Change | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Change”

22 May 2014

Empty Nest

Empty nesting time. It is a reality for almost all parents at one time or another. Notice I don’t say “all” parents because I can suppose that some 30-year-old adults are still living with their parents somewhere ( for good or bad).

Empty Nesters

My wife and I can recall some of those days when they were very young. We’d wish for them to be a bit older and provide us some quiet nights sleep and a bit less chasing them around to keep things out of their mouths.

As they grew older we started to realize there were just “different” levels of challenges. Dating, distractions, puberty, peer pressure that leads to all of the moments when you ask yourself ” is this really my child?” During their teens it was sometimes hard to distinguish how they would totally forget the lessons that we would have hoped the had learned in their “formative” years. But yes, they did forget. Often in some cases.

But mistakes will happen ( hopefully not catastrophic or life threatening… each which I have learned can be different) 🙂

We had one child who left abruptly when he turned 18, and didn’t look back. We didn’t really interact with him at all but after 12 years we have finally come to know him again thank fully.

It is hard to let go, but they all have to find their own course in life, and what you have taught them (and they retained) has to be good enough.

My advice to my kids ( if they read these now, or later) is to be centered in who you are spiritually, remember the fundamentals between right and wrong, it’s okay to make mistakes, its okay to be frustrated and angry with life- but you need to make something out of those pitfalls. Apply the lesson to what’s going on ahead in your life.

So here we are – with our empty nest. But honestly we have 4 great kids who we love more than anything, and they are out on their own making a “go” of it. We’ll embrace them the best way we know how. Yup, and here I am at tracks in the dust still trying to share advice. Guess we can all learn no matter how old we get. I am learning how to be an older parent.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged being remembered, Change, choices, Empty Nest, Empty Nesters, Growing up, leaving home, Letting Go, making mistakes, moments, Opinion, Reality Check, relationships

21 May 2014

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A Dog’s Life For Me

I grew up with cats. My mom had them since I was in elementary school and had one long after I left home. When my wife and I first met she had dogs in her family. Family dogs with a long history. After we got married apartment life and planned moving from town to town left “cats” as the only option. Decades and all the kids out of the house, we have finally become an “all dog” house.

The last family cat finally made it to its “next” of nine lives ( one of my sons thinks the best that maybe he came back as a porpoise or something).

So I am learning, dogs are great, they can be loyal and loving. They can be like taking care of little kids who will endlessly be toddlers at best. I get that now. My dog Jake has been part of our lives for almost a year of his two-year old mutt-life, he is probably not all that smart but very lovable.

My wife’s dog Eva has been her lifeline and is still mainly just “her” dog. She is only 4 but knows who she loves best, and gets the special treatment she feels she deserves from my wife everyday.

I am sure lifetime dog owners can provide all sorts of reasons for the goodness of dogs. Guess it took me decades to get to the point to learn.

I am not certain of all of the reasons, but hey- I got a goofy dog that seems to follow me around. and loves the attention. Brings us a bird or a bunny on occasion as his proud trophy. Never passes up a treat or some scratching on his tummy. That’s worth some joy everyday. Woof

That’s Jake on the left and Eva on the right.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, animals, Cats, Change, choices, Dogs, family pets, moments, Owning a dog, Owning a pet, pet companions, pets, Reality Check

16 May 2014

Reconnecting with Old Friends

There is something great about reconnecting with old friends. It helps to remind you of where you were. Even though you can’t go back in time and relive those days, it is nice to ground yourself once in a while. Good for the soul.

Wishing you can go back will be pretty hollow, but looking at that notch in time is a good way to evaluate your place in time- in the “now”.

There is certainly some remembrances of things you desire to forget. Those awkward times when life deals the blows that land bruises, loss of loved ones and painful experiences.

There are also things you wish you could put in a highlight reel, those things you were proud of – the accomplishments of goals and desires you have had over the years.

Then there are those very special remembrances with those genuine friends and family that if you could “bottle” the feelings of comfort and joy, you would open that bottle frequently and drink that in.

But change is going to happen. And some of your closest friends now may be just part of the future memories you may embrace.

Have you had those times when you’ d hope it would never end, but looking back later, it may have been the best thing? Disconnecting from people who ultimately create a negative influence can be hard to do. We may not even recognize that we are deep in the influence of friends who mean the best, but end up keeping things from happening in our lives.

So it is good to reconnect with old friends isn’t it?

Great for remembering who you were, the fabric of what you are now, and where things came to get you to today…. because still in the end there is “no day but today”.

Friends ( by Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then everything’s all right

It seems to me a crime that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Change, Changes, cherish, choices, Friends, life is precious, Memories, Reality Check, reconnecting, Remembering the past, Self-Awareness, Slow Down, Today, tracks in the dust, Who Are You, Yesterday

21 Apr 2014

Decisions Made, Lessons Learned

It has been a time for reflection for me this past week. Taking a moment and looking back I realize that time is unchangeable. What has happened before is there behind us, behind me. There isn’t anyway to erase it.

Wishing that we could go back and have a “redo” – make some major corrections to the past aren’t going to happen, Love those time travel movies that always seem to find a way to go back and make changes or correct things.

Fiction I know but still fun to watch I guess.

Question: So what would you go back and change. If there were one decision, one thing you said you could take back- what would it be?

I know that what happens in the future is a continuation of what happened in the past, and as long as we are alive we can do everything we can to learn from what we’ve done. We can take those lessons and apply them. Make them work to change the future (since in all reality the past is unchangeable).

Question: So what is one thing you have learned from the past that you would pass on to your loved ones in hope that they can also benefit from your wisdom?

All decisions lead to today, all lessons learned can be used for tomorrow.

I am looking for answers…. I wonder what you think?

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Bad Decisions, Change, choices, Learning Lessons, life is precious, Memories, mental-health, Postive Thinking, Reality Check

11 Apr 2014

In A New York Minute

In a split second, in the matter of a moment, a second, a minute or a day things can change.

It amazes me that in life’s adventure, during our mission here on Earth we are able to experience things in real time and see so many changes around us. I know some people resist change, and others welcome it. I can say that I expect it.

Sometimes the changes are long-coming, but more often it can be one shift in the status-quo for your life to take another direction. Some times it can be predicted, but we choose to ignore it. Other times it is just a total shift in things.

My wife and I are going to get a chance to meet my grandson, someone we have never met during his seven years on this Earth. Due to a long story of events our oldest son has been out of our lives for over eleven years. Now, in a New York minute – we are planning their visit to our home.

There is a story of the prodigal son in the Bible that rings true, but there are so many twists in our story. We are good with things really, it is good to have the opportunity to meet him. We don’t have any way to explain to him the time lost, or to have him understand the life we had with his father until he left home at age 18.

So we shall let things run the course they are headed. Change is good overall. It was quite a change back on the day our son left home. It will be another when we meet up with him and his son these many years later.

Comes to mind the Don Henley song. Here is a great cover of it. Life is short. Believe.