Acceptance | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Acceptance”

30 Apr 2012

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s what my wife has been reflecting on often these past weeks, and it is something seems to apply to so many things in life.

Here in America, perhaps it goes along with being a country full of “consumers”. Mass consumption can get so extreme that creates the notion that getting more of everything that others have, getting the super-sized item or getting the most valuable item means contentment. It’s like the thought is: “after all, if we earned it we should deserve it”. Some see it as being able to do whatever you want and some others doing it in spite of what others want; often without considering any consequences. I have heard it said “If it is not illegal or immoral, just go ahead if you can afford it. “

Sadly it seems there are so many messages in the course of a day that just keep working on influencing our sensibilities. Upgrade your car, your home, your life… or make sure you are always happy. Don’t get left behind and be certain you have the newest! Whatever the message it feels like it is aimed at you to be sure you can measure your value in life somehow. Whether it’s on the media or from the people around you, it can appeal to your peace-of-mind, or the need to be recognized by others.

Sometimes it isn’t as serious as much as it is perhaps ironic. Out shopping at a local large discount store on the weekends, I see people who are wearing clothes that don’t flatter them, really don’t fit them or worse yet make them look like they are wearing someone else’s clothes. Seriously, just because they make those short-shorts in that green glowing color in their size does not mean they should be wearing them! Funny really- not that everyone shouldn’t have a positive body image, but there are times when it is worthy of a chuckle.

In other cases it is so much more subtle. Some divorced friends of mine in the past wrestled for legal custody of their children. It was obvious who would come out on the side of custody, but just because it could be done, didn’t mean it should. The children get the wrong end of the settlement, and the awarded parent just “could” and therefore did.

While yet so many other couples we know, just keep working themselves to death to help pay off their debit because they have bought so much on credit. Just because they could, they did- they bought things and went places- on credit. It made them happy temporarily and then over time, it pushed them into the brink of disaster in their personal lives and their relationship because they realized the things around them did nothing to validate who they really were wanting to be.

It can work that way in life I think. Just because you can own it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can take it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you always should. Consuming all you can devour for the sake of doing it… is more than simply self-centered road…it also affects others around you in so many ways.

There are so many better doors to go through, so many more roads to take. So many more reasons to take them… and most of those you can take just because they are there- if you choose to take them…because you can.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Doubt, Life, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Truth, Who Are You

27 Apr 2012

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What Are Your Plans?

What are your plans? I mean is- what are you going to do tomorrow? OR the weekend? Or next week? Next month? Before the end of the year? Just what are you planning to do?

Sometimes it seems we have it all mapped out. Dinner out tomorrow, shopping on the weekend. Going to a movie, going out to the club. But then things happen. Work gets in the way, or just emotional baggage comes and swoops you up and makes the whole thing change.

The harder you plan it seems, the more things seem to change the course. Sometimes it seems others have plans for you. They influence the direction your going and make for an abrupt turn of events. There are times that is fun, just go with it and let it happen. Other times it feels like things are just spinning out of control and your plans are just not happening the way you envisioned.

Of course those can just be the plans in your near future, jotted down on your calendar on your smartphone, scribbled on the calendar on your desk. But those longer term plans – kind of fuzzy? Kind of indefinite? Things you wish you could do someday or something you have imagined will be in your future?

Accepting change is as difficult as accepting the plan. Finding the goals to get where you want to be can be difficult. Not worrying about that forever tomorrow, but at least putting one foot in front of another and head out toward that point in the distance. “Let tomorrow take care of itself” is a spiritual path we can all count on on our journey. But aiming for the future is also what hope depends on, it is the picture that keeps us moving. No GPS can get us there, no Google map that will put a pin on the point of destination. But it is your inner compass that you have to look at. Head out. Make plans… know that in the course of things it will change but make sure you have a vision.

Yes, you have to work on your plan. If you want things to go your way you have to focus on working the plan. You are in control of your future. But don’t forget that there are as many deviations as there are straight lines. Change can be good. The core of what you want though, is you and the things written on your heart and soul. So just go now… make tracks while we have our time here on Earth. But make them count on your journey. Plan on it. Plan on change. Don’t be afraid of the change of course, and with the view from your heart, don’t worry about the final outcome. Trust yourself to do what is right on the long and winding road to the end.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Bad Plans, cherish, Emotional baggage, Eternity, Future, God, Plan, Reality Check, tracks in the dust

12 Apr 2012

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No Day But Today

There are times when I ask myself “How did I get here?” I don’t mean I have been unconscious and I woke up out of a daze or something. I know I have been moving along day to day, living the life I have lived and counting the days on the calendar.

But when I stop to think about it I realize that there were many, many days that I had wished would come to an end as quickly as it could… You know, those days when it all comes down on you and you think it can’t get worse? At the end, you sigh the sigh of relief, hopefully lying in bed and wondering if you close your eyes will it go away (there are some I remember did not finish in my bed, but were in some very odd places I shudder to remember).

Still when the day is finished, look for the next day to improve. Of course there are always those days that start out looking like they are going to be “one of those days”. You know them…Issues at work, family conflicts, tests of patience or memory or physical stamina. Even in my younger days I knew that they would be around from time to time. But I hoped that they would be far between, and would be interspersed with some really brilliant and wonderful days. And of course they would be.

They stand out in life, those days that are the “best days of your life”. Things that happen in it seem to feel like miracles. Birth of children or like reaching a milestone: finishing school or achieving and being recognized for the challenge. These can be those times when you reflect back on your “firsts” and realize that it there will only be seconds and thereafter and capture those precious days forever in your memories. You find that you relive them again with your friends and family in remembrance. Many times you may not even have a physical picture of it, but the pictures remain clear in your head.

But between the days of “need to be over” and “wish it would never end” are mainly the abundance of days we live. And even then, they may be focused on the coming weekend or looking forward to special events or anniversaries with special people.

My advice to my children. Don’t wish them over, don’t take the day for granted or keep hoping for a better day some other day. Cherish the day you have. Thank God for it. Stop and take it in. Put the ingredients in it to make it be a day you can appreciate. Apply kindness, patience, grace, compassion, love. You won’t get another day that is identical; each day will be unique an non-repeatable. And you don’t have any guarantees that the next day will come with you in it at all. So please don’t wish them away.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Bad Days, Compassion, Grace, Joy, Kindness, life is precious, Love, moments, Self-Awareness, Special Days

07 Mar 2012

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A Combination of Reflections

Something I always wanted to tell my kids, and didn’t get to enough. Personal reflection, like a mirror, is not always easy to look at. You are a combination of so many things that came before you: your family, your friends, your lovers,your teachers, your spritual mentors, even your enemies. And when you stare into the mirror, what do you see?
There are days to see your successes, days where you wonder how you got “here” and times when the only thing you see looks like a stranger. Days when you don’t like yourself very much, and others when you can’t believe you could be happier. No matter what you see you have to be ready to put your life & your reflection in perspective ( sort of like moving closer to the mirror or standing way back). You are the person you are now. You can choose to accept it or choose to change it. You can look for small things to do, or make sweeping changes that could effect the entire direction of your life.

Accept change, embrace the unknown future with hope. Someone once said that life was like a roller coaster, or it could be more like a merry-go-round. Either way it is moving and you are in it- made up of everything that you have experienced since the day you were born. Take joy in that, make a difference in all you do… while you are here on Earth, and share the mission of the tracks you are making.