflect themselves on you?  You don’t even realise it – but all of a sudden you find yourself wasting a lot of time and energy trying to become like something you believe people want you to be, rather than just being what God made you to be.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because it leaves us extra sensitive to criticism. It means we may not do the right thing for ourselves but instead, we do the things that other people want us to do. And what everybody wants to do is often the opposite of the compass inside of us. Then when we feel that friction we are even more irritated with our life around us.

  • You cannot please everybody. There are so many opinions about so many things today, no one is going to always be pleased with you. People pray for things – some for one thing, some for another. Only a fool would try to do what even God can’t do. You can’t please everybody.
  • You don’t have to please everybody. So many people try to believe that in order to be happy you must be loved and gain approval by every one else. You know that deep in your heart you don’t have to, but somehow there is always that chance that it seeps back in.
  • Rejection will not ruin your life. It can be painful, you may even remember it and feel its imprint on you later. But it is not the end of things. In fact later it may look like the beginning of something else.

So I quit trying to please everybody years ago. It became obvious that no one can make me feel inferior unless I let them… It starts by beginning to understand that  it can be your choice. 

Our Emotional Life

Emotion is such a human thing, isn’t it?  We thrive on it and need it to be able to exist. The emotional range of life provides us the very highest of happiness to the depths of sadness, from grief to elation, from the top of achievement and all that goes with it, to the bottom of disappointment in failure.

All of these are part of being human, of living our lives however long they may be. But for some of us we try so hard to put emotions away – bury them so that they cannot get out where others may see them. Yet for others, these emotions trap us in a place where then we can often get caught. It is then we get stuck for what seems endless days, weeks perhaps even years where no escape appears. Perhaps we cannot see the escape, or maybe we just aren’t looking for it.  Sure, and there are those who are forever on that “high” as well, blindly flying along with the need to drive to the pinnacle every day. Taking in everything and everyone around them like a vacuum, and not stopping to see what falls along the wayside as the go.

Emotion is human, and it has a lot to do with our progress in life. It drives the very reasons that we persevere, it kindles the very fires that keep us burning for more. It is the center of love, it is the root of hate. It fuels happiness and fear. We fight it, we resist its change, and yet we cherish it and love its diversity.  We let it control us and we sometimes let it make us do things we know in our heart are not right, but also let us guide us toward the power of the Spirit by loving everything and everyone around us.

How do you handle it? Are you on the rollercoaster and it goes up and down, or the carousel that goes endlessly around? When you sense it is changing, do you find yourself fighting it? How do you understand when it has clouded your heart? Do you smother your emotions or let them breathe?  I guess the first thing to do seems to be to recognise they are there for us because we need them. It may be good to be passionately involved with your emotions. Don’t be angry that they exist, but be sure you have the opportunity to experience them without forever trapping your at the extremes. How would you recognise the difference otherwise.

To ignore, repress, or dismiss our feelings is to fail to listen to the stirrings of the Spirit within our emotional life.” Brennan Manning

The Seasons and The Hot Summer Day

When I was growing up in the northern mid-west of the US, we always looked forward to the seasons. Each one of them brought a change in attitude, and every season signified something special in some way. I recall as a child I thinking  of summer to be those warm days where some days were really hot and the bright sun that you would feel on your skin would be the fuel for a days worth of playing, like sunshine was energy. There would be humid days where everyone would comment “it’s not the heat that’s bad, it’s the humidity”. That too would pass as one of those huge storms would conger up the bursts of thunder and lighting, but also bring the breath of fresh air after the storms. Refreshing you like magic, with cool air the likes of something you hadn’t sucked into your lungs in some time.

Then there was fall. Autumn. Colors of the trees, the crisp night air and the smell of burning leaves. Some days would be wet and the trees and leaves would smell musty. There would be that day when it would rain a cold rain, a hard rain that would put shivers down your neck if you were out in it. By the next day all the leaves would be almost all gone, and the sky would turn a defiantly grey tone letting everyone know winter was knocking.

Oh those winters. In northern states, they could be brutal. Cold on top of cold, ice coated with ice. Cars not starting, cold winds shuddering the outside walls of my home. There would be days where it was so cold a deep breath would hurt and you would know it was time to get from one place to another and not stand out in it. There would be snow, but on those cold days it would crunch like styrofoam under your boots. Almost squeaking with the reminder that you better walk briskly but be mindful of the ice patches underneath. THere were even those lovely “snow days” where schools would be closed, work places too. The snow was so high and thick you weren’t going anywhere and everyone else was in the same place as you. Watching out the window for a break so you could start to shovel out.. peaceful, but cautious we would enjoy the day that nature provided a break.

Spring would start the cycle again. the newness of the grass before the first cut. The trees not exactly full of leaves, but running sap and getting ready for the warm days ahead. Fresh spring rains. Life showing up again in the backyard. Squirrels, birds and bugs. All the time knowing summer was on the other side of all of those spring showers.

So I do miss the seasons. Living in Northern Texas now, it seems like the Texas summers are like those cold winter days in the north. I escape in doors from the heat (104 degrees Fahrenheit today) that will hang around for weeks (maybe months). But I know that in the fall we can lounge in the yard, take long walks in the park. In the winter we can put on a light jacket and say “my how cold it is today” when freezing temps aren’t even in the forecast.  All the while others in the north, they will be getting ready for their cold days and icy challenges, pulling out the boots and heavy coats. 

 I can handle the southern heat knowing that is coming. But there are days when I truly miss the changing seasons. This hot summer day is one of them.

Hit the Reset Button!

 

Go ahead. Push the reset button. It may be hard to find, your own personal reset may be in a complicated place in your mind. It may be in a complex set of your own personal wiring that will be hard to find. But go ahead. Do it.

A while back my wife and I spent some time with some friends in this cabin in Oklahoma (pictured here) and just kind of stopped the pattern we had all been following for so many months before. Like taking a deep breath and exhaling back out, just some times you have to stop. It was so needed we didn’t even recognise it until we were there.

 Sit back in that quiet cabin in the woods, or take a bit of time to stroll through the park, or sit on the steps outside of where you live. Watch the world go by, because it doesn’t stop just because you did. But you have to be good with it anyway. You aren’t really missing anything that can’t wait for you to hit that “reset” button.

Just like when your computer gets so bogged down, or your wireless network stops transmitting the way you expect. You can hit the button and hope for the best. Let it all out. I know that we can, but then I know that often I wont. Keep insisting that I’d better plow forward with the “to do” list, to get those things done that have made me the “pro”-crastinator ( not an amateur believe me).  Oh that reward of a feeling of accomplishment… feels good.  So in this case, the accomplishment: Hit the button. Reset. It will still all be there to sort out. But maybe it will be much clearer than it was before…

Where ever it is, however you get there. Just take that time to make it yours and make sure that you clear the cache memory (for you geeks out there – you’ll get it). Then you can move on… it’s your time.

 

The Secret of Life

i have told my children, I have told my friends. There is nothing difficult about the secret of life. It is simply enjoying the passage of time. It isn’t difficult. Don’t spend so many hours,days, weeks, months or years searching for it. It may pass you by. You may miss it, you may spend your entire life looking for it. But you only have so much time, and it is time that is what you should cherish. You are able to make it work if you try. It isn’t even hard, although we may always be working so hard to look for it.

It can consume you, as you search. It can mean that you can toss away a day so easily and wonder where it went. It can mean that you have nothing to show for it as you search, and then if you ever do find it – you will ask “what took you so long?” So sit back and look at what has made your life be what it is today, and you may realise that you have it right in front of you. You make it what it is every single day. Thank God for it and enjoy it because the secret of life is simply enjoying the passage of time.

The Secret of Life by James Taylor

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
Any fool can do it
There ain’t nothing to it
Nobody knows how we got to
The top of the hill
But since we’re on our way down
We might as well enjoy the ride

The secret of love is in opening up your heart
It’s okay to feel afraid
But don’t let that stand in your way
’cause anyone knows that love is the only road
And since we’re only here for a while
Might as well show some style
Give us a smile
 
Isn’t it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Now the thing about time is that time
Isn’t really real
It’s just your point of view
How does it feel for you
Einstein said he could never understand it all
Planets spinning through space
The smile upon your face
Welcome to the human race

Some kind of lovely ride
I’ll be sliding down
I’ll be gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Isn’t it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Now the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time

Post Navigation