Tracks In The Dust

Negotiating With Yourself

Unbelievable as it seems I am my best negotiator. But even more incredible is that most of the time I am negotiating with myself.  I find that I often work hard to win, but as ironic as it may be- sometimes I lose. How can I lose when I am negotiating with myself? Easy.

Wrestling with the things that I know I should work  to do better in my life can sometimes take a long time. I can even declare a “win” on one day and find it was actually anything but a win. Yet there I am – the master negotiator in what direction I could take, what would make the best sense, how it would compare with other things I have done in the past. Sometimes it seems like new horizons are almost easier to decide because there are many unknowns… can’t talk myself out of things if I really don’t have a confident argument to the contrary.  Yet many of the easiest things to decide still have their struggles: diets, paying attention to your health, saving for the  future, learning more about the things that puzzle you in life. They are all about focus on devoting the effort, but still they involve constant debate with your life’s daily course.

So each day I grab onto reasons why I can or can’t do something. Sometimes it results in stalling out on doing anything. ( Okay Freudian fans, I know the view). Being human means that making mistakes are just part of the natural progression of things, but yet the tendency is to not be public about it, or put others in harm’s way, or do something so wrong that it is against the very grain of your soul and spirit.  “Analysis paralysis” others will call it.  Better to not do anything, not change anything because of the consequences. Don’t want to upset the rhythm of things. 

For me, when I finally negotiate the time, and make the argument with myself that will stick ( maybe even share it with my loved ones to see what they say)- then I proudly go forward. I make the “move”.  It’s then I realize that some of the most impulsive things I have done in my life were equally as successful steps along the path. Trusting in yourself has rewards- centered on the positive, on your heart, on the spirit of the Word, on the course that will be forever history in your lifetime once you’ve charted it.

There are often many steps that will require negotiation and course correction. It’s just taking them in the first place. How well do you negotiate your course in life? Do you trust your inner negotiator to win? Do you use your inner compass along the way to make the corrections as you travel this time on Earth?