life is precious | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “life is precious”

10 Jul 2012

What Will Other People Think?

Growing up, I remember my adolescent days of wanting to be part of the “in group” – the group that was leading the trends, the people who were at the front of the room in school and popular. I thought if I pleased everyone, I too could be accepted into the popular groups. At that time it seemed like I was always preoccupied with the idea of what other people were thinking.

One of the things I have noticed lately is that even as we all grow up, what others think appears to be many adults preoccupation. So many of the professional people around me seem to want acceptance of others beyond all else. Even in my family there have been struggles over the years on being “people pleasing”. It causes them to twist and turn their lives into places that aren’t really who they genuinely are.

When you constantly worry about what other people think, you can easily get caught in an emotional trap. In reality, you don’t have to please everybody any more than your ability to please everybody allows. It’s that false sense of panic to think that in order to be happy, you must be loved and validated by everyone you meet. Inside you know it’s just not how it works, but you do it anyway.

If you feel controlled or manipulated, its likely that you’re allowing yourself to be controlled or manipulated. It’s good to stand up for what’s right, but no one can pressure you unless you allow them to. Perhaps you don’t see it, or you ignore it, but it can happen easily. Inside your head you want acceptance, and you may be willing to color things to feel like you are not being controlled, but it can happen anyway.

It’s OK to be strong and center yourself on who you really are. How often do we fool ourselves to think it is more spiritual centered to just be quiet and put up with it all. But God doesn’t expect you to be run over by everyone you meet, you are made to be strong and be yourself.

How often are there missed opportunities in our lives that we let pass by? Do we find ourselves burying our talents, our sensibility and throwing them aside in order to please others, to be accepted. Then ironically, we get angry at our circumstances and allow even more control to be sacrificed to others for the sake of being accepted. We wonder how we got where we are.

In the end, it’s good to be ourselves, let the “people pleasing” efforts come out as a result of being ourselves. Don’t let it rule your life. We can allow our spiritual life to guide us to the relationships that are around us, and we will be accepted. Centering yourself on being who you are and not what others want you to be. You will find your goals will change and what you want out of life will be refreshing and personal. You know what other people will think?… won’t you?

26 Jun 2012

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The Seasons and The Hot Summer Day

When I was growing up in the northern mid-west of the US, we always looked forward to the seasons. Each one of them brought a change in attitude, and every season signified something special in some way. I recall as a child I thinking of summer to be those warm days where some days were really hot and the bright sun that you would feel on your skin would be the fuel for a days worth of playing, like sunshine was energy. There would be humid days where everyone would comment “it’s not the heat that’s bad, it’s the humidity”. That too would pass as one of those huge storms would conger up the bursts of thunder and lighting, but also bring the breath of fresh air after the storms. Refreshing you like magic, with cool air the likes of something you hadn’t sucked into your lungs in some time.

Then there was fall. Autumn. Colors of the trees, the crisp night air and the smell of burning leaves. Some days would be wet and the trees and leaves would smell musty. There would be that day when it would rain a cold rain, a hard rain that would put shivers down your neck if you were out in it. By the next day all the leaves would be almost all gone, and the sky would turn a defiantly grey tone letting everyone know winter was knocking.

Oh those winters. In northern states, they could be brutal. Cold on top of cold, ice coated with ice. Cars not starting, cold winds shuddering the outside walls of my home. There would be days where it was so cold a deep breath would hurt and you would know it was time to get from one place to another and not stand out in it. There would be snow, but on those cold days it would crunch like styrofoam under your boots. Almost squeaking with the reminder that you better walk briskly but be mindful of the ice patches underneath. THere were even those lovely “snow days” where schools would be closed, work places too. The snow was so high and thick you weren’t going anywhere and everyone else was in the same place as you. Watching out the window for a break so you could start to shovel out.. peaceful, but cautious we would enjoy the day that nature provided a break.

Spring would start the cycle again. the newness of the grass before the first cut. The trees not exactly full of leaves, but running sap and getting ready for the warm days ahead. Fresh spring rains. Life showing up again in the backyard. Squirrels, birds and bugs. All the time knowing summer was on the other side of all of those spring showers.

So I do miss the seasons. Living in Northern Texas now, it seems like the Texas summers are like those cold winter days in the north. I escape in doors from the heat (104 degrees Fahrenheit today) that will hang around for weeks (maybe months). But I know that in the fall we can lounge in the yard, take long walks in the park. In the winter we can put on a light jacket and say “my how cold it is today” when freezing temps aren’t even in the forecast. All the while others in the north, they will be getting ready for their cold days and icy challenges, pulling out the boots and heavy coats.

I can handle the southern heat knowing that is coming. But there are days when I truly miss the changing seasons. This hot summer day is one of them.

Posted in Before and After Things Change, Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Change, Joy, Life, life is precious, Memories, moments, North Texas, Sprituality, Weather

24 Jun 2012

Don’t Worry Your Life Away

Worry. There’s one thing that seems to be able to consume so much of your life in so many ways that it can become such a fixation that little else matters. Whether it involves work, your family, your friends, your health, your finances, what others think of you, what you will do today or tomorrow… and on and on.

It’s not that you can’t be concerned, that you cannot plan things and be careful to manuever those things that can get in your way. We all have to go through our lives with eyes wide open and watch for the obstacles we can avoid. But taking “worry” to a point in your life that it stops you from experiencing what God has given you is just not a good course to take.

When my wife and I had our first child, every thing had changed about worry. We would worry did he have enough to eat, enough sleep, were we paying enough attention to him? If he would sneeze we would imagine the worse and always be consulting books or family and friends.

Over the years we have learned that there are only some things we can do as parents, and we have to be concerned about our children (we love them), but we are going to leave it up to God as well. We have to plant the core-things in them that they need to make it through life, but in the end we cannot be standing next to them every step of the way.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I know that it was something that would need God’s help. My wife has been there to help me through. Even as she has been my angel (because I believe God sent her to me so many years ago), I know that some of it is built on faith to take it one day at a time. Worry could easily consume every minute of every day.

Worry will make you older faster, it can replace the good things in front of you with an awkward view and dangerous perspective. It can consume so much of your life and in exchange repel others around you. So the end it seems, life is the experience and all that goes with it.

As Jason Mraz says below in a song about his friend who fought cancer, “The remedy is the experience.” Don’t let it control your life. Be strong.

The Remedy by Jason Mraz

Well i saw fireworks from the freeway
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
‘Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring
Now something on the surface it stings
I said something on the surface
Well it kind of makes me nervous
Who says that you deserve this
And what kind of god would serve this?
We will cure this dirty old disease
Well if you’ve got the poison I’ve got the remedy

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it’s serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won’t worry my life away.
I won’t worry my life away.

Well i heard two men talking on the radio
In a cross fire kind of reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
They were counting down the ways to stab
The brother in the be right back after this
The unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh
Death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophe
Dance with me, because if you’ve got the poison,
I’ve got the remedy

I won’t worry my life away.
I won’t worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There’s no need to hurry when I’m making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I’m still gonna shine and I’ll tell you why

Because

I won’t worry my life away
I won’t worry my life away
I won’t and I won’t and I won’t

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Mathew 6:34

Posted in Before and After Things Change, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, Faith, Health, jason-mraz, Life, life is precious, one day at a time, Postive Thinking, remedy, Slow Down, Sprituality, Worry, Worry

22 Jun 2012

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Being Authentic

I have always hoped that my kids would grow up understanding the importance of being “authentic”. I think that is a word that may have many meanings to depending on your perspective; genuine, not fake or false, an original/not a copy, something has significance perhaps. Authentic shouldn’t be confused with “original” though, since we all are original, no two exactly alike. We are all God’s people because of that difference.

But to me, people who are authentic have conviction to be who they are because they are aware of themselves. Sure, over the years of growing up and even in adulthood we continue to try to emulate others; like our heroes, our parents, our mentors in living and faith, even our closest and dearest friends and lovers. And we should. Like I said in a previous post, I think we are a mosaic of all the people we have had contact with that have influenced us (good or bad). But we get to decide in the final pass what that means. It is our internal psyche that is going to accept or deny the picture of who we are.

But really didn’t want to take scientific route, I am just expecting my children to continue to be authentic. Be aware of others around them, who they are and what might have brought those people to that moment in time to intersect with our lives. But be genuine then. Be right with yourself. I laugh as I remember when they were growing up how they would desperately need to wear clothes and have their hair like their favorite rock stars. They would wear the latest anti-fashions, say words they could only have heard from other places. They would call others “posers”, when in fact they were themselves. But as they got older things changed outwardly, and hair and clothes changed with them. But always as parents we always asked them to remain true to themselves.

So I keep thinking “be authentic”. Start by being real, start by not lying to yourself about things in your life and how you treat others. Start by depending on your spiritual compass to make positive decisions. Kind of like the accountability scale I posted a while back, you have to be able to admit your mistakes, own your own situation. Then treat others that way. The adage “do onto others…” I think means being genuine to yourself first, and then to the people around you. No matter if those people are only a moment in your life as you travel through it, or family, or intended to be a lifelong dear friends… treat them authentically.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Change, Definitions, friends and lovers, life is precious, Opinion, Reality Check, relationships, Religion and Spirituality, Self-Awareness, Truth, Who Are You

15 Jun 2012

Hit the Reset Button!

Go ahead. Push the reset button. It may be hard to find, your own personal reset may be in a complicated place in your mind. It may be in a complex set of your own personal wiring that will be hard to find. But go ahead. Do it.

A while back my wife and I spent some time with some friends in this cabin in Oklahoma (pictured here) and just kind of stopped the pattern we had all been following for so many months before. Like taking a deep breath and exhaling back out, just some times you have to stop. It was so needed we didn’t even recognise it until we were there.

Sit back in that quiet cabin in the woods, or take a bit of time to stroll through the park, or sit on the steps outside of where you live. Watch the world go by, because it doesn’t stop just because you did. But you have to be good with it anyway. You aren’t really missing anything that can’t wait for you to hit that “reset” button.

Just like when your computer gets so bogged down, or your wireless network stops transmitting the way you expect. You can hit the button and hope for the best. Let it all out. I know that we can, but then I know that often I wont. Keep insisting that I’d better plow forward with the “to do” list, to get those things done that have made me the “pro”-crastinator ( not an amateur believe me). Oh that reward of a feeling of accomplishment… feels good. So in this case, the accomplishment: Hit the button. Reset. It will still all be there to sort out. But maybe it will be much clearer than it was before…

Where ever it is, however you get there. Just take that time to make it yours and make sure that you clear the cache memory (for you geeks out there – you’ll get it). Then you can move on… it’s your time.