Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Acceptance”

11 Apr 2014

In A New York Minute

In a split second, in the matter of a moment, a second, a minute or a day things can change.

It amazes me that in life’s adventure, during our mission here on Earth we are able to experience things in real time and see so many changes around us. I know some people resist change, and others welcome it. I can say that I expect it.

Sometimes the changes are long-coming, but more often it can be one shift in the status-quo for your life to take another direction. Some times it can be predicted, but we choose to ignore it. Other times it is just a total shift in things.

My wife and I are going to get a chance to meet my grandson, someone we have never met during his seven years on this Earth. Due to a long story of events our oldest son has been out of our lives for over eleven years. Now, in a New York minute – we are planning their visit to our home.

There is a story of the prodigal son in the Bible that rings true, but there are so many twists in our story. We are good with things really, it is good to have the opportunity to meet him. We don’t have any way to explain to him the time lost, or to have him understand the life we had with his father until he left home at age 18.

So we shall let things run the course they are headed. Change is good overall. It was quite a change back on the day our son left home. It will be another when we meet up with him and his son these many years later.

Comes to mind the Don Henley song. Here is a great cover of it. Life is short. Believe.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Change, Change is good, choices, Don Henley, Fear, Forgiveness, Life, mental-health, moments, Music, Opinion, Self-Awareness, The Eagles

28 Mar 2014

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Embrace the Day

A smell, the weather, a certain sound, a book, a song, a painting, a color, a texture.

So many things capture memories, trigger the recall of things that have been- things that are. The best ones are those you don’t seek I think. The memories you don’t conjure up. They just appear, they just show up in a dream, on a walk, sitting with your friend, your lover.

They take you through time and capture something that was hidden in your brain, a feeling, a thought, a place you’d forgotten, a person who has long since not been part of your life. That is the building blocks of who you are. Those are the things that preserve the fabric of your being.

Yet, some other days seem void of things, almost like they come and go so quickly that they blend in with each other. That is when we need to remember what is really important.

Don’t run away from it, don’t force it or be angry because that day has come and gone with what seems like no purpose. Just embrace the passage of time and be aware of every small victory, every simple opportunity to provide grace to those around us. It only makes those empty days full.

Sometimes its worth saying it again.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Advice, choices, Finding Confidence, Joy, Lack of Confidence, Life, life is precious, Memories, mental-health, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Sprituality

27 Mar 2014

Focused Restoration

Recently, some very wise men spoke to me and others on the perspective of “restoration.” It was profoundly interesting that it applies in so much of our lives each day.

We work to restore those things that are broken in our lives by doing some fairly outlandish things. Just like those projects to help restore the broken things around us, we work to restore ourselves and others.

As we try to fix what is broken in our relationships, what is broken in our lives – at work, in our families, with our friends, with our own spirituality… our chances of getting it wrong are very high. We tend to count on our own sensibilities to reason out our restoration.

Or worse yet we may be working on restoring others around us. It may be easy to point at others and see their imperfections. It may even be reassuring that by doing so, we can tuck away our own need for restoration. Do you know those “fixers” that work to fix up others in their lives, but miss working on themselves? The focus is elsewhere.

Personal restoration can be kind of like a facade. A false front that has little content behind it. Maybe just go for the quick fix: If “only I ” do this one thing- everything will be better. Life is moving kind of fast, so we hunt down that magic thing that will solve the problems in our lives, will help to mend the issues that seem to be looming and keep us from the better life, keep us from being a better person.

But ultimately I think, the truth is in how we focus our energy, how we make sure that we are doing those things we can do and putting our trust in the outcome. The expectation may be different from the result. Perhaps we need to invest in ourselves? Some may see that as selfish, but it is the genuine investment in our spirituality. The focus on inspecting our hearts and our souls to know that we are right and true to ourselves.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Definitions, Faith, Grace, Personal restoration, Philosophy, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Religion and Spirituality, spiritual focus, Sprituality

25 Mar 2014

Perfection

Easily it can be said that we will never achieve perfection. As humans it is not in our DNA. Nor should it be.

We will strive for it.

We will find ourselves constantly falling short.

We will measure ourselves by what someone else may expect us to be. Or perhaps we may measure ourselves on our own perspectives of what we think we should be.

But in the end- we will fall short.

It is what you do with that will become part of your self-realization, It will be the context in which you are able to live your life. You can choose to measure yourself to perfection, and in some ways that is a good thing. It is the motivator by which we can create our standards to live by. But if we are delusional in using that to apply to the adage that “winning is everything” we may find ourselves in a place that is hard to maintain.

We are rewarded often in our lives for working hard to strive for things. We want to avoid failure, We do not want to be seen as weak or unable to perform to the standards in which we are expected. In our families, in school, at work in our relationships we are always trying to measure up. Accepting that perfection will not happen does not make you mediocre. It makes you human.

We know that we were made imperfect. As humans God has made us that way to allow us to be – well – human. Perfection would be reserved for only one, and He left this earth centuries ago.

So a first step in making your life happier is to accept imperfection. Be sure that you strive for things, but be honest that things will get in your way and no matter how you work it…. you will fall short.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Change, Doubt, Failure, mental-health, moments, Perfection, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness

06 Mar 2014

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Be True to Yourself

There is a very long story, from a very long time ago that I have rarely shared.

Over ten years ago my first-born son left home to go out on his own. He had met someone on the Internet and became friends with her during his early teen years. When he turned 18 he decided he wanted to move away to be with her.

Perhaps a classic story of the prodigal son. Perhaps something that would have ended up on one of those hyper-active sensational TV talk shows [did I say it was a long story?]. It was painful as my wife and I and the rest of our family watched our son take what seemed a drastic 180 degree turn in his life and leave home with someone who we had never realized existed to that point.

There were a thousand things we wanted to say to him. There still are, though I doubt he’d listen. Yet over time and a highly emotional roller coaster of feelings, he has been out of contact with our family for over 10 years.

In reality there is only one thing to say to him. It was something that struck me the other day [another long story]. It is something I have to believe that my other three children have learned. Perhaps even because of their oldest brother, perhaps just because we had to live it with them again and again.

Be true to yourself. Don’t lie to yourself, but be honest to what you know in your core are the right things to do and be.

Sure, you will make mistakes, you will find yourself doing and saying things that aren’t really part of the inner center you have come to know. But in the end, be true to who you know you are. Use compassion and forgiveness and the awareness that you are part of the human race and God’s plan for it. Make peace with what you are. But don’t sell yourself short. You have the potential to be the person you know you could be. I am not talking about riches, or fame. But be the “person” that defines your spiritual inner self. God will be your guide.

So to my three wonderful kids, I give them this advice. Don’t deny it. Be true to yourself, to who you are.

To my long-lost first son. If there was one thing to say…