Family | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Family”

12 Feb 2013

No Drama Zone

There are days when it isn’t welcome. The drama and urgency of others hits you square in the head. You just want to leave it alone, let it be something someone else needs to know, someone else needs to deal with.

It’s really not that you don’t care, close family and friends deserve the critical points that make up drama in their lives as much as anyone. We all have those moments, those days, those situations that put drama in our lives.

Sometimes it seems it is self inflicted – we can attract drama in our lives like a magnet. We even are unaware and unconscious about it coming and are surprised when the drama arrives. Things do go another direction than we expect, things find their ways into our lives that just make things so much more difficult than we are expecting, than we are wanting.

But there are times when our friends and family want to share drama. Even more unexpected than our own, it comes with the needs and wants of their expectations, which sometimes just.. aren’t… yours. You just can’t deal with it and you take a deep breath. Because after all it is a loved one… you have compassion for their plight. You understand your dilemma but it just isn’t something you can deal with at that time. Maybe some other day, but not today.

So then you feel like you don’t care. It tips the scales on the things you are dealing with at the moment, and makes it even worse in some ways because you want to be there for them. But it is that moment when you can not. It feels wrong.

As a person who cares about things (like most of us do), especially your family and close friends… it feels frustrating -yet is probably better for them that they know there are those points in the day, week, month. moment that it just has to be a… NO Drama Zone.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Compassion, critical points, deep breath, Definitions, Emotion, Family, family and friends, Friends, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Worry

18 Jun 2012

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The Mosaic of Life

Some days can seem to drone on for a long time. As the summer days in Texas grow longer and the heat lingers on, it gives me pause to stop and thank God for all the people he has put in my life. They have all created a mosaic of memories and experiences that allow me to get to this point and see what I see. It amazes me. Even on those bland and simple days , where nothing eventful of note has left its mark, there is always the reflection of the events and people that have been before this moment.

I miss many of them, but they had their own roads to take and lives to travel. I am better for having them in my life’s paths, and hopefully I helped be a piece of who they are too… Not all of them were the greatest of friends, in fact some were foes. But they all made a difference.

I am also thankful that I have my family. Through the laughter, the tears, the frustrations and triumphs we work through them together as best we know how, with God’s countenance and grace to watch over us. I haven’t seen one of my sons in nearly nine years, and I pray that he is learning this to be true. But I love him still. I am fortunate for my three other children and my wonderful wife that have been in my life these many years.

As the US recognized Fathers Day this past weekend, I want to hope that I have reflected some of the greatness of my father on my children. I think I have. I am fortunate to be able to say that, (when so many don’t wish or want it so)…my children never really got to know my father before he died- but I see him in them. Such precious little time with their other grandfather was hopefully enough to see the man he was and what pieces of him exist in them as well.

So I continue to be amazed. And I hope you can reflect on the mosaic of your life that has brought you to each day, and be amazed along with me in the light it produces. Be good with what makes you who you are today, share it with your family and friends, and be joyful for what adventures lie ahead in the time here on Earth.

“Family” by Joe Walsh

I’ve been alone most of my life
I’ve never known what it was like
To end up somewhere and not have to pack
To be among friends I know have my back

But now I’m here where I belong
I’ve finally found a wife and a home
And a family that matters, means more to me
Than anything I have ever believed

And when we are gathered together
Tell me how blessed can somebody be

Give thanks, break bread, say grace, bow heads
For all of this love that surrounds me
We laugh, we cry, stand together that’s why
It’s all being part of a family

Tried it before, never felt right
I never dreamed that someday I might
Be part of something bigger than me
It makes me feel humble, finally I see

All that we have is each other
And that’s all that I’ll ever need

Give thanks, take time to say that I’m
So grateful for all that surrounds me
We laugh, we cry, stand together that’s why
It’s all being part of a family

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, Family, Grace, Life, Love, spirituality

02 May 2012

Just Because You Should, Doesn’t Mean You Will

Just because you should, doesn’t mean you will.

Okay so this is the follow up to my previous post Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should.

I find myself in this situation very often. There is a list of things I should do. Many of them are things that would make me a better person, others are just things that I know would be nice to accomplish for what my dad used to say “the good of the order.” There are plenty of excuses as to reasons why I can’t (see my post The Scale of Accountability). There are many reasons that I just put things off. When I was young my dad also used to say that I was definitely a “pro-crastinator” on some things– as opposed to an amateur one I guess.

But besides putting things off or just finding excuses, I find that when I reflect on everything I have done at the end of each day, there are several things that got in the way. I let them I suppose, or I prioritized them way down the list when I shouldn’t. They get relegated to “tomorrow” stuff… or put on the weekend list. That’s just going to happen because there are only so many hours in the day left over after work and sleep and eating.

Something’s may just be simple things to do, but when piled up together they are like a bunch of pieces of a puzzle that look difficult to assemble. Some of those things need more time- more quality time, or more concentration than my brain-cells have to offer. Yet others may be things that are not that desirable to have to do in the first place, and then that too weighs on the decision to do them.

Sure there are chores, house repairs, detailed cleaning, running the errands of the day, paying bills, corresponding with emails and messages from friends and family, and so many other things that seem to “task” the lists. What easily gets pushed farther aside is the focus that I need to keep grounded in what is truly important… and that alone seems to get pushed around on the “to do” list.

At the end of it all- doing what is important to feed yourself spiritually should be at the top of the list. For me that would be spending time in the Word. It may be just meditating on the positive things that I should be sharing with the people around me. It may just be sitting down with my family and enjoying each other’s company, or with my wife and longtime partner in this journey…taking time to really know how her day went or what she is feeling today.

There I go then… things I should do… but don’t get to. Even examining the things that get in the way is an entry on my “to do” list. If you use Excel spreadsheets- I envision it to the error message for a “circular reference” – put on the to-do list to clear the to-do list.

I will get to it soon!

Nope. Maybe right now… how about you?