Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “relationships”

Three Years for Tracksinthedust

Wordpress Anniversary LogoHard to believe that 3 years ago I started writing on Tracksinthedust.com and that its coming up on 10,000 views.

My intention is still the same I guess. Can I leave some messages  that our kids may read one day and perhaps reflect on their lives?  Advice? Maybe not always, But it has been very self-cleansing as well. I am guessing for most bloggers that is the net result, regardless of how many views you get on a post.

Thanks to all who have been visiting. I couldn’t have asked for more than an occasional stop on the busy travel through the Internet highway.

Some personal observations, some music (the image of the soul), and some self-absorbed lyrics/poetry. Thanks to those who have also visited my other blog: The Cancer Letters. http://www.cancerletters.wordpress.com too.

  • Tracks in the dust – we are passing through here kind of fast. Will your tracks in the dust last?
  • Love is what you make it. It’s not about you.
  • The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
  • Eternity matters most.

Sharing just a few of some of the older posts over the years.

1 Songs About Changes

2 All Things Must Pass

3 Scale of Accountability

4 Organization in the Clutter of Life

5 The Verb To Love

 

Fear of the Unknown

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Maria Robinson, American author

Fear

New beginnings come with the idea that there is always unknowns about where the journey should lead. I know I struggle with that every day. It compounds itself in worry, or makes me pull-back from what I am doing and do little or nothing at all. It can make we wish that tomorrow would not come, when there is really no way to stop it. It can create things in the moment that stop me from seeing the things that are right in front of me.

So fear of the unknown is likely to be something to contend with. Our worry over our loved ones, family and children, worry over how to make ends meet or our health. With that worry comes unhappiness, and the possibility of depression.

So what to do about it? For me I have to learn better to share my fears. With my loved ones, with my friends and spiritual leaders. with God who are  all in my life. I have always been private about things in general I guess. I probably got that from my father who seemed to be like that when I was growing up. Perhaps the stoic approach seems good on the surface- after all “why burden others” with your worries and fears?

What you find out is that if you share them, most other people have worries and fears as well. Many times the very same ones. There is no way to turn back the clock. But I can start today and make a new ending…by sharing my fears and thoughts with those who love me. For some ( perhaps even reading this blog) that may mean very little, for others it may allow them to understand themselves better as well.

 

Our 35 Years of Sharing

There is no way to put it into perspective completely. Today my wife and I celebrate 35 years of being married.

It has been a marriage filled with joy and sorrow, adventure and patience, love and anger, some victories and some regrets. The memories are precious, even as some of them are filled with cloudy remembrances, they are part of our love growing together.

Love Birds

We were married as our parents opined “very young”  ( my wife was 19 and I was 23). We didn’t go in blindly to the marriage, but I think we were naive about what the journey ahead would be. But headfirst we jumped into life with the promise of a bright future.

Thirty-five years later we have relocated multiple times across the US ( mainly because of job related reasons), we have 4 great children that have supplied ( and continue to supply) a house full of love and family dramas. But over all we have been blessed. Not by wealth, not by possessions, not by health or constant good fortune, but by each other. It has not been perfect.

I want to quote a wise  spiritual leader, pastor, author I have had the honor to know, Steve Lucas, who also recently posted some sentiments about his marriage on his site (Yesterday Lucas):   These really captured my heart as things that I feel are so true.  “Marriage is not about perfection. It’s about two people, stumbling through life together, growing in their relationship with each other and with God. Forgiveness, patience, a bad memory, and extra love are all ingredients that are required to make it in marriage.”

And I agree with that 100%.   As he explains also that there are a handful of days that could be good to have called a “do over”. I can think of several in recent memory ( some further back are a bit cloudy, but the remnants are still there ). But  as he says, do-over’s would likely be at the  expense of the wisdom gained through mistakes. Again I couldn’t agree more.  “ Thankfully, in every failure there has been forgiveness; in every trial, we shared them together.”

“I don’t deserve my wife. But then again, neither do I deserve the Grace of God. But I’ll happily accept both.”

I am blessed with the happiness of what is truly the good fortune in my life, to know true love.

Empty Nest

Empty nesting time. It is a reality for almost all parents at one time or another. Notice I don’t say “all” parents because I can suppose that some 30-year-old adults are still living with their parents somewhere ( for good or bad).

Empty Nesters

My wife and I can recall some of those days when they were very young. We’d wish for them to be a bit older and provide us some quiet nights sleep and a bit less chasing them around to keep things out of their mouths.

As they grew older we started to realize there were just “different” levels of challenges. Dating, distractions, puberty, peer pressure that leads to all of the moments when you ask yourself ” is this really my child?”  During their teens it was sometimes hard to distinguish how they would totally forget the lessons that we would have hoped the had learned in their “formative” years. But yes, they did forget. Often in some cases.

But mistakes will happen ( hopefully not catastrophic or life threatening… each which I have learned can be different) 🙂

We had one child who left abruptly when he turned 18, and didn’t look back. We didn’t really interact with him at all but after  12 years we have finally come to  know him again thank fully.

It is hard to let go, but they all have to find their own course in life, and what you have taught them (and they retained) has to be good enough.

My advice to my kids ( if they read these now, or later) is to be centered in who you are spiritually, remember the fundamentals between right and wrong, it’s okay to make mistakes, its okay to be frustrated and angry with life- but you need to make something out of those pitfalls. Apply the lesson to what’s going on ahead in your life.

So here we are – with our empty nest. But honestly we have 4 great kids who  we love more than anything, and they are  out on their own making a “go” of it. We’ll embrace them the best way we know how.  Yup, and here I am  at tracks in the dust still trying to share advice. Guess we can all learn no matter how old we get. I am learning how to be an older parent.

 

Ordinary

It seems like these days everyone I meet is  working so hard to be different. Make every day different, be different from the person to the left and right of us. Yet, of course we want to be sure that we are also part of the accepted group of people we believe we are in.  So we sometimes struggle for that balance.

But there is comfort in the “ordinary” and there is something to be said about that in our relationships.

There is a value to that ordinary feeling we may have, perhaps we even seek it in our love to be “familiar” to the daily lives with our partners? Ordinary is not a bad word. It means a lot more than that.

Give me a bit of the ordinary then. I don’t mind it.

 

Here is a great song about being ordinary  and in love, from Copeland. Love it.

 

Ordinary

Today was fine-
I woke up late like I always do.
Made work just in the knick of time-
And thought of you.And when I returned,
I found you just like I always do.
Waiting for me like you always are.Since you came along-
My days are ordinary.
We laugh just like yesterday-
And I kiss you like the day before-
And I hold you just like ordinary.
Perhaps when the day is new,
We’ll find tomorrow is just ordinary too.Tomorrow came-
My shadow it was growing long.
I came home to find you singing songs-
Just the same.And today it seems-
You’re smiling like you always are.
Every day it’s the same old thing.

Since you came along-
My days are ordinary.
We laugh just like yesterday-
And I kiss you like the day before-
And I hold you just like ordinary.
Perhaps when the day is new,
We’ll find tomorrow is just ordinary too.

 

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