There is no way to put it into perspective completely. Today my wife and I celebrate 35 years of being married.
It has been a marriage filled with joy and sorrow, adventure and patience, love and anger, some victories and some regrets. The memories are precious, even as some of them are filled with cloudy remembrances, they are part of our love growing together.
We were married as our parents opined “very young” ( my wife was 19 and I was 23). We didn’t go in blindly to the marriage, but I think we were naive about what the journey ahead would be. But headfirst we jumped into life with the promise of a bright future.
Thirty-five years later we have relocated multiple times across the US ( mainly because of job related reasons), we have 4 great children that have supplied ( and continue to supply) a house full of love and family dramas. But over all we have been blessed. Not by wealth, not by possessions, not by health or constant good fortune, but by each other. It has not been perfect.
I want to quote a wise spiritual leader, pastor, author I have had the honor to know, Steve Lucas, who also recently posted some sentiments about his marriage on his site (Yesterday Lucas): These really captured my heart as things that I feel are so true. “Marriage is not about perfection. It’s about two people, stumbling through life together, growing in their relationship with each other and with God. Forgiveness, patience, a bad memory, and extra love are all ingredients that are required to make it in marriage.”
And I agree with that 100%. As he explains also that there are a handful of days that could be good to have called a “do over”. I can think of several in recent memory ( some further back are a bit cloudy, but the remnants are still there ). But as he says, do-over’s would likely be at the expense of the wisdom gained through mistakes. Again I couldn’t agree more. “ Thankfully, in every failure there has been forgiveness; in every trial, we shared them together.”
“I don’t deserve my wife. But then again, neither do I deserve the Grace of God. But I’ll happily accept both.”
I am blessed with the happiness of what is truly the good fortune in my life, to know true love.