Doing Things That Will Change Your Life | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the category “Doing Things That Will Change Your Life”

20 Sep 2012

What Other People Think Of You

I have always struggled thinking about with what other people thought of me. Acceptance was so often a guideposts for things I would do, for the plans I would make. There was a time when I turned a corner. Maybe it was part of my Lutheran upbringing or later on in life my cancer diagnosis, but I finally realised it had to change.

When you worry about what other people think, you let them control who you are. You waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want you to be. Maybe they want it selfishly, maybe innocently they want you reflect themselves on you? You don’t even realise it – but all of a sudden you find yourself wasting a lot of time and energy trying to become like something you believe people want you to be, rather than just being what God made you to be.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because it leaves us extra sensitive to criticism. It means we may not do the right thing for ourselves but instead, we do the things that other people want us to do. And what everybody wants to do is often the opposite of the compass inside of us. Then when we feel that friction we are even more irritated with our life around us.

You cannot please everybody. There are so many opinions about so many things today, no one is going to always be pleased with you. People pray for things – some for one thing, some for another. Only a fool would try to do what even God can’t do. You can’t please everybody.

You don’t have to please everybody. So many people try to believe that in order to be happy you must be loved and gain approval by every one else. You know that deep in your heart you don’t have to, but somehow there is always that chance that it seeps back in.

Rejection will not ruin your life. It can be painful, you may even remember it and feel its imprint on you later. But it is not the end of things. In fact later it may look like the beginning of something else.

So I quit trying to please everybody years ago. It became obvious that no one can make me feel inferior unless I let them… It starts by beginning to understand that it can be your choice.

14 Aug 2012

3 Comments

Finding a Purpose and the Lack of Self-Esteem

There seems to be a great lack of self-esteem these days. Sitting around with some good wine and great friends, we all agreed that these days seem like more people are challenged with a lack of purpose. Maybe spurred on by a lack of self-esteem. I read a statistic (for what it is worth on the Internet) that an estimated that 50% of the working population in the US are in the wrong jobs. But because of the lack of confidence and self-esteem that stay where they are.

In a previous post I had talked about becoming a victim and the levels of accountability. It is easy to find ways to blame others for our plight, instead of lack of confidence in ourselves. It can lead to spending a lot of time and energy building the reasons for blaming others. It can mean time wasted that could be used instead to finding time to build the confidence in the fact that we are THE unique person in the plan. After all it begins with self-esteem and celebrating our unique-ness (is that a word?).

Perhaps some of our esteem is missing because we are missing the spiritual center of our lives? Could it be that somewhere along the way we have under valued our special place in the universe, the individuality that makes us fit in the day-to-day interaction with our friends, co-workers, family, lovers?

Is being unique a bad thing? Today it seems like many want to believe it is – and when someone calls out their individuality they are persecuted for being prejudiced or “politically incorrect”. In the end we are all part of the human race, but we need to be ourselves (as they say, “everyone else is taken”).

We need a purpose, and God can be that purpose. With no purpose… on purpose, we end up looking for it in all the wrong places, and then end up alone wondering why it the things seem so unreachable. So distant. Lost for the vision of the future in our lives and after that.

So in my efforts. I also have to remember that I need to be constantly teaching my children those same things, and live it as I speak it. Or they will just go on with the risk of choosing the same cycle. Being part of the pattern of lack of esteem.

From pjgracecommunity: I need to discover my purpose!

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Definitions, Grace, Opinion, Philosophy, Postive Thinking, Self-Awareness, Self-esteem, tracks in the dust

10 Aug 2012

When You Are Angry

It’s very likely that everyone reacts to things differently when it come to being happy or angry. There are some so genuine universal things that seem to be so great when it comes to sharing emotions. Those are the things that make us human no matter where you live on this big spinning globe I guess.

But what makes you angry? I mean so angry that you are not focused on anything else but that anger? Does start with hate or frustration or end with it? Is it derived from fear? Is it founded in truth, or built on ignorance?

When you get angry, what do you do with that? How do you manage it? Do you ask yourself later: why did I end up getting angry? which in turn may make you angry again (ha)!

If you can answer these questions then, I would guess that you are more in-tune with your inner-self than others may be. When I look at the recent violence that has happened in the US, I know that I cannot imagine someone being that angry and distant from the human race as to wake up one day and intentionally kill people because of anger. That tragedy is beyond me. Yet there are probably scores of thousands of more angry people out there, who are living with themselves with no spiritual or moral guideposts to examine their emotional state.

Also it would seem that fear has just fueled that anger more. Fear of people who are different in some way, fear of the unknown. The Internet has let loose a firestorm of opportunity for people to share their fears and their ignorance, but not in a productive way, rather in a destructive one. And it adds more fuel when those ramblings become so massive that even our politicians, celebrities, and leaders in the world just help to further reinforce what some of these very angry people believe to be true.

So angry people run to the Internet or some other place to find their false sense of need to gain the confidence, in turn it leads them to take out a gun and go to a public place and kill their fellow human beings. They cannot reason with themselves, and they have not allowed themselves to reach to the Words that would provide the answers they need. They are willing to even build their anger on untruth’s.

Finding your inner peace and not letting anger consume you can be found simply in the Spiritual things that God can provide. I say a prayer for these lonely souls who have let anger consume them, and have in directed that anger through their fear to innocent people who have been in the way of their wrath.

I have asked my family to pause when they get angry, and ask themselves “what am I angry about?” “How does it control me?” Life here on Earth is short in the scene of things, spending it in anger is such a sad way to spend it.

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. Ephesians 4:26

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Anger, Change, Emotion, Faith, Fear, Forgiveness, God, life is precious, People, Self-Awareness, spirituality

02 Aug 2012

1 Comment

Starting Is Essential to Winning

As I watch the Olympics this week, and see how many young athletes are working so hard to win, I cannot think about how hard they worked in the process of preparing to win. They had a goal, and they were focused on working for it.

All around me I see people who seem to be waiting. They are wishing to win, waiting for it to arrive . LIke it is luck that is going to knock at their door and come in and say “hi, I am here”…. like it will arrive at your doorstep like a guest long over due.

But that is not how most of the successful people have gotten where they are. Yes they are expecting to win…but through their lives they have been investing in the success. They aren’t shy. They have been willing to compete. Which means they have been equally willing to lose and personally own the loss. They do not blame others for the position they are in, they accept the consequences and make course adjustments to assure that the next time makes a difference.

I have had friends that are always expecting to win… but some of then act like they are looking for divine justice, like there is someone waiting there who is going to hand it to them because ultimately they think they deserve it.

In the end, the true winners seem to know how to be celebrating the win. They are not wallowing in it. They are soaking-in the win and moving on to more, they are not staying in place and seeking constant approval and adoration. They are finding the next step on the path to winning.

Sure, winning isn’t everything – but it isn’t a bad place to be. Feels good.

You have to admire the people who make it all the way to the Olympics. For the most part, who ever makes it deserves it, They worked hard and stayed focused, they earned it. How hard was it to earn the privilege to compete in the Olympics. In some way they have fought to be there. Much like in professional sports, so very few make it to the pinnacle of the sport to be called out to represent the excellence that the sport of choice represents.

So for most of us, individually we win in life when we reach a goal and find ourselves in a position to win. We look for confirmation, and we acknowledge that we are made with the desire to win and succeed. Some times it is our own personal success, and others may not even know we made it so.

In the end you can’t win if you don’t play. I always used to say, “if you want to win the lottery you have to play, if you want to win the race you have to line up for the start.”

How many of us end up wishing we could win, wishing we could succeed in something but really don’t choose to even start to play? Dont wait. Start now. The race is long and success is in your grasp. You have to start to begin.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Celebrating success, choices, course adjustments, Definitions, Emotion, Fear, Olympic Games, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, true winners, winning

31 Jul 2012

4 Comments

Control of Your State Of Mind

Who has control of your state of mind? Doesn’t it really come down to you?

If we have anything to learn in our lives around how we live it, one that thing that truly seems to escape some people is “how one looks at their life and all that surrounds it.” There seems to be so many sad or angry people who are stuck in one place- looking through a single vision. Some people walk through life sharing their state of mind with anyone who crosses their path. “Would you like to get angry with me?” they seem to say. Or “I am sad- can I share my sadness with you-” wishing that perhaps you can be sad too. In fact if you share their mood they may even start to feel better about themselves.

But then don’t we all have control over our own view of the world around us? It is OUR view after all. Sure. We can choose to be the victim of the circumstances that have brought us to this particular point in time. We can ignore the opportunity to make things better, expelling the chance to change things perhaps because of the uncomfortable feeling that can come with change. Even in our deepest state of “blues” we relish the feeling, even as we lament about escaping it. No doubt it is great to experience to help put things in perspective.

Others may go searching for the more positive path ahead. But that can take time. I have met friends and family who say that “life is a journey” but they choose to travel that journey with little direction. They wander along “looking for themselves” – Change for change sake…can result chasing after something they may never find. “Finding themselves” can create a reason to not go forward, rather than working harder to “create yourself”. Searching can mean waiting for someone else to define who you are, it can create boundaries.

So what do I tell my kids? Regardless of today, the next direction is based on your a state-of-mind I think. It starts there. Don’t let the anger and sadness consume you, don’t let it send you to places that can smother the reasons to change. Your state of mind is yours to choose. Okay, so we all need to have the downs to better appreciate the up’s; but we cannot wallow in it. Take some time to have the blues/ but then take the time to change your direction and create that journey with a positive direction. Choose to deal with it and move forward.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free