Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Imperfection”

Our 35 Years of Sharing

There is no way to put it into perspective completely. Today my wife and I celebrate 35 years of being married.

It has been a marriage filled with joy and sorrow, adventure and patience, love and anger, some victories and some regrets. The memories are precious, even as some of them are filled with cloudy remembrances, they are part of our love growing together.

Love Birds

We were married as our parents opined “very young”  ( my wife was 19 and I was 23). We didn’t go in blindly to the marriage, but I think we were naive about what the journey ahead would be. But headfirst we jumped into life with the promise of a bright future.

Thirty-five years later we have relocated multiple times across the US ( mainly because of job related reasons), we have 4 great children that have supplied ( and continue to supply) a house full of love and family dramas. But over all we have been blessed. Not by wealth, not by possessions, not by health or constant good fortune, but by each other. It has not been perfect.

I want to quote a wise  spiritual leader, pastor, author I have had the honor to know, Steve Lucas, who also recently posted some sentiments about his marriage on his site (Yesterday Lucas):   These really captured my heart as things that I feel are so true.  “Marriage is not about perfection. It’s about two people, stumbling through life together, growing in their relationship with each other and with God. Forgiveness, patience, a bad memory, and extra love are all ingredients that are required to make it in marriage.”

And I agree with that 100%.   As he explains also that there are a handful of days that could be good to have called a “do over”. I can think of several in recent memory ( some further back are a bit cloudy, but the remnants are still there ). But  as he says, do-over’s would likely be at the  expense of the wisdom gained through mistakes. Again I couldn’t agree more.  “ Thankfully, in every failure there has been forgiveness; in every trial, we shared them together.”

“I don’t deserve my wife. But then again, neither do I deserve the Grace of God. But I’ll happily accept both.”

I am blessed with the happiness of what is truly the good fortune in my life, to know true love.

Imperfection is Perfect

As the song goes “that’s the way God planned it”.

It seems that perfection (like beauty) is in the eye of the beholder. Imperfection is what makes things so right. Nothing is perfect- there are blemishes in nature, and humankind is far from it.  So many strive for it, but the harder they work toward it the farther it seems.

So what about this imperfect life we live? Some of the rough parts are hidden, some of them are there for all to see. Some things are ugly, others are beautiful. There is not going to be a way to be perfect in everything. Only one man on Earth was and He died on the cross.

Today in the media, it seems there is always some story about a gaffe or mistake that fromcelebrity or politician doing or saying something. People put under the microscope of public media. Scrutinized for any mistake, or unexpected action not commonly fitting the in the “perfect form” we think we want. Awk! Like pictures of celebrities in regular every day circumstances, women celeb’s without their make up on (really?) or politicians making comments that don’t fit what we think they should be saying (especially for the opposition during election).

All this just appears to reinforce our expectations for  what the media or some portion of the community  wants to paint as “the standard” of perfection . It feels like a bad trend. It makes others feel inferior when they shouldn’t  It sets the bar so high that others feel they cannot ever reach it.

Sadly, so many continue to live up to expectations of perfection they will be hard-pressed to ever achieve. They look for approval that never comes, and in their frustration they get angry or sad. Sometimes the emotion leads to violence or suicide. Other times it leads to depression and hopelessness.

We have to accept imperfection. God embraces it. We have to understand that in itself there is the beauty of uniqueness ( is that a word?). There is something that makes everyone and every thing worthwhile. If we put that under the microscope instead and rejoiced in it… relished its imperfection. Celebrate the exceptions.

So what can we look for in our striving for perfection?  What do you believe? Do you believe?

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