Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the category “Doing Things That Will Change Your Life”

Passing On Stories Worth Remembering

Since I can remember I have always been interested in “stories”. I think it is fundamentally something that must be in our DNA from our ancestors. Years before there was a way to communicate in written form, wise men from tribes would pass down  to the younger members the most important stories about their history, about lessons learned.

We all have personal stories we want to pass on to others. It is the life blood of social networks and certainly of this wonderful WordPress blogging forum.  So much to tell. We all want stories in our lives that are meaningful. Sometimes they are and other times they may be less than profound. It may be that they are meaningful only because of the very perspective you have at the time, the personal eye in which events happened.

Other times they are lessons learned that we need to pass on, if only to provide others the opportunity to know about the past, or to find their own way, or to make sure they miss some of the perils that lie ahead for their own lives.  So that was my intention; to tell my kids everything I can about the things that could be important to them. To make them realize that they don’t have to make the “exact” same mistakes I did (even though they will ironically do it anyway).

So years from now, when I have succumbed to the end that faces us all, I hope and wish that my children will have stories for their children and the people around them. They will marvel that many of them were stories that had roots from their father, or that in retrospect were those things they had so passively listened to and filed away and finally they could apply.

Hopefully some of those stories stick, like one of those richly good novels that are fondly recalled. Perhaps like the story that made time stand still for even a seconds pause to be embraced by the generation ahead.

What are your stories? What are the things that you want to pass on that are worth remembering?

A song about “remembering” 🙂

Why Don’t We Ask More Questions

Advice I give my kids isn’t always followed, but I keep trying. Hoping they keep listening. One advice I have gave them is to “ask questions”.

Where is the Love Question-mark

Today it feels like we are always living with ‘sound bytes’. Short little sentences that say lots but really don’t mean much. Maybe that’s what really motivates a lot of people today when you get in conversations with them. When you ask for information about something, short answers. Sometimes ( maybe often) incomplete. The answer is the answer for your question, it isn’t a lie… but it is missing things. Things they know and you don’t.

Now you can accept the answer, you can decide it is all you are going to get- or it is all you need to know. Many times that’s just fine. I mean if you call an ice cream store and ask them if they have vanilla ice cream, they can answer yes or no (or maybe perhaps).  If you are good with that- now you can go to get vanilla.

What they might not tell you is that there is French vanilla, or vanilla with vanilla beans, or vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. Do you care?  Perhaps not.

But when there are important decisions to make in your life, things that could improve it, or help avoid otherwise painful situations, or take you on a new direction you may otherwise have not experienced. Then you should be prepared to ask more questions, be more clear about the opportunity or the path ahead.

But ironically, in those situations many times I find myself and those around me asking just the simple questions, getting the sound bite answers, and moving on. Often things that could be meaningful are left unsaid. It’s not that the other people are withholding information, they just aren’t thinking you need to know- or want to know.

So that’s what I have learned in my old age: Follow up questions and answers with more questions. And it pays to LISTEN to the answer. It will provide you the fodder for the next question. Without you may be  missing the opportunity, you may be missing a chance to better understand the choices, or better understand your fellow-man.

Simple as that. Yet with short 145 character sensibilities these days, with text message approaches to conversational English and people with so much input that short answers seem desirable- it feels like there is a lot things missing.

Not getting the whole answer feels like it happens a lot more often these days. It isn’t intentional. It is just “fill in the blank approach” to things.  So that’s my advice to my family. Ask the questions you need and follow-up with more questions. Be sure you know the course. A lot of times once you do  you realize there are people who want to provide more, and make your life better in the cause of it .

I like vanilla ice cream. I like to know all the flavors of vanilla, do they have toppings, can they put it in a cone, can they make it into a shake? Not sure. But always good to know the options. Of course there are more important things than that to know on our journey. Right?

Common Ground

For many people today (not all) there seems to be a great need to stand out in the crowd. Yet we desire common ground for true meaning.

Flaming Ying Yang

Some will claim that they don’t want to be part of the “crowd”. It seems that the social networking today is centered on being part of a group of people. “Friends”, “Work groups”  “Fans”  and “Political,Religious or sexual preferences”-  we all seem to be looking for our group. It is a good feeling to know that you meld with a group of people who have something in common, yet the desire to “stand out” in a crowd seems to be contradictory but also important to most everyone. Even reinforced by the media, online and other public places by making those “stand outs” be the focus of articles, videos and headlines. The rest of us all gather round and share those things to see what makes others and themselves unique.

So there is the conflict it would seem: We desire to be part of a common group. We want to be identified that way. But it seems that we also have a desire to be treated as unique,  to be different. Perhaps to feed our egos. Perhaps to satisfy the need to know that we are personally meaningful in the scheme of time (before our time is up on this planet).

So looking at the web and media it would appear that we all thrive on polarity. We keep being asked to identify which ‘side’ of the argument are you on?  In fact the media and online sites want to drive this because it probably sells more media and clicks on a site. In turn, we feed that need because we want to be part of the group. We want to be identified and want to understand why the other side is so “not” in our group.

Of course we all have our own opinions ( want to stand out in the crowd? want to be heard?)  But here is where it seems we miss out:  we don’t seem to be focused on the similarities regardless of our own unique opinions. Standing out in the crowd is important. But surely no matter what side we land, no matter what opinion we have to make us unique and be “different”… what makes us united is that we are all commonly human beings ( the ultimate group/crowd).

There are reasons for us to be in unity, it is ultimately the reason for our existence.

Just Too Much Noise

Its true. People want to be heard.

Squirrel Stopping the Action

There are a lot of ways to get attention, but in the end everyone wants to be heard somehow. Perhaps its the need to want to share a message (these blogs have evidence to that). Perhaps there is more self-serving reasons. Perhaps it is to share in the greatest story ever told.

But everywhere there seems to be a lot of noise drowning out the messages. Noise from the Internet. Noise from the media. Blinding the true messages, being louder than another message can make for a dominant message whether it is true or not.

It seems to be like everyone is trying to say.. “listen to me!”   Here’s my opinion. – Then in-turn they receive comments on opinions. leading to even more and more opinions.

Noise.

What is the real message at during the holidays and as we move to 2014 and the new year?

The Good News that there is faith in something bigger. There is a way to make the world better with grace in motion. Find the way to make the message come through.

What do we all need to do to be sure we are heard? Filter out the noise. Recognize it as something that will always be there, but if you are up to it, – you can make the difference.

 

The Day The Music Died

For those of us who love music… we likely all have music heroes.

Imagine

There are those musicians who perform and write music that hits our psyche, those who make a certain time in our lives more than special. There are those musicians who have been present in our lives for a long-span of it, and continue to be part of the soundtrack of our lives over the rest of it.

Music is a thread for me that has been present in one way or another for as long as I can remember.  I had music at my fingertips since I was old enough to play those yellow plastic 78 rpm records and 45 rpm records with the big hole in the middle on a little record player I had in my bedroom. I remember when my brother gave me his old “transistor radio” that actually allowed me to travel with music everywhere I went. It was the beginning of a discovery of the variety of music in the world. Easy listening, classical, country – you name it. In particular rock and roll was in its infancy stages when I was quite young. I was enamored with the same hits that all older teens were listening to, and wanted to play it every waking hour.

I learned about The Beatles there. In 1963 I had in my hand a $3.99 LP that my dad helped me buy from the local department store called “Introducing the Beatles”.  A brown almost old fashioned themed cover on an odd label (V Jay) with 4 guys  pictured on it that if they had shorter hair could have been the 4 Freshman, but they weren’t- they were significantly different.

From that moment on I was willing to consume all of the British invasion – take in every nuance of reference to the Merseybeat, to the mods and sods of English ruffians. But no matter what – the Beatles were my central soundtrack. Through the 60’s as I was growing up, they were growing up too. They were moving the culture of a generation of music, others were following. Even in the initial times of the late 60’s rock renaissance explosion, the Beatles were the royalty of the rock music that had become so diverse in such a short time.

So I here I am. Fifty years later. Still the fan of a group that has long since passed as music is depicted today. No wrecking ball, no electronic drums, no voice boxes.

What I miss terribly are all the years that we lost when John Lennon was assassinated so early in his life. Like many before him and many since, there was a lot of music to consume in such a short time. But imagine what it would be if he had survived to be the senior musician his famous writing partner has become. What would we have experienced?

That day in December 1980 will be indelibly in my mind. I was actually broadcasting on a local small town college radio station at the time. I spent the entire night with listeners who called in with disbelief as we listened to his music and remembered the day that made the music live for us. The music died that day. I still will remember it, hope many others do too.

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