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Archive for the tag “relationships”

29 Jan 2014

Facing Your Fear Through Faith

Faith.

It’s easy to give-in to the pressure of the people and things that are happening around you. We have a tendency to reach for our own personal courage and convictions to help defend ourselves from those things that seem to attack our sensibilities.

Defending the purpose of our day and the reason for our existence ends up being something that takes a lot of effort and seems to be an unending lifelong job.

It’s a wonder we don’t just give-in to those things that create personal fears and doubts. But we have something that is much stronger than our personal resolve, something that is the shield that helps to make each day what God intended it to be. We can stand firm in our faith and not let personal fear and doubts chip away what God has asked of us.

There will be numerous attacks on our faith. There will be numerous reasons put into our path to convince us to step aside from the strength God provides. Often we can forget what makes us strong, and try to overcome things ourselves.

We tend to believe our strength is ours alone, and then when things aren’t going the way we plan- we give into the fear that waits inside us and we ignore the place of real strength. As a personal cancer warrior I battle that every day of my life.

So there is one answer. Put it all in your faith in Him. Make sure you are consciously aware of the strength it provides;be sure to use your faith and confidence your faith to make yourself stronger each day of your life.

Count on that faith to make the decisions you need to make. Count on the courage that it provides when things aren’t going the way you think it should – because trusting in Him will make the difference. Looking at your life through God will allow you to “be on your guard”.

I had posted this on another blog of mine, but it seems to ring true every day of my life. How about your life?

It’s something to work on daily. It is practice in our faith that will make us strong. Standing firm on what that will provide the courage we need to face our fears and doubts.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Cancer, choices, Compassion, facing fears, Faith, Joy, life is precious, mental-health, personal courage, personal fears, Philosophy, relationships, Religion and Spirituality, Sprituality

15 Jan 2014

Common Ground

For many people today (not all) there seems to be a great need to stand out in the crowd. Yet we desire common ground for true meaning.

Some will claim that they don’t want to be part of the “crowd”. It seems that the social networking today is centered on being part of a group of people. “Friends”, “Work groups” “Fans” and “Political,Religious or sexual preferences”- we all seem to be looking for our group. It is a good feeling to know that you meld with a group of people who have something in common, yet the desire to “stand out” in a crowd seems to be contradictory but also important to most everyone. Even reinforced by the media, online and other public places by making those “stand outs” be the focus of articles, videos and headlines. The rest of us all gather round and share those things to see what makes others and themselves unique.

So there is the conflict it would seem: We desire to be part of a common group. We want to be identified that way. But it seems that we also have a desire to be treated as unique, to be different. Perhaps to feed our egos. Perhaps to satisfy the need to know that we are personally meaningful in the scheme of time (before our time is up on this planet).

So looking at the web and media it would appear that we all thrive on polarity. We keep being asked to identify which ‘side’ of the argument are you on? In fact the media and online sites want to drive this because it probably sells more media and clicks on a site. In turn, we feed that need because we want to be part of the group. We want to be identified and want to understand why the other side is so “not” in our group.

Of course we all have our own opinions ( want to stand out in the crowd? want to be heard?) But here is where it seems we miss out: we don’t seem to be focused on the similarities regardless of our own unique opinions. Standing out in the crowd is important. But surely no matter what side we land, no matter what opinion we have to make us unique and be “different”… what makes us united is that we are all commonly human beings ( the ultimate group/crowd).

There are reasons for us to be in unity, it is ultimately the reason for our existence.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Advice, choices, Common Ground, Desire to be heard, Differences, Grace, Opposites, Postive Thinking, relationships, Self-Awareness, Sharing Opinions, Who Are You

25 Dec 2013

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Good Parent/Bad Parent

Easy to read all of the comments these days about how parents are treating their kids.

The Internet and media are full of news about parents who have done “bad” things to their kids. Some of them life threatening, some of them much more subtle but damaging. As a parent the obvious conclusion is to compare and be sure that you are not one of those parents who damaged their kids futures from some sort of neglect. Who put them through hell during their childhood so that they would never be good kids or worse yet good adults when they grew up?

Always seems like someone has the best idea: ” Spare the rod spoil the child.” “Teach the kids to be independent.” “Tell them how it really is.” “Make sure they understand that everything has consequences.” Or maybe for some they teach them ” there is always a way to get out of something.”

With so many influences outside a parents control- getting that fundamental core values have to be taught earlier and earlier. There is no shelter from the influences that are available today for kids in every age level.

So what are my wife and I ? Good parents? Bad ones?

I know I have my days where I guess I am pretty good. My kids have their own problems… did I dump them on them or did they collect their situations and predicaments all by them selves?

There are regrets as a parent, but overall you have to make the best of it. Some parents have much more success, while others seem to be constantly frustrated by their children- and cannot see why they had anything to do with it.

So I am guessing that is the fate of parents in general. They didn’t come with an owners manual when they arrived. Other than medical or convictions as reasons that they may not come to be; there are very few rules stopping someone from having one, even if they have very little experience or life lessons to reflect upon. Yup, no license to be a parent, no manuals, no permissions to be obtained. We parents have a lot of responsibility, but that is seldom accounted for as much until the day they are born… handed to you and you become a “parent” …. then the debate begins.

I love my kids (all 4 of them) and hope that they don’t blame us too much for the way they turned out. When they are doing good, we think that we did pretty good raising them; they think they did it all themselves. When they are doing poorly, we think it must have been some other reason than us; they think that it’s all their parents fault.

Either way – most of us do the best we can it seems.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, being a parent, being remembered, Children, Doubt, Family, Grace, Happiness, Memories, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Raising Children, Reality Check, relationships

30 Sep 2013

Believe In Love

There are times when I forget, I get so involved with the mechanics of life that I easily ignore the reality of things. The world is full of struggles. Full of pain and anger. Full of things that we cannot effect at the moment but can influence our day, change our mood, make things cloudy on a sunny day.

That’s when I remember the power of love. Of believing in love and what it can mean. For my life, living in the spirit that is God and the love of my wife who is there for me no matter what happens.

Many people are equally as fortunate. Not every one I understand. But there are so many people out there that turn their back on love. They will deny it; but they’re making a path away from love.

There is this great song called BELIEVE by Elton John that always catches me thinking about it again. I am sharing this, the statements of war, money, dictators, churches, politics and papers all get tangled up in what we should believe. Believe in love.

Believe

I believe in love, it’s all we got
Love has no boundaries, costs nothing to touch
War makes money, cancer sleeps
Curled up in my father and that means something to me
Churches and dictators, politics and papers
Everything crumbles sooner or later
But love, I believe in love

I believe in love, it’s all we got
Love has no boundaries, no borders to cross
Love is simple, hate breeds
Those who think difference is the child of disease
Father and son make love and guns
Families together kill someone
Without love, I believe in love

Without love I wouldn’t believe
In anything that lives and breathes
Without love I’d have no anger
I wouldn’t believe in the right to stand here
Without love I wouldn’t believe
I couldn’t believe in you
And I wouldn’t believe in me
Without love

I believe in love
I believe in love
I believe in love

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged cherish, choices, Elton John, Faith, God, Grace, Happiness, Kindness, life is precious, Love, Music, relationships, Sprituality

08 Jul 2013

1 Comment

A “Dog Person” or a “Cat Person”

Having become a new owner of a dog for the first time ever in my life, I imagine there are a lot of people who will say “what took you so long?”

For most of my life from early on there were cats in my home. My mother was a “cat person” and we had several cats over my childhood, mostly they were my mom’s (one in particular was certainly hers alone) but I liked them (except for that “one”). It was something I became accustomed to. My dad hated them really. He saw no use for a cat. Once he figured out that one of the cats we had didn’t like the sound of the food blender, he spent a period of time with the base of it plugged in next to his favorite chair, and if the cat came near he would switch it on.

After my wife and I got married, we lived in small apartments where a dog was not very practical. At one point when we finally decided on a cat, we found out that it was not allowed in our apartment area and it factored into a decision to move.

So then…many cats later (and 4 kids)…my wife finally got her dog (did I mention she grew up with dogs?). So she became a dog-owner several years ago, and the dog was perfect for her. Just what she’d always wanted, but for some reason or another we never had gotten to having a dog in our family before.

The last cat I had was a big grey Russian-Blue type of cat, with a bit of tabby in him I am sure. What some may have called a “barn cat” I suppose. He would greet me at the door, follow me around, come hop up on my lap at the end of the day and sit next to my chair when I would be working at the computer. He will always be “my cat.”

Now a DOG. Just a mutt. But a dog that I will call mine. It’s part Border Collie/part Australian Shepard, part goofy. I am told that a mutt owner needs to know the suspected “parts”. I know I am not prepared for the higher maintenance of a dog but everyone says you get used to it. The walking, the cleaning up afterward. He was adopted from a dog pound. Saved one from the possible sad early ending of so many dogs that get neglected or rejected in their lives and end up there.

I know… I know…. There are “cat people” and there are “dog people”. I am trying to convert. Hoping he can teach me ( the old dog) some new tricks. A dog person. Yup. Working on it. Likely a life changer right?