Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Slow Down”

The Lost Art of Listening

Listening UpIn my daily life at work and at home I have noticed a trend about “listening” .

It seems like a lot of people today have lost the art of listening.

Yes, we all listen to things. The TV, the movies, the music we listen to… we listen to our teachers.mentors, bosses, or spiritual guides and take note of their wisdom (many times to our own chagrin as we find it necessary to help pass the course).  But listening and hearing things can often be different I think.

The lost art of listening, as I see it, is the motion of listening to what someone says and understanding it. Making sure to understand the meaning and the context in which they say it, and better yet understand their personal reason and viewpoint for saying it in the first place.

These days it seems like we don’t take the time. Perhaps it is because we are in so much of a hurry. We move so quickly through our digital lives to meet the goal of accomplishing it – that we often miss what people are really trying to say… in fact we are so busy trying to think about what  we should say next, that we take a sound byte from something to start to respond without really “hearing” what was said. Without acknowledging it.

Perhaps the reason that “texting” has become more of a popular way to communicate. After its a 2 way communication  that requires that each actually reads the statement made in the text message. No need to call and have two way communication that  may certainly require listening.

Sure, maybe the texts aren’t spelled correctly, perhaps they are sound-bytes themselves, but at least they come over just as planned.  Indeed texting doesn’t require actually listening at all.  But there is still something lost in the transfer. The persons inflection and the world of meaning that comes with the tone of it. Of course there is time to consider the response, immediate responses come from the volley of discussion. None needed in texting.

Listening has evolved in so many other ways. In this “surround sound” world we are looking for the thrills and impact of the movies we watch. Instead of dialog, we are looking for stunning sound and special effects.  Driving the beat instead of the message is nothing new, but so often today the music gets lost as we are looking for. It gets lost in the next pop-star to come along. Those artist & musicians that have survived had something more to say… and for those music greats  it is about the “listening”.

So maybe for me, its time to stop and take a listen. To appreciate what people are trying to say with their words. The meaning of it. To take the time to listen to the sounds around me, that surround me in such a much more simple way.  How about you?

Being Significant

Just watching the recap of the Felix Baumgartner who just successfully landed after free-falling 24 miles down to the ground. It is pretty significant achievement. It really makes me think about what could be something significant I should be planning in my life.

But then I realize that not everyone is going to have the opportunity to do something hugely significant and record-breaking in their lives. I mean for many (most?) of us, life is an everyday thing that has highs and lows, good days and bad, easy days and hard days. The measure of a lot of what we are is contained in a small span of our version of 24 hours.

Not copping out I think, there are plenty of inspirational books and successful people who make videos about going for the golden ring. It’s not impossible. And I am not saying that we all shouldn’t focus on the prize. But we also have opportunities much closer to home. We all possess ways to be significant to others. To our family, friends and the people we meet every day. Sometimes that significance may not be obvious to you, other times to them. At least not at the time. It may not be complicated, or produce a some profound moment.

It feels like its more about sharing what you can offer with others, paving the way for the “possible’ – for some one who in turn may create new horizons for the future, or just pay it forward to someone who will begin a whole new direction in their lives.   However subtle or small it may seem. Each of us are unique. We are significant in our own way. We don’t necessarily have to perform a world record free fall, or climb the highest mountain.

What you do could cause a chain reaction of other things to happen and you may never know it. You may see it later. You may not.  The start of it all is to understand that God made each of us to be unique, and to make a difference in our lives for others.  Take the opportunity to be significant.

Life Can Be Like A Wheel

“Some people say life’s like a merry-go-round
I think it’s more like a ferris wheel
‘Cause sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down
Sometimes you just don’t know what to feel”  (Todd Rundgren)

It is just the way it seem to be. When you ride life’s wheel you have to be ready for the motions that make up the turns. You have to be prepared to know that there will be downs before ups, and know that the ups may not just be the opposite of the downward ride. It may be a whole new place to rise the height of the wheel.

Part of the trip ahead is the anticipation as things start to change. Not worth resistance it is the place you should enjoy as the wheel turns. When you see it heading down you can do things to help turn it faster the other way. On the other hand, when it is turning up you may not be able to slow it down, or it may take more time to get to the top.

“We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.”
– James Freeman Clarke

Sometimes hearing the expression “just roll with it” reminds me of that. Making sure to roll with the changes, move with the day as God provided to us. Do the most with it, because how we spend each day is how we spend our lives.

“What Are People Thinking?”

Today a very wise man was talking about how often we get frustrated throughout our day because we are always wondering “What are people are thinking?”

What are they thinking when they are standing in the 15 item express line when they obviously have 20+ items in their cart?

What are they thinking when they pull out into traffic so quickly right in front of you and then drive 15 miles under the speed limit?

What could they possibly be thinking when they are standing in the middle of a public place and talk on their smartphone loudly and then stare at you when you stop and look at them?

What are they thinking when they drive with their head down because they are paying attention to their mobile phone and texting? (they need to be stopped!)

What the heck are they thinking when they stand in the middle of the public shopping mall and sneeze across the masses of people around them?

Sure in the end it is the small stuff. And like the saying goes “don’t sweat it”. Being preoccupied with life’s irritations will get you stuck in the muck and mire of frustration. Okay you could stop and say something to the people who are irritating you and they would likely wonder who they heck YOU think you are… We may not be able to influence a random stranger on the street. If the chance were there perhaps it could?

So the center of focus is to look for positive opportunities, and the time is now. Let the Spiritual focus fill in those blanks. Understand that you should enjoy the moment and know that it is YOURS to own. You can do with your moment what you will. When so much of humankind around the world are just wondering where their next bite of food or fresh water or shelter will come from, how can we let these things be our focus?

Stay positive. Stay focused on the tracks you are making right now. They are yours.

Don’t Worry Your Life Away

Worry. There’s one thing that seems to be able to consume so much of your life in so many ways that it can become such a fixation that little else matters. Whether it involves work, your family, your friends, your health, your finances, what others think of you, what you will do today or tomorrow… and on and on.

It’s not that you can’t be concerned, that you cannot plan things and be careful to manuever those things that can get in your way. We all have to go through our lives with eyes wide open and watch for the obstacles we can avoid. But taking “worry” to a point in your life that it stops you from experiencing what God has given you is just not a good course to take.

When my wife and I had our first child, every thing  had changed about worry. We would worry did he have enough to eat, enough sleep, were we paying enough attention to him? If he would sneeze we would imagine the worse and always be consulting books or family and friends.

Over the years we have learned that there are only some things we can do as parents, and we have to be concerned about our children (we love them), but we are going to leave it up to God as well. We have to plant the core-things in them that they need to make it through life, but in the end we cannot be standing next to them every step of the way.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I know that it was something that would need God’s help. My wife has been there to help me through. Even as she has been my angel (because I believe God sent her to me so many years ago), I know that some of it is built on faith to take it one day at a time. Worry could easily consume every minute of every day.

Worry will make you older faster, it can replace the good things in front of you with an awkward view and dangerous perspective. It can consume so much of your life and in exchange repel others around you. So the end it seems, life is the experience and all that goes with it.

As Jason Mraz says below in a song about his friend who fought cancer, “The remedy is the experience.” Don’t let it control your life. Be strong.

The Remedy by Jason Mraz

Well i saw fireworks from the freeway
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
‘Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring
Now something on the surface it stings
I said something on the surface
Well it kind of makes me nervous
Who says that you deserve this
And what kind of god would serve this?
We will cure this dirty old disease
Well if you’ve got the poison I’ve got the remedy

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it’s serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won’t worry my life away.
I won’t worry my life away.

Well i heard two men talking on the radio
In a cross fire kind of reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
They were counting down the ways to stab
The brother in the be right back after this
The unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh
Death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophe
Dance with me, because if you’ve got the poison,
I’ve got the remedy

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it’s serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won’t worry my life away.
I won’t worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There’s no need to hurry when I’m making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I’m still gonna shine and I’ll tell you why

Because

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it’s serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won’t worry my life away
I won’t worry my life away
I won’t and I won’t and I won’t

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  Mathew 6:34

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