choices | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “choices”

20 Aug 2013

You Can Never Go Back

Lately I have found myself with the chance to visit with old friends I haven’t seen in ages. It has been an absolute joy. The echoes of the remembrances are fun to hear, and I have realized they have so much importance in who I am today.

But as much fun as it is to look at the past and enjoy the things that made that time special (although it didn’t always seem that special at the time), just can’t help thinking about the adage ” You can never go back”

That isn’t a bad thing, if you did go back in time knowing what you know now, it would certainly be different. If you went back to the present day friends and haunts from the past, it wouldn’t be the same either. Yes, it is okay to visit and capture those memories and have a chance to relive some of the experience. But in the long-run you will out stay your welcome – reality comes back and you would notice you are older (but hopefully wiser) – maybe a bit more jaded and less willing to accept the things that may not have bothered you in the past.

So as my wife and I have said to our kids often enough, be sure to be facing forward in your life, look for the next opportunity to grow in your life, spiritual growth, and all of the things that you can reach for.
Don’t forget who you are either, It is that past that brought you here. You cannot discard it like it didn’t happen, you lived it and it served you as well as it could. You made good decisions, experienced bad ones, had some luck and misfortune along the way.
Take nothing for granted, life is short and you need to wrap yourself in all of what it is- past, present and future. But you can’t ever go back and have it be the same,.. but the future is left to be written.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged being remembered, cherish, choices, Future, Looking Back, Memories, moments, Opinion, Remembering the past

12 Aug 2013

Casting Stones

In these days it seems like EVERYTHING allows for the opportunity to cast judgement. There are so many more ways that people can decide whether something is acceptable or not. And in a world where it seems everyone wants to be accepted, this can be crippling for many who are sensitive to the barrage of possible responses.

You cannot turn around without someone being critical of what you “meant” about something you may have said. Because things are forever text-ed into the www atmosphere, because we can twitter and post to our hearts content,…because the Internet allows everything to be put-out-there for all to see, and be reviewed over and over… it allows for scrutiny beyond anything I can recall in the past.

I mean, everyone has a camera in their pocket these days, and they can take still pictures or videos that can be interpreted out of context or maybe just show someone with their guard down. In turn that allows everyone to cast their judgement on it: Is it funny, insulting, weird, profound, lewd, frightening or whatever?

Many people seem to enjoy casting judgement on things in other peoples lives. Quick to make armchair criticisms and then provide a conditional response. There are “terms” to be settled after all… you must apologize for your behavior among friends since everyone else sees it. You must explain yourself. Make amends. Really?

In the end, past generations seem to have been less subject to public scrutiny, allowing them the courtesy of making a mistake among friends, to say something they later regretted and have a short list to apologize to… Like the Bible story, “casting the first stone” has taken new meaning. The speed of that “cast” is super fast and can allow hundreds, or thousands of others to virtually “pile on” in the process.

One consolation: It shows proof that as humans’ ……..NOBODY is perfect.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Casting Judgement, choices, Compassion, conditional response, Nobody is perfect, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Public Scrutiny, Reality Check, Regrets, Social Networking, Taking Responsibility, Twitter

23 Jul 2013

2 Comments

You Are The New Day

You Are the New Day.

You can make the difference every day.

One of my favorite songs (traditional) by a group I listened to often long ago.

Go out and make a difference and be involved in someone’s life. Don’t close yourself off to living. Life is short.

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged choices, Emotion, favorite songs, Happiness, Memories, Music, new day, Postive Thinking, Rock music, Self-Awareness

09 Jul 2013

The “Scale of Accountability” Again

Nearly every day something will trigger the Scale of Accountability. It keeps coming back to mind to me. I posted this last year, but it is something that has been great to keep a perspective on things on so many levels.

Often I see people around me angered and frustrated with the situations they are in- I hear them explaining things away as though they are “circumstantial” or must be blamed on other things around them. I wonder what their life is like day-to-day. Are they feeling like a victim; acting like a victim?

There are so many of those people who seem to appear in so many places in life. They seem to be lost because they don’t have a “center” in their lives, but they aren’t looking for one either. Often they surround themselves with more people who feel the way they do, which just makes it all the easier to stay in the place they are. They are unsure why they are stuck in a place they don’t want to be, but that is “the way it is” they’ll say…

So I ask my kids to be accountable to themselves and also to the life they choose and to God. Be aware, take action when they need to make a difference in what is happening. Things will change. Life will take on a new meaning.

The Scale of Accountability: What direction do you take?

Are You Accountable?

Make It Happen – DO IT
Find Solutions – SOLVE IT
Own Responsibility – OWN IT
Acknowledge Situation – SEE IT

Are You A Victim?

Wait and Hope It Gets Better
Excuses-Reasons “I can’t”
Blaming Others
Unaware-Unconscious-Ignore

Responsibility (thendley.wordpress.com)

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Accountability, Blame, choices, Doubt, Faith, Finding Fault, mental-health, Philosophy, Rationalization (making excuses), Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Taking Responsibility

08 Jul 2013

1 Comment

A “Dog Person” or a “Cat Person”

Having become a new owner of a dog for the first time ever in my life, I imagine there are a lot of people who will say “what took you so long?”

For most of my life from early on there were cats in my home. My mother was a “cat person” and we had several cats over my childhood, mostly they were my mom’s (one in particular was certainly hers alone) but I liked them (except for that “one”). It was something I became accustomed to. My dad hated them really. He saw no use for a cat. Once he figured out that one of the cats we had didn’t like the sound of the food blender, he spent a period of time with the base of it plugged in next to his favorite chair, and if the cat came near he would switch it on.

After my wife and I got married, we lived in small apartments where a dog was not very practical. At one point when we finally decided on a cat, we found out that it was not allowed in our apartment area and it factored into a decision to move.

So then…many cats later (and 4 kids)…my wife finally got her dog (did I mention she grew up with dogs?). So she became a dog-owner several years ago, and the dog was perfect for her. Just what she’d always wanted, but for some reason or another we never had gotten to having a dog in our family before.

The last cat I had was a big grey Russian-Blue type of cat, with a bit of tabby in him I am sure. What some may have called a “barn cat” I suppose. He would greet me at the door, follow me around, come hop up on my lap at the end of the day and sit next to my chair when I would be working at the computer. He will always be “my cat.”

Now a DOG. Just a mutt. But a dog that I will call mine. It’s part Border Collie/part Australian Shepard, part goofy. I am told that a mutt owner needs to know the suspected “parts”. I know I am not prepared for the higher maintenance of a dog but everyone says you get used to it. The walking, the cleaning up afterward. He was adopted from a dog pound. Saved one from the possible sad early ending of so many dogs that get neglected or rejected in their lives and end up there.

I know… I know…. There are “cat people” and there are “dog people”. I am trying to convert. Hoping he can teach me ( the old dog) some new tricks. A dog person. Yup. Working on it. Likely a life changer right?