April | 2012 | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the month “April, 2012”

30 Apr 2012

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s what my wife has been reflecting on often these past weeks, and it is something seems to apply to so many things in life.

Here in America, perhaps it goes along with being a country full of “consumers”. Mass consumption can get so extreme that creates the notion that getting more of everything that others have, getting the super-sized item or getting the most valuable item means contentment. It’s like the thought is: “after all, if we earned it we should deserve it”. Some see it as being able to do whatever you want and some others doing it in spite of what others want; often without considering any consequences. I have heard it said “If it is not illegal or immoral, just go ahead if you can afford it. “

Sadly it seems there are so many messages in the course of a day that just keep working on influencing our sensibilities. Upgrade your car, your home, your life… or make sure you are always happy. Don’t get left behind and be certain you have the newest! Whatever the message it feels like it is aimed at you to be sure you can measure your value in life somehow. Whether it’s on the media or from the people around you, it can appeal to your peace-of-mind, or the need to be recognized by others.

Sometimes it isn’t as serious as much as it is perhaps ironic. Out shopping at a local large discount store on the weekends, I see people who are wearing clothes that don’t flatter them, really don’t fit them or worse yet make them look like they are wearing someone else’s clothes. Seriously, just because they make those short-shorts in that green glowing color in their size does not mean they should be wearing them! Funny really- not that everyone shouldn’t have a positive body image, but there are times when it is worthy of a chuckle.

In other cases it is so much more subtle. Some divorced friends of mine in the past wrestled for legal custody of their children. It was obvious who would come out on the side of custody, but just because it could be done, didn’t mean it should. The children get the wrong end of the settlement, and the awarded parent just “could” and therefore did.

While yet so many other couples we know, just keep working themselves to death to help pay off their debit because they have bought so much on credit. Just because they could, they did- they bought things and went places- on credit. It made them happy temporarily and then over time, it pushed them into the brink of disaster in their personal lives and their relationship because they realized the things around them did nothing to validate who they really were wanting to be.

It can work that way in life I think. Just because you can own it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can take it, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you always should. Consuming all you can devour for the sake of doing it… is more than simply self-centered road…it also affects others around you in so many ways.

There are so many better doors to go through, so many more roads to take. So many more reasons to take them… and most of those you can take just because they are there- if you choose to take them…because you can.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Doubt, Life, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Truth, Who Are You

27 Apr 2012

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What Are Your Plans?

What are your plans? I mean is- what are you going to do tomorrow? OR the weekend? Or next week? Next month? Before the end of the year? Just what are you planning to do?

Sometimes it seems we have it all mapped out. Dinner out tomorrow, shopping on the weekend. Going to a movie, going out to the club. But then things happen. Work gets in the way, or just emotional baggage comes and swoops you up and makes the whole thing change.

The harder you plan it seems, the more things seem to change the course. Sometimes it seems others have plans for you. They influence the direction your going and make for an abrupt turn of events. There are times that is fun, just go with it and let it happen. Other times it feels like things are just spinning out of control and your plans are just not happening the way you envisioned.

Of course those can just be the plans in your near future, jotted down on your calendar on your smartphone, scribbled on the calendar on your desk. But those longer term plans – kind of fuzzy? Kind of indefinite? Things you wish you could do someday or something you have imagined will be in your future?

Accepting change is as difficult as accepting the plan. Finding the goals to get where you want to be can be difficult. Not worrying about that forever tomorrow, but at least putting one foot in front of another and head out toward that point in the distance. “Let tomorrow take care of itself” is a spiritual path we can all count on on our journey. But aiming for the future is also what hope depends on, it is the picture that keeps us moving. No GPS can get us there, no Google map that will put a pin on the point of destination. But it is your inner compass that you have to look at. Head out. Make plans… know that in the course of things it will change but make sure you have a vision.

Yes, you have to work on your plan. If you want things to go your way you have to focus on working the plan. You are in control of your future. But don’t forget that there are as many deviations as there are straight lines. Change can be good. The core of what you want though, is you and the things written on your heart and soul. So just go now… make tracks while we have our time here on Earth. But make them count on your journey. Plan on it. Plan on change. Don’t be afraid of the change of course, and with the view from your heart, don’t worry about the final outcome. Trust yourself to do what is right on the long and winding road to the end.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Bad Plans, cherish, Emotional baggage, Eternity, Future, God, Plan, Reality Check, tracks in the dust

26 Apr 2012

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Relief and Recovery: Faith in Something Bigger

Just the other day someone asked me what I felt was my greatest accomplishment in life. I can tell you that I paused for a while and told them “it depends”. But in reality after some contemplation I believe the greatest accomplishment is that I have lived every day with something to live for. It takes little inspection to see so much pain and heartache around me. Of course there are always ways to make things better in our lives, and a lot of my past posts here were about ways i might be able to work on that, but there are too many ways that in the end it doesn’t happen.

It made me think of how things are all over the world, in places that most people in the USA wouldn’t be able to point to on a map- where there are people who struggle to survive to get clean drinking water or food that would just help them to get through another day. It is easy to see pictures or hear stories and feel inspired to make donations to help with relief. It makes us feel better about who we are, and being more fortunate we can help support others less fortunate. And they need it so badly there is never unwelcomed help.

But it seems that in fact most needs likely go beyond relief, it is about recovery that can build on that relief to help people recover physically and then even more important: spiritually. People may not realize the potential of lifelong spiritually if they are not able to fulfill their simple physical needs. But at that point we all need to have the sensibility to invest the time, to clear the way for others to make that to happen.

So not only for those in distant parts of the world, but for people who are around the corner or down the street from our homes. It is for many of us more fortunate souls that are able to accomplish the simplest things in life with confidence… we need to share it, to be partisans of faith and hope. Share the richness from the fundamental things we enjoy that need to be appreciated and shared. We need to be thankful and generous in sharing our relief and go on by providing recovery by being the messengers of the good news. It requires very little effort …just faith.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Faith, Grace, life is precious, Relief, Self-Awareness, Sprituality

24 Apr 2012

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The Scale of Accountability

Before I understood what accountability was about, when I was younger, I just didn’t get it. I always thought there was a chance for things to change for the better in my life without me doing anything. Certainly I could help things along myself, but there were reasons (I thought) that things were in my way and if I waited long enough, “go with the flow”… it would just evolve on its own.

There were other times that I would just not accept that what was happening when things didn’t go the way I had planned it –it was someone else or something else to blame. There always seemed to be other people and things in the way and I would just have to make do with the way it was. It was easy to feel helpless, or trapped.

But it isn’t easy to be accountable. It requires a lot of work. And grace: forgiveness, understanding, kindness, compassion, patience, acceptance of change while nurturing a “center” for your view of life. Honesty with oneself is on the list of the hardest things to do..

After I understood the scale of accountability it became something that I could apply to so much in life.

If I was lacking spirituality I could wait for it to find me, or I could find it. If I had problems with someone or something, I figured out that it was up to me to not blame others or wait for things to change. I had to work to acknowledge the situation and make changes. It doesn’t mean there can’t be feelings about things, or opinions… but it is something yet again to learn to be accountable to owning those feelings and opinions beyond just the emotion of it.

So I wonder sometimes…when I see people around me angered and frustrated with the situations they are in- often they are explaining them away as though they are “circumstantial” or must be blamed on other things around them. I wonder what their life is like day-to-day. Are they feeling like a victim; acting like a victim? There are so many of them out there. They seem to be lost because they don’t have a “center” in their lives, but they aren’t looking for one either. Often they surround themselves with more people who feel the way they do. They are unsure why they are stuck in a place they don’t want to be, but that is “the way it is” they’ll say…

So I tell my kids to be accountable to themselves, to the life they choose and to God. Be aware, take action when they need to make a difference in what is happening. Things will change. Life will take on a new meaning.

The Scale of Accountability: Where do you stand?

Accountable

Make It Happen – DO IT
Find Solutions – SOLVE IT
Own Responsibility – OWN IT
Acknowledge Situation – SEE IT

A Victim

Wait and Hope It Gets Better
Excuses-Reasons “I can’t”
Blaming Others
Unaware-Unconscious-Ignore

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Accountability, Blame, choices, Grace, Moral responsibility, Reality Check, Sprituality, Understanding, Victim blaming

19 Apr 2012

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The Value of Sharing

I have noticed lately that the value of the things in life seems to change as you get older. I remember as a much younger guy putting so much value on certain possessions in my life. Some of them I collected them up like a hoarder, thinking that if I had the biggest number or the most unique I was going to be more fortunate or recognized for it. Others sat in a drawer or a closet as treasures that would remind me of the past, or as something that signified a special moment in time that was only captured in the self-designated souvenir.

No doubt if others examined these things, most of the items would seem to have no significance to them at all. Many friends and family my age have shared the same experience; over time so ironically many of the things they have collected have become less significant. Memories fade, priorities change, the reason for having them becomes obsolete. Those collections of jewelry, record albums, magazines, books, clothing and the like… just don’t seem to be as important as they once were.

As I got older I began to understand that many of the major purchases I had accumulated over the years didn’t seem to be as valuable either. In some cases now, it has become more about function over the form of it. After all they say “you can’t take it with you”. I have begun to cherish the value of “time”, of nurturing relationships, sharing the virtues of living with those I love most- my wife, family and friends.

Sharing the good news of eternity while carrying out the mission we all have while we are here on Earth. That has more significance than the collection of possessions or souvenirs I could collect. Memories and experiences I was trying to capture in keepsakes aren’t as important as finding ways to share them with family & friends and those who may just want to know.

Perhaps that is why blogging and social networks are so popular these days. Like “posting” something to share can be so digitally permanent it can mean something more, in comparison to those collections of possessions that often only get dusty or spent with age.

Like tracks in the dust, over time our footprints will fade away- but the souls of the people we interact with in a positive way will help to carry-on long after we are gone. Corny yes- but..“The love you take is equal to the love you make”