choices | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “choices”

03 Feb 2013

Introducing The Cancer Letters

Sharing my story with my kids (and anyone who will read it) I will be writing:

The Cancer Letters

Cancer Letter #1

When I was much younger I remember that feeling of being so invincible. I mean I had my share of childhood illnesses, some afflictions that made its way through grade school years. But overall the thought of succumbing to more treacherous illness or terminal disease was reserved for older people, adults that had “complications” because of their age or the way they lived put them in harm’s way.

Then in middle school I was friends with a girl named “Patty” who our teacher announced one day had Leukemia She was out of school for a while and then actually came back to class. She even went on the class trip to Washington DC. I got to know her and spent hours on the bus ride on our school trip talking with her about many things and about nothing at all. She was a very insightful person. Weeks after we got back from our trip she stopped coming to class. It wasn’t too many weeks later after that she died.

I spent months not clear on what it was that God would do to take someone like her so young and leave the rest of us to feel empty about her not being in our lives anymore. I think I played Bob Dylan and Joni Mitchell music for hours on end and created angry artwork (I guess it might have seemed very Bohemian at the time).

So as I grew older and got married, my wife and I had children. And of course as parents we have spent our time worrying about them as they head out the door every day for school. Now as they are out of school and growing into adulthood, we still worry about them. Admittedly we still watch for those things that could indicate more serious issues, we still take a moment when we see them to tell them that we love them.

It was over 20 years ago when my parents passed from this earth to a better place (more about that later). Both of them were in their 70’s and had me when they were much older. But they still would care immensely about my health and safety. In fact when I got older and married, I used to cringe some when I would see them and my mom would dote over me. After all I was a parent myself. I miss that now.

Years went by- living with all of the ups and downs, and then came the day when the Doctor decided that “further tests” were needed. That was the beginning of a life changing event that shook my world, my wife’s world and my family’s world.

To share my story with my kids (and anyone who will read it, I will be writing more of The Cancer Letters.

Posted in The Cancer Letters and tagged Anger, being remembered, Cancer, choices, Grace, Memories, moments, Prostate Cancer, Reality Check, Sprituality

23 Jan 2013

3 Comments

Beware of Darkness

Beware of Darkness.

There is so much darkness in our lives isn’t there?

There is darkness of night- allowing some to use the cloak of the evening to “go out” and prowl, to move among the darkness unnoticed and secretly meet with others. To be able to move along the shadows, away from the light.

You could find yourself slipping into darkness- like some sadness that comes over you. Slowly like the change from day to-night, or quickly like the wind blowing at the head of a storm. It’s the darkness of the stormy weather ahead in your life, you choose to hide in it.

There is the darkness of evil, like Satan the king of darkness. It catapults you into the most darkness places on Earth. It drives people who are unable to distinguish dark from light to plunge toward it. To take up the evil and combat the innocent or unknowing. It leads to machine guns in schools, murder and lies that will make others do things that are never forgivable by humankind.

So darkness is described as the absence of light; but without it light cannot exist. One small light in the darkness can shine brighter than a 1000 points of light on a bright day. Light provides the ability to reveal the reality of what darkness hides, it allows for progress to carry-on. Light needs darkness.

Darkness can be comfort like the warmth of a dark room, of like a deprivation tank floating like a dream. Staying under a blanket in a safe place that keeps the outside out and the inside in. Like a womb of darkness that will create a safe-place in your mind, a place to reset and rest before coming back to the light. Like the world turning the darkness gives way to the light. For some they never return.

Darkness can be the scariest place where secrets untold. It seems like that can bring a whole new level of darkness that can trap you in a pattern that has little light to offer. Like George Harrison sings, “Beware of Darkness”

Darkness is a combination of all colors- but somehow it when opening your eyes, it can seem like the absence of all color. The light is there. It is out there if you reach for it. If you find a way to let it in.

At the end of our lives, faith tells us that it can be the arrival of the light of the eternal flame… of a Spirit higher than anyone of us. The light that never brings darkness. That is the light of the world and the hope for tomorrow.

Thanks for the inspiration from fellow blogger No Blog Intended her insightful views on darkness in her world.

Darkness and to me

Darkness-the bright side

Also tracksinthedust related post

Controlling Your State of Mind

Finding a Purpose the the Lack of Self Esteem

A great blog full of insight on fighting the darkness:

Agents of Light

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Beware of Darkness, choices, Darkness, Doubt, Eternity, George Harrison, Reality Check, Who Are You

17 Jan 2013

1 Comment

The Last Words You Say

These days I am so much more aware of what I say to everyone every day. Time and time again I think about how those things I say and how I say them could be the last words I ever say to them. ….Oh, I know that this sounds like this is so filled with dread, like the world is so fatal. But it’s really not that.

If you have a choice with your loved ones on what you would say on the last day you are alive, before you leave this earth for a better place ahead. What would you say? ….. then ask yourself why you are waiting? Say it now.

There aren’t very many reasons to consider waiting, and your life is a gift that allows you look inward and provide love and care to others while you are here on this planet. We all are looking for a greater meaning of the whole thing called life, but the simple things can and should be at the center of it. It is the reward here.

So think about the next time your son or daughter or spouse is leaving out the door for the day. Consider the next time you see your family and friends. Are you telling them what you would tell them if it were the last words you would say? Are those bitter feelings, or small worries worth spending that valuable time? Or would you rather make sure that your precious time together always be cherished?

Don’t take your time for granted. Make it count. Be sure to reach out and say what you mean. Whether it is in-person or on the phone, whether it is an email response or just a random meeting in a store. Never let it go without being sure that you appreciate their love, or the part they play in your life, focus on the reason they mean what they do to you… It doesn’t take a million words. It doesn’t have to be a deep speech or long drawn out oratory… just tell them you care…

Thank you for visiting tracksinthedust. It’s always nice to know how much humankind really needs the same things in life. Blessings to you!

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged cherish, choices, Compassion, Faith, Grace, Kindness, life is precious, People, Postive Thinking, Sprituality, Truth

05 Nov 2012

5 Comments

The Deserted Island Question

So here’s the challenge that a few my friends and I started around the bar stools the other day.

These are pretty common questions, but there is always interesting answers.

1) What are the 5 musical artists (complete works) you would want while stranded on a deserted island? ( Yes you would have some way to listen to them)

2) What are the 5 books you would want to while stranded on a deserted island?

3) What are the 5 movies you would want to have to watch while stranded on a deserted island? (Yes you would have a way to watch them too)

And yes you have all the other key stuff to survive. No you don’t have any idea when or if you would be rescued so these have to last for potentially the rest of your life.

I know it is standard issue kind of question. But waiting for your answers, then I can share mine too I guess. Just wondering what others would say.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged choices, Favorite Books, Favorite Movies, Favorite Music, Music, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Stranded Deserted Island, Who Are You

18 Oct 2012

2 Comments

Paint It Black

I see a red door and I want it painted black.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and I must have it painted black
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

(Thanks Mick and Keith)

Black and Red. Kind of like there are those contrasting days, those moments that we come up against when things change. I think they are my favorite colors (is black a color anyway?)

It reminds me of the song in Les Misarables ( the great musical) Red and Black.

Red – the blood of angry men!
Black – the dark of ages past!
Red – a world about to dawn!
Black – the night that ends at last!

Change happens, sometimes for change-sake, sometimes because it has to. But it is.

You can change things from red to black. You may end up changing it back.

There may be times you just feel like painting it black – but red will have to do.