Always working for a center, it seems like we are frequently blind as we move from ditch to ditch. We may not see it when it happens – not immediately anyway. But then looking in the rear-view mirror it seems easier to see. We want to be independant, but we rely on others to validate our value day-to-day. For some of us that means imersion into relationships (friends/lovers) or jobs or school. It can be almost surely a pleasure, but with these earthly things- we can equally be the ditch we are not aware of. Our center is questioned? Do we really need to be there? Can we be what others want us to be and still be at our center?
But being good with yourself as you (as I had said in another post) means understanding who and what YOU want to be. Spiritually is foremost. What defines you? For one of my children it meant voiding everything he had learned for his life before his mid-teen years, and becoming validated by someone who he met online who provided him some kind of answer. Her definition of my son. So many years ago he left our home one day never to return, with someone he met online that helped him to a path ahead that didn’t apear to be his “center”- but another persons idea of what that should be. I haven’t seen my son in 9 years. He is lost in somone elses definition and I pray one day he will find himself and look for a way to remove himself from the ditch he is in.
It happens a lot. A controlling person driving relationships from ditch to ditch.
Friends and lovers, family shouldnt consume you, control you, determine your fate or make you someone that is not you. They can help define you in the world by pointing out the ditches, by helping you keep steering to your middle. You can be left of center/right of center, or dead ahead center… but stay out of the ditches whenever you can. It starts by being true to yourself.
Tracks In The Dust 