Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Love”

16 May 2012
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The Parallel Lines of A Relationship

Some times life and the relationship with my life partner run parallel, other times they constantly seem to intersect.

 

Like two lines we are running along the path together, sometimes we are running next to each other on separate paths – close or distant but along the same direction. Other times we intersect – often make connections on many levels, physically, mentally, reflecting on life’s observations, agreeing on the trials and frustrations of the world around us.

 

Sometimes those lines are exactly on top of each other. Other times they are spiraling around like diving birds on the summer wind. But parallel or intersections, we continue to move on together.

 

Once in a while one of us needs to catch up, other times one of us will get far ahead. But ever heading forward, like 2 lines on a piece of paper drawing lines that move ahead in time. Sometimes opposites, but then they say that “opposites attract”. There it will be again: an intersection.


Parallel lines may mean some days we just aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on things. We may be so far away from each other that we ask “where have you been”? Other days we are intersecting with a rhythm of love, sex, and emotion. We love the sharing, we love the intersection.  Yet there are days thankfully that we are running apart, those busy times when we are both trying to grasp our own place on the line. Hold on to the path and forward the course of our time on this Earth.

 

Thank goodness that we are not always on the same line, I think we would struggle to not be ourselves. But just as thankful are those valuable times when the intersection is glorious, beautiful, what memories are built on… before the line continues again off on the plane of life. It is all good. Spirals up and spirals down, straight ahead and weaving back and forward with each other.

 

Relationships run like parallel lines that still may often intersect, and sometimes run together or farther apart. Live the line, follow the tracks. Don’t give up when the lines seem to never intersect, work harder to find the ways to make sure they do. Just don’t expect them to constantly be connected.

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14 May 2012
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Your Love Story

My wife will tell you I am a sucker for a love story. Old movies in particular always showed up in my life since I was a kid. I used to watch the classics and the not so classic black and white movies from the 30s and 40’s every afternoon after I got home from school.  Not very masculine I know…but the “arts” have been my life since I was a kid so it just stuck.

Even as I got older I kept watching. Compact 2 hours or less of a story about a man and woman in love, out of love, after someone else, coming back to the one they loved from the start. Sometimes they were musicals, sometimes dramas, some where what they call “rom-coms” these days, romantic comedies. They weren’t all good, some where predictable, sugary sweet, silly plots with little to do than filling up the time it took to watch it.  

Yet some were works of art, with famous people like Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable. So many names that mean very little now to the young movie goers today. Yet as I grew older I remember falling in deep love with Ali McGraw in Love Story. Just because she dies at the end it made it all that harder to wonder what things would be like with someone like her. 

The saying “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” became famous as the book and movie.  The romantic notion that life is like a movie wasn’t passed on me. But I knew better. Life is more than that compact couple of hours. It has more ups and downs, and may not have those fateful meet-cute scenes where the star meets the starlet and they fall in/out/in love. And those silly mis-understandings that make up so many of the middle parts of the plot with that secret that the viewers know; and eventually the love interest will know and make for the happy ending. Or the sad one.

Love is more than that in the movies, it takes commitment beyond the final reel where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meet at the top of Empire State or in the park with Barkley (references you may not know if you don’t like these kind of movies).  I have learned that- but then I always knew that even back when I was in grade-school watching those classics.  It takes an effort to be in love, give and take, some good days and some bad. Creating memories and making plans. God willing you get enough time in your life to capture it and spend it wisely.  Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. Some people say that it us all part of your own life’s movie, others are not so oblique- they don’t see it that way at all.

In the end, love means what ever you need it to. Not everyone ends up with the “girl” or Mr Right. But love does conquer all…well sometimes. And it can move mountains…maybe just not the mountain you want moved. You may meet the person of your dreams, or you may dream about the person you meet. The real Love Story’s are ours to make. Get out there and make them.

What is your favorite love story? Book or movie? The one that captures it for you.  You have one? – share.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
19 Apr 2012
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The Value of Sharing

I have noticed lately that the value of the things in life seems to change as you get older. I remember as a much younger guy putting so much value on certain possessions in my life. Some of them I collected them up like a hoarder, thinking that if I had the biggest number or the most unique I was going to be more fortunate or recognized for it. Others sat in a drawer or a closet as treasures that would remind me of the past, or as something that signified a special moment in time that was only captured in the self-designated souvenir.

No doubt if others examined these things, most of the items would seem to have no significance to them at all.  Many friends and family my age have shared the same experience; over time so ironically many of the things they have collected have become less significant. Memories fade, priorities change, the reason for having them becomes obsolete. Those collections of jewelry, record albums, magazines, books, clothing and the like… just don’t seem to be as important as they once were.   

As I got older I began to understand that many of the major purchases I had accumulated over the years didn’t seem to be as valuable either. In some cases now, it has become more about function over the form of it. After all they say “you can’t take it with you”.  I have begun to cherish the value of “time”, of nurturing relationships, sharing the virtues of living with those I love most- my wife, family and friends.

Sharing the good news of eternity while carrying out the mission we all have while we are here on Earth. That has more significance than the collection of possessions or souvenirs I could collect.  Memories and experiences I was trying to capture in keepsakes aren’t as important as finding ways to share them with family & friends and those who may just want to know.

Perhaps that is why blogging and social networks are so popular these days. Like “posting” something to share can be so digitally permanent it can mean something more, in comparison to those collections of possessions that often only get dusty or spent with age.

Like tracks in the dust, over time our footprints will fade away- but the souls of the people we interact with in a positive way will help to carry-on long after we are gone. Corny yes- but..“The love you take is equal to the love you make”

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12 Apr 2012
5 Comments

No Day But Today

There are times when I ask myself “How did I get here?”  I don’t mean I have been unconscious and I woke up out of a daze or something. I know I have been moving along day to day, living the life I have lived and counting the days on the calendar.

But when I stop to think about it I realize that there were many, many days that I had wished would come to an end as quickly as it could… You know, those days when it all comes down on you and you think it can’t get worse?  At the end, you sigh the sigh of relief, hopefully lying in bed and wondering if you close your eyes will it go away (there are some I remember did not finish in my bed, but were in some very odd places I shudder to remember).

Still when the day is finished, look for the next day  to improve. Of course there are always those days that start out looking like they are going to be “one of those days”.  You know them…Issues at work, family conflicts, tests of patience or memory or physical stamina.  Even in my younger days I knew that they would be around from time to time. But I hoped that they would be far between, and would be interspersed with some really brilliant and wonderful days. And of course they would be.

They stand out in life, those days that are the “best days of your life”. Things that happen in it seem to feel like miracles. Birth of children or like reaching a milestone: finishing school or achieving and being recognized for the challenge. These can be those times when you reflect back on your “firsts” and realize that it there will only be seconds and thereafter and capture those precious days forever in your memories. You find that you relive them again with your friends and family in remembrance. Many times you may not even have a physical picture of it, but the pictures remain clear in your head. 

But between the days of “need to be over” and “wish it would never end” are mainly the abundance of days we live. And even then, they may be focused on the coming weekend or looking forward to special events or anniversaries with special people. 

My advice to my children. Don’t wish them over, don’t take the day for granted or keep hoping for a better day some other day. Cherish the day you have. Thank God for it. Stop and take it in. Put the ingredients in it to make it be a day you can appreciate. Apply kindness, patience, grace, compassion, love. You won’t get another day that is identical; each day will be unique an non-repeatable. And you don’t have any guarantees that the next day will come with you in it at all. So please don’t wish them away.

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10 Apr 2012
6 Comments

The Condition of Love

At this time of the year, being spring ( in the US anyway) and also Easter, the subject of love comes up often it seems in blogs, and around my home. More often than not the discussion of love lands on the idea of what true love means. It is interesting the amount of opinions this topic will surface, especially when it seems almost all of us are striving to find it in their lives. Maybe we are wanting to embrace it because we recognise it and value it so much, or we want to work hard to define it because we are unsure that what we have is truly love.

One of my fellow bloggers  recently blogged: 

Greek has three words to describe love. There is Eros, meaning a love founded on craving and desire. Such is love for specific food, activities, and other things. Second is Filia, meaning love in the context of interdependence (in a family or a community), where it is highly focused on “give and take”. Examples are: I love my family, I love my boyfriend, I love my best friend. Third is Agape, meaning the total self giving kind of love, the highest form of loving, where nothing is asked of return and self-sacrifice is of prime importance.  Thank you Aix for your post! http://aixwrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/do-you-love-me/

We all seem to be searching for the Agape-type of love in our lives, unconditional and pure. But because we are human we most always will fall short.  Statements that start with “I love you…” and add the words “until” or “except when you…” or worse, the next words are “but”… or… “however” – always seem to be tied to a list of conditions. In the end it appear it’s the most “human” kind of love. Sure, erotic love like lust/desire can create a spark- it can even be interpreted as the kind of love that is give/take. In fact it seems like in today’s world Eros-type of love often gets identified as a more sincere type of love.

But how many of us can say we have experienced that Agape love in our lives? The totally unconditional love that has no ties or conditions. How do we ever attain that love in our lives? As soon as we “expect” it we have already provided a condition. When we attempt to provide it, there always seem to be boundaries to contain it.  Love of and for my children and my wife comes closer than I know toward that unconditional love.  Close family, relatives and dearest of friends can come close.

So as we search for the verb “to love” as unconditional one, we may fall short. In fact there is only One in the history of the world that I know of that provided the level of love that we all strive for. And for that, I am grateful.   So I ask my children, as they are looking for perfection in love, as they attempt perfection with their love – do it as purely as they can. Make each day count and each condition be one that reflects the goodness of love in its purest form.

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