Change | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Change”

04 Jun 2012

Talk Yourself Into It

As it has been said, your thoughts determine your feelings and your feelings determine your actions. If you want to change your life, you have to control the way you think. Sadly I see so many of my friends and co-workers who seem to be talking themselves into being negative about themselves and others.

Science says that you’re constantly talking to yourself — all the time. Your mind is talking to you! I bet you are talking to yourself right now. Research shows that most people speak at a rate of 150 to 200 words per minute, but your mind can listen to about 500 to 600 words a minute. That’s why you can listen to one person while planning what you are doing tonight at the same time.

It’s been measured that the conversation we have with ourselves — is at a rate of 1,300 words per minute. Because your mind sees in pictures, and you can see a thought in a nanosecond.

So your personal conversation may be saying, in effect, “Everything I say puts me down.” Like most of us, you are your own worst critic. Seems like we’re always putting ourselves down. We walk into a room, smiling, but inside we’re thinking, “I don’t look right. I don’t fit in. I may not be able to talk well with strangers. I’m sure they will think I am boring.”

God wants us to stop putting ourselves down. When you put yourself down, who are you really putting down? When you say these bad things you’re really pointing to God, who made you. When you say, “God, I’m worthless. I’m no good. I can’t do anything,” you’re saying, “God, you blew it with me.” That’s why God says it’s wrong to put yourself down.

“Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right … Think about all you can thank God for and be glad about” (Philippians 4:8 LB).

So, don’t think about all those weaknesses in your life. There isn’t a better thing you can do to raise your confidence level than to start believing that you should fix your thoughts on what is true, good and right. You are valuable; you are significant; you have the ability; you are more than capable.”

Ref: Inspired by Rick Warren.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Book of Proverbs, Change, Fear, Happiness, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Sprituality

29 May 2012

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Some Days are Movies, Some Days are Books

Some days are movies, some days are books.

There are those days that seem really fluid, like some sort of compact movie with a plot that has a beginning in something simple and builds to an ending all balled up in 2 hours. It is like some director is moving the characters in and out of the scenes ( of which you all seem to be in). Or you are hearing the storyline unfold through a strange set of circumstances. Things are registering, things are happening, but in some way you are still connected in a distant way. There is a soundtrack complete with meaningful and selected subject matter intended to shape the mood. A lot of background is out of focus, but you don’t mind. You are seeing it as a sweeping story of your life.

Yet, there are other days that seem like a book. Each and every detail is carefully drawn out to get you to turn the page. The details are descriptive, intense and in some crazy way going in slower motion than you would expect. There is dialog that is meaningful, there are surroundings that have significance. But the whole thing feels like an author ( you actually) is building the plot like some final distant conclusion on a page near the back cover. And the characters are deep and move in and out of the pages like a rhythm that is comfortable, with room enough for several sub-plots.

So I know that I don’t always get to choose. It can be a surprise that can somehow be pleasant, or cause a lot of frustration. It’s like that feeling of being distracted when watching a movie with a lot of dialog, or looking up from a page in a novel and having to go back and read it again- just to keep the story in context.

Today was a movie. And now that it is nearly the end of the day and the credits will be rolling, thinking about tomorrow…well who knows? Kind of okay with that, brings itself some adventures that will always be adding to the plotline, always be making a new soundtrack or revealing a new twist in the characters with in.

Either way, I can make it work.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Books, Change, coping, life is precious, Memories, Movies, Slow Down, Who Are You

04 May 2012

1 Comment

Time Travels Forward, Are You?

Choose: Forward, Backward, Standing Still.

That is what one of my bosses years ago used to say. Either you are making forward progress, looking backward, or you are standing still (side to side is still standing still).

Forward motion is desirable it so it would seem, most the time. The movement is your life’s path, the path that will end when we meet that fateful day somewhere in the unpredictable future. Some days however it is an inch by inch progression forward, other days it can move miles ahead. And then there are those days that seem like things are standing still – even that can be welcomed. No change, no bad news, no good things either- but that could be just what is needed. But generally forward progress keeps pushing you on…

Looking backwards on life’s path is educational, there may be times and places that you want to return to in your life, but time only moves forward (unless you are in one of those wild time travel movies). You have to learn from your past, but you cannot return to it even if you try, it will always be different from it was as time has made it so.

You may be like some of my younger friends who are in a hurry to move things along. For them it is almost urgent that things change at the fastest pace possible. Running toward the future can be healthy, but it can mean you have the chance to miss some genuinely great experiences along the way, or run into things that can stop you cold. Other times it can feel like you could be running to the end to the end of the path (end of life) much too quickly. I have had close friends that were like that… like almost in a self-destructive way they would do whatever it would take to rush the day along by drinking it way, or smoking it away, even sleeping it away. ( play “Working for the Weekend” song here for the soundtrack)

There are people I know that really want to make things stand still in their lives. No changes. Like being in a comfort-zone, enveloped in a place the is safe. While moving forward for others is urgent, these people are some that are urgently hoping for things to not change…like they are dependant on it. Co-dependant with the lack of change, years later frustrated , they ask themselves “what happened”? Since time and progress was moving all around them. They can’t get that time back, others in forward motion have passed them by, and they start looking backward. Which is never going to be the same as it was. Of course the best choice is forward, but after so long it is hard.

I can tell you as I grow older there is comfort in having those slow, unchangeable days where progress forward is almost a stand-still. But progress forward is good… spiritually, mentally, physically, intellectually. There is always time to grow.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Change, choices, comfort zone, experiences along the way, Forward Progress, life is precious, Reality Check, self, Time, tracks in the dust

02 May 2012

Just Because You Should, Doesn’t Mean You Will

Just because you should, doesn’t mean you will.

Okay so this is the follow up to my previous post Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should.

I find myself in this situation very often. There is a list of things I should do. Many of them are things that would make me a better person, others are just things that I know would be nice to accomplish for what my dad used to say “the good of the order.” There are plenty of excuses as to reasons why I can’t (see my post The Scale of Accountability). There are many reasons that I just put things off. When I was young my dad also used to say that I was definitely a “pro-crastinator” on some things– as opposed to an amateur one I guess.

But besides putting things off or just finding excuses, I find that when I reflect on everything I have done at the end of each day, there are several things that got in the way. I let them I suppose, or I prioritized them way down the list when I shouldn’t. They get relegated to “tomorrow” stuff… or put on the weekend list. That’s just going to happen because there are only so many hours in the day left over after work and sleep and eating.

Something’s may just be simple things to do, but when piled up together they are like a bunch of pieces of a puzzle that look difficult to assemble. Some of those things need more time- more quality time, or more concentration than my brain-cells have to offer. Yet others may be things that are not that desirable to have to do in the first place, and then that too weighs on the decision to do them.

Sure there are chores, house repairs, detailed cleaning, running the errands of the day, paying bills, corresponding with emails and messages from friends and family, and so many other things that seem to “task” the lists. What easily gets pushed farther aside is the focus that I need to keep grounded in what is truly important… and that alone seems to get pushed around on the “to do” list.

At the end of it all- doing what is important to feed yourself spiritually should be at the top of the list. For me that would be spending time in the Word. It may be just meditating on the positive things that I should be sharing with the people around me. It may just be sitting down with my family and enjoying each other’s company, or with my wife and longtime partner in this journey…taking time to really know how her day went or what she is feeling today.

There I go then… things I should do… but don’t get to. Even examining the things that get in the way is an entry on my “to do” list. If you use Excel spreadsheets- I envision it to the error message for a “circular reference” – put on the to-do list to clear the to-do list.

I will get to it soon!

Nope. Maybe right now… how about you?

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Change, choices, Doubt, Family, Home, life is precious, Procrastination, Reality Check, Sprituality, Time management

30 Apr 2012

4 Comments

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s what my wife has been reflecting on often these past weeks, and it is something seems to apply to so many things in life.

Here in America, perhaps it goes along with being a country full of “consumers”. Mass consumption can get so extreme that creates the notion that getting more of everything that others have, getting the super-sized item or getting the most valuable item means contentment. It’s like the thought is: “after all, if we earned it we should deserve it”. Some see it as being able to do whatever you want and some others doing it in spite of what others want; often without considering any consequences. I have heard it said “If it is not illegal or immoral, just go ahead if you can afford it. “

Sadly it seems there are so many messages in the course of a day that just keep working on influencing our sensibilities. Upgrade your car, your home, your life… or make sure you are always happy. Don’t get left behind and be certain you have the newest! Whatever the message it feels like it is aimed at you to be sure you can measure your value in life somehow. Whether it’s on the media or from the people around you, it can appeal to your peace-of-mind, or the need to be recognized by others.

Sometimes it isn’t as serious as much as it is perhaps ironic. Out shopping at a local large discount store on the weekends, I see people who are wearing clothes that don’t flatter them, really don’t fit them or worse yet make them look like they are wearing someone else’s clothes. Seriously, just because they make those short-shorts in that green glowing color in their size does not mean they should be wearing them! Funny really- not that everyone shouldn’t have a positive body image, but there are times when it is worthy of a chuckle.

In other cases it is so much more subtle. Some divorced friends of mine in the past wrestled for legal custody of their children. It was obvious who would come out on the side of custody, but just because it could be done, didn’t mean it should. The children get the wrong end of the settlement, and the awarded parent just “could” and therefore did.

While yet so many other couples we know, just keep working themselves to death to help pay off their debit because they have bought so much on credit. Just because they could, they did- they bought things and went places- on credit. It made them happy temporarily and then over time, it pushed them into the brink of disaster in their personal lives and their relationship because they realized the things around them did nothing to validate who they really were wanting to be.

It can work that way in life I think. Just because you can own it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can take it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you always should. Consuming all you can devour for the sake of doing it… is more than simply self-centered road…it also affects others around you in so many ways.

There are so many better doors to go through, so many more roads to take. So many more reasons to take them… and most of those you can take just because they are there- if you choose to take them…because you can.