Acceptance | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Acceptance”

03 Oct 2013

“Who Are You?”

Not to get all Freudian or something, but i constantly continue to meet people who are struggling to understand themselves better. So I am bringing it up again.

It seems that people may not be able to personally define who they are perhaps. They have a lot of friends, family and lovers (past and present), around them who are more than willing to tell them how they define them.

But the reality is: if you could not ask the people around you…how would you define yourself?

Easy to put on different costumes and personalities to show to others, through different phases of a relationship with someone, different pieces of the “real you” may not be immediately exposed.

Asking the question “Who do you believe you are?” without parroting back what others say you are is hard to do and seems to require inner inspection. Are you the same person inside as you appear to others? So easy at first to say “yes”- but the last person you should lie to is yourself and it is easy to do ( at least I can say that personally in a truthful way).

So go ahead…ask yourself who you are. Be honest. Are you a singer, a lover of horses, a follower of sports? Labels.

Are you someone who thrives on interaction, or just likes interaction to validate who you are… letting that define the real you.

Deeper, who are you spiritually? Sure there are labels: a scientist, a teacher, a lover, a friend. That’s easy to do… just add it to your Facebook profile already… but who are you when the world and others don’t label you.

Worse yet, once you think you know who you are– try comparing that to how others see you.

Some of my closest friends have lost marriages, significant family relationships and friendships because they realized that they were trying to become someone they weren’t ever going to be, or worse yet were trying desperately to fit into something someone else wanted them to be. We always evolve from the foundation of who we are- but before you can really grow- you need to know what that foundation consists of.

I sound like a bunch of songs from the Who (queue “Who Are You” or “The Real Me“) or like the dozens of philosophers from my college classes. Seems like we are always in need of introspection.

My advice to my kids:

In this busy world – with constant input coming from so many different places- with almost instant feedback [more than any other time before in history], we need to be sure our first definition of ourselves is ours.

Your Circumstances Don’t Define You, Your Response Does (betterlifecoachingblog.com)

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Being Labelled, choices, Defining Yourself, Doubt, Ego, Faith, Love, relationship, Self-Awareness, Who Are You

01 Oct 2013

Meaning

Meaning. A big word that means a lot. People are looking for meaning in life, and wanting meaning in what they do. I know it is important to me, and it seem to be that every one is seeking it.

Maybe it is a meaning for the job? After getting paid, it would be nice to know that you are a contributor, that you make a difference in the job, that you get recognized for the work you have done.

Maybe it is understanding “why” – defining the meaning to injustice in our lives and the world around us, the unfair things that happen to others, to you. Understanding why people are violently hurting each other, hating each other, making life miserable for others.

It could be the ultimate “meaning of life“- looking for the spiritual center. Are we really only on earth for such a short time only to have it all end? Is there something more? What are we supposed to do while we are here on earth? (that is a topic for another day, but it is clear then that eternity matters most).

People want meaning in their lives too. So many want to mean something to someone. To the ones they love, to their family and friends. They want to be significant in their lives.

There is the gallant goal of doing something meaningful (good or bad) in life. Showing mankind that you have something more to give can make for a lifelong task. Sometimes achieved, sometimes never reached. Not all the heavy stuff of Kant’s enlightenment or something. Just searching.

So in the end- what is that driving meaning in your life? Can you reach for it? Is it elusive or in-reach? Are you always looking elsewhere and not right in front of you? It can be so simple I think, yet so difficult to find. It can be a daily driving force. A preoccupation that can consume us. It can find us somewhere in a “hollow” place, It can be infinitely rewarding.

Here’s my take on it: Look for it in the closest places. In your heart not your mind, in the eyes of others, in the places that provide peace in your life. Look for it in God, look for it in the air you breathe. Breathe in. The meaning is there.

The meaning of life per perspective. (williamkiddjr.wordpress.com)
Youth ,hopes and dreams- meaning to life (rajatkumar1069.wordpress.com)

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Fear, God, Grace, Happiness, Joy, Meaning of life, moments, Philosophy, Reality Check, Religion and Spirituality, Searching for Significance, Who Are You

09 Sep 2013

Songs About “Changes”

There are so many songs about changes. This song always reminded me ( along with Bowie’s Changes) that no matter what happens, everything changes except for change itself.

I know for me every time I get comfortable with the routine, cruising on “normal” – then something changes. And I feel silly thinking “why did that happen”? Because in the reality of life, changes are good. Things have to change, and when it feels like it hasn’t you have to wonder. Seasons, time, a purpose to everything (Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds).

So if you don’t know it now- “before long you will find out”.

What are songs in your life that signify changes?

It’s a matter of choices
And a matter of time
For you it’s a matter of drive

You will let nothing
Get in your way
You set to conquer
Each single day

Everything Changes
But change itself
You can take out
What you think you know put it
Back on the shelf

And would you believe me
If I’d spoke my mind?
‘Cause nobody gets there they just
Try, try, try

Everything Changes
But change itself
Like a bird you’d sooner fly away
But you’re stuck in yourself
As everything Changes….

We stay the same
But we stay the same
You keep turning
Before long you’re going to find out
What’s in a name

So you look for the answer
Then pull it apart
Tear it up ’til there’s nothing there
‘Cause it hurts your heart

Everything Changes
And for what you lack
You keep turning
Before long you’re going to find out
Everything Changes
It’s not hard to tell
Like a bird you’d sooner fly away

Timing is Everything (karenmulvey.wordpress.com)
“Turn and Face the Stranger” (missbabybrysonthoughts.wordpress.com)
Songs About “Time” from Tracks In The Dust

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, Byrds, Change, choices, Doubt, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Songs About Changes, tracks in the dust, Turn! Turn! Turn!

04 Sep 2013

4 Comments

The Results of a Job Well Done

I have been away from blogging lately because my wife and have been working on a major home remodeling project. The end result will be to make our home more comfortable and attractive of course; more to our liking to make those casual days at home provide more pleasant surroundings.

But we also realized something else when we most recently spent a holiday weekend (3 days) working hard on the project at hand. Working hard for those changes also meant a new change for our environment, but also a great feeling of accomplishment. Sure you can get the reward of accomplishment at work or school, and those too can be satisfying. But also making your “living space” more personal, more “you” – and working hard to do it has its own reward.

There are weekends when we spend the entire weekend being as casual as we can- “at rest” and we know that we have earned it after a long week of work and errands. So we appreciate it and make sure we do those things that are worthy of the casual time we had invested. After-all, after the weekend it will be back to work… back to focusing on earning our keep, taking on the responsibilities we have become accustomed.

But its interesting that the results of the work-filled weekend of projects has some feeling of satisfaction that is equal to (maybe even more than) the casual weekends we have spent. A moment to stand-back and admire the sweat equity of our labor. We have made improvements to our nest, we have increased our comfort. Some long hours of making things better for the sake of “us”- not for the earnings, not for the rewards for recognition from others. Simply for the knowing that we have produced a “job well done” and we get to embrace the rewards we have created … whew.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Emotion, Feeling of accomplishment, perspective on life, Philosophy, Sweat equity, Work–life balance, Working time

22 Aug 2013

How Many Friends?

Flickr friends (Photo credit: Meer)

In the days of social media the term “friends” has taken on a whole different meaning. Years ago before the word became a measurement of success by accumulating the highest number possible, friends were more likely the genuine type.

Yes, there were those fleeting friends that came and went, some you may not be able to recall their last name or exactly where they were inserted in your life. But there were those friends that mean something even now. It doesn’t mean that you text them every day, or write emails to them even monthly, but they are “there” and they represent a place in your history that is significant.

Those friends may count for a large portion of who you are, or they had made an impression that was mutual as you traveled through the timeline (another word that has changed its meaning these days). They may be the closest confidant or someone who you shared experiences with that were beyond the every day trip to the shopping mall.

Friends can count (instead of counting friends) – and can make the difference. It is still amazing that in those cases you can meet up with them after a long absence, and start right where you left off. You can enjoy the news of what has happened in their lives as more that just a casual observer. You can embrace their family or friendships they have made along they way and appreciate that history.

There are those friends that are there for you, at a moments notice. No matter how silly it may seem in the afterthought, they were there for you in the moment, It provides one of the real purposes in your life as you live it.

There is this song that I remember from a long time ago (1975) from The Who. It reminds me that true friendships are precious and should be cherished. They take you as you are…