Before and After Things Change | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the category “Before and After Things Change”

15 Jun 2012

Hit the Reset Button!

Go ahead. Push the reset button. It may be hard to find, your own personal reset may be in a complicated place in your mind. It may be in a complex set of your own personal wiring that will be hard to find. But go ahead. Do it.

A while back my wife and I spent some time with some friends in this cabin in Oklahoma (pictured here) and just kind of stopped the pattern we had all been following for so many months before. Like taking a deep breath and exhaling back out, just some times you have to stop. It was so needed we didn’t even recognise it until we were there.

Sit back in that quiet cabin in the woods, or take a bit of time to stroll through the park, or sit on the steps outside of where you live. Watch the world go by, because it doesn’t stop just because you did. But you have to be good with it anyway. You aren’t really missing anything that can’t wait for you to hit that “reset” button.

Just like when your computer gets so bogged down, or your wireless network stops transmitting the way you expect. You can hit the button and hope for the best. Let it all out. I know that we can, but then I know that often I wont. Keep insisting that I’d better plow forward with the “to do” list, to get those things done that have made me the “pro”-crastinator ( not an amateur believe me). Oh that reward of a feeling of accomplishment… feels good. So in this case, the accomplishment: Hit the button. Reset. It will still all be there to sort out. But maybe it will be much clearer than it was before…

Where ever it is, however you get there. Just take that time to make it yours and make sure that you clear the cache memory (for you geeks out there – you’ll get it). Then you can move on… it’s your time.

14 Jun 2012

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Contentment

Truth is, the grass is never greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. Being content is a reward in itself, and worthy of pursuit.

And godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).

So many times it appears that there is so much pain in our search for richness in our lives, that for many of my friends and family we tend to forget the simple reward… that is contentment itself. Like a wise friend of mine, a man of God recently recalled the old adage that the grass is never greener on the other side, it is greener where you nurture [water] it.

Some times it makes me sad to see how hard people are working for that contentment. Doesn’t it seem to you that many people are working so hard to define it and pursue it that they don’t realize it is right in front of them? So often we are making plans for the next thing that will get us to the goals we seek, that we don’t stop to see the simplicity of what is right in our path.

We can help others through kindness and compassion,endurance, love and gentleness as so many of my fellow bloggers have said in so many great ways. We can make the world around us a place we want to be. But not through anger and resentment, but through faith in ourselves. But we have to nurture that, we have work to do on making our “grass” on our side of living be green.

And that takes more than just wishing it so, it takes acceptance and peace of mind that by living it – it will come to us. That is the faith in which we need to fight for. Take hold of the eternal life we all can have. It is simple and not complicated, yet we run the other way in pursuit of something that may give us satisfaction, or instant gratification. Like if we grab that golden ring, wow… life will be so much different.

But the reality of life is that it is tough, it isn’t simple in its own daily turn of the clock. It contains the frustration or sadness of death, failures, illness, hate and fear among so many things. The reality won’t change, but you can. Accept that the grass can be green where you stand, with the water you provide to make it grow.

I recall fondly the old movie “Field of Dreams” where a farmer constructs a full baseball field in the middle of his farm in Iowa for what appears to be no reason. “If you build it they will come” the voice whispers. In fact they will come…just grow your faith in what is there in front of you, because others will see it. They will see that your grass is greener and join you for the celebration. The celebration of contentment and the richness of those who will be there with you in this otherwise complicated life while we are here on Earth.

Posted in Before and After Things Change, Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Faith, Field of Dreams, Grace, Reality Check, Religion and Spirituality, Sprituality, tracks in the dust

30 Apr 2012

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s what my wife has been reflecting on often these past weeks, and it is something seems to apply to so many things in life.

Here in America, perhaps it goes along with being a country full of “consumers”. Mass consumption can get so extreme that creates the notion that getting more of everything that others have, getting the super-sized item or getting the most valuable item means contentment. It’s like the thought is: “after all, if we earned it we should deserve it”. Some see it as being able to do whatever you want and some others doing it in spite of what others want; often without considering any consequences. I have heard it said “If it is not illegal or immoral, just go ahead if you can afford it. “

Sadly it seems there are so many messages in the course of a day that just keep working on influencing our sensibilities. Upgrade your car, your home, your life… or make sure you are always happy. Don’t get left behind and be certain you have the newest! Whatever the message it feels like it is aimed at you to be sure you can measure your value in life somehow. Whether it’s on the media or from the people around you, it can appeal to your peace-of-mind, or the need to be recognized by others.

Sometimes it isn’t as serious as much as it is perhaps ironic. Out shopping at a local large discount store on the weekends, I see people who are wearing clothes that don’t flatter them, really don’t fit them or worse yet make them look like they are wearing someone else’s clothes. Seriously, just because they make those short-shorts in that green glowing color in their size does not mean they should be wearing them! Funny really- not that everyone shouldn’t have a positive body image, but there are times when it is worthy of a chuckle.

In other cases it is so much more subtle. Some divorced friends of mine in the past wrestled for legal custody of their children. It was obvious who would come out on the side of custody, but just because it could be done, didn’t mean it should. The children get the wrong end of the settlement, and the awarded parent just “could” and therefore did.

While yet so many other couples we know, just keep working themselves to death to help pay off their debit because they have bought so much on credit. Just because they could, they did- they bought things and went places- on credit. It made them happy temporarily and then over time, it pushed them into the brink of disaster in their personal lives and their relationship because they realized the things around them did nothing to validate who they really were wanting to be.

It can work that way in life I think. Just because you can own it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can take it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you always should. Consuming all you can devour for the sake of doing it… is more than simply self-centered road…it also affects others around you in so many ways.

There are so many better doors to go through, so many more roads to take. So many more reasons to take them… and most of those you can take just because they are there- if you choose to take them…because you can.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Doubt, Life, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Truth, Who Are You

24 Apr 2012

6 Comments

The Scale of Accountability

Before I understood what accountability was about, when I was younger, I just didn’t get it. I always thought there was a chance for things to change for the better in my life without me doing anything. Certainly I could help things along myself, but there were reasons (I thought) that things were in my way and if I waited long enough, “go with the flow”… it would just evolve on its own.

There were other times that I would just not accept that what was happening when things didn’t go the way I had planned it –it was someone else or something else to blame. There always seemed to be other people and things in the way and I would just have to make do with the way it was. It was easy to feel helpless, or trapped.

But it isn’t easy to be accountable. It requires a lot of work. And grace: forgiveness, understanding, kindness, compassion, patience, acceptance of change while nurturing a “center” for your view of life. Honesty with oneself is on the list of the hardest things to do..

After I understood the scale of accountability it became something that I could apply to so much in life.

If I was lacking spirituality I could wait for it to find me, or I could find it. If I had problems with someone or something, I figured out that it was up to me to not blame others or wait for things to change. I had to work to acknowledge the situation and make changes. It doesn’t mean there can’t be feelings about things, or opinions… but it is something yet again to learn to be accountable to owning those feelings and opinions beyond just the emotion of it.

So I wonder sometimes…when I see people around me angered and frustrated with the situations they are in- often they are explaining them away as though they are “circumstantial” or must be blamed on other things around them. I wonder what their life is like day-to-day. Are they feeling like a victim; acting like a victim? There are so many of them out there. They seem to be lost because they don’t have a “center” in their lives, but they aren’t looking for one either. Often they surround themselves with more people who feel the way they do. They are unsure why they are stuck in a place they don’t want to be, but that is “the way it is” they’ll say…

So I tell my kids to be accountable to themselves, to the life they choose and to God. Be aware, take action when they need to make a difference in what is happening. Things will change. Life will take on a new meaning.

The Scale of Accountability: Where do you stand?

Accountable

Make It Happen – DO IT
Find Solutions – SOLVE IT
Own Responsibility – OWN IT
Acknowledge Situation – SEE IT

A Victim

Wait and Hope It Gets Better
Excuses-Reasons “I can’t”
Blaming Others
Unaware-Unconscious-Ignore

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Accountability, Blame, choices, Grace, Moral responsibility, Reality Check, Sprituality, Understanding, Victim blaming

03 Apr 2012

7 Comments

…You Might Find You Get What You Need

With the demands that life brings, sometimes it seems we are all making demands back on it. Our needs are simple right? But somehow even in simplicity – there are so many find ways for us to complicate things. Statements like “if only I had just this one thing happen then everything would be better” or ” there are so many things going wrong- just this one time let it be right”.

On occasion we may seem to lend our hope to everyone else, we create circumstances that optimistically will create the outcomes we believe we want. And when it doesn’t work that way, we wonder “what went wrong”? The answer we are sometimes told is to “not ask for much from life, but the simple things”. We can be assured if we make demands on what we want…perhaps many of our friends or family may not accept our plans. We don’t want to appear to be labeled “selfish” to the very people we cherish most, after all. That would seem like we don’t care. But we know we do care.

——

So off to the day you go… forward into the day life has dealt, with hope in one pocket and your planned expectations in another pocket. Some days it seems- things go well. Life is going just the way you planned it. Thankfully you appreciate the way the world treated you. You admire the work of fate or heaven or some guardian angel or personal wisdom you posess….. Other days everything falls short, everything you want is missing. You find yourself struggling with how fate dealt a blow, or God did not provide the answer to your prayers, or certainly someone else is to blame for the path it took.

In the end, it will only seem (in retrospect) that although your plans may contain the path you want to take- that you can count on the path turning in other directions- perhaps pointing the opposite way. In the end, you start to see the irony of it all- after all…the next second after this is truly one that hasn’t happened yet. So embrace the unknown. Know that there is something ahead and your life is already written in time, but not by you. Forge ahead with your plans- but know the path is winding. Look for what you need…

” You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need” – M. Jagger/ K. Richards

What is it you need? Happiness. Strength to carry-on. Love. Kindness. Compassion. Understanding. So many ways to get there, to get what you need…