Sprituality | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Sprituality”

20 Sep 2012

What Other People Think Of You

I have always struggled thinking about with what other people thought of me. Acceptance was so often a guideposts for things I would do, for the plans I would make. There was a time when I turned a corner. Maybe it was part of my Lutheran upbringing or later on in life my cancer diagnosis, but I finally realised it had to change.

When you worry about what other people think, you let them control who you are. You waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want you to be. Maybe they want it selfishly, maybe innocently they want you reflect themselves on you? You don’t even realise it – but all of a sudden you find yourself wasting a lot of time and energy trying to become like something you believe people want you to be, rather than just being what God made you to be.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because it leaves us extra sensitive to criticism. It means we may not do the right thing for ourselves but instead, we do the things that other people want us to do. And what everybody wants to do is often the opposite of the compass inside of us. Then when we feel that friction we are even more irritated with our life around us.

You cannot please everybody. There are so many opinions about so many things today, no one is going to always be pleased with you. People pray for things – some for one thing, some for another. Only a fool would try to do what even God can’t do. You can’t please everybody.

You don’t have to please everybody. So many people try to believe that in order to be happy you must be loved and gain approval by every one else. You know that deep in your heart you don’t have to, but somehow there is always that chance that it seeps back in.

Rejection will not ruin your life. It can be painful, you may even remember it and feel its imprint on you later. But it is not the end of things. In fact later it may look like the beginning of something else.

So I quit trying to please everybody years ago. It became obvious that no one can make me feel inferior unless I let them… It starts by beginning to understand that it can be your choice.

10 Sep 2012

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Reliving the Past

Our pasts are so precious. After all every moment we have lived up to this second is what makes us who we are right now. We have our memories to cherish, we have our experiences to formulate our opinions and shape are personalities. There are plenty of minutes in our lives where not a thing has happened except that we have taken another breath, which we can certainly be thankful for.

We should be proud of who we are- if we can count our accomplishments in a way that has helped others, or we have helped to make shape so many people around us by simple things we may have said or done. In other cases we may have profoundly changed so many lives of those who have since moved on to other circles of friends. But we left our mark on them, we may have ever so slightly changed their course, or perhaps made great changes. But there we were in that past.

But there is one thing that seems to be very true about our pasts, yet so many try to defy it. We cannot relive our past. We can recall it, we may even be able to reenact it in some way. But the ever-changing world does not allow us to go back and relive it just the way it was. Even though some of those moments were profound for you. The birth of your children, the first meeting of a love of your life, the simple victories and celebrations of life, sharing thoughts and philosophies with friends that ultimately indelibly put a new spin on your existence. Or perhaps just that simple clear day where the sky is blue, the sun is shining and you can take a deep breath… Or that day that you made a regrettable mistake that you would rather have not, and would do anything to change it now.

But you cannot go back, just like you cannot predict the future an( see my previous blog). You have to appreciate it, but cannot wallow in it. There is really only the here and now. You have to appreciate the here and now. The moment. And every one after it for as long as you are allowed. A while back I had posted “No Day But Today”. There is only that- only this moment until the next.

So don’t spend your time wishing the past back, it cannot be done. You should not forget it. You should not dismiss it. You cannot relive it.

So now what? What can you do?…. Be the person you have become… through this journey, take the next steps in whatever adventure life allows you ( and then more) and make the day count for something positive, in your life it could be the most significant day ever- but then in some ways they all are.

RELATED POSTS

Predicting the Future

No Day But Today

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged being remembered, choices, Faith, life is precious, Memories, moments, Postive Thinking, Sprituality, the future, the past, Who Are You

30 Aug 2012

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Lost in the Extremes

Take some time and breathe deeply. Concentrate on the environment around you and make sure to take in the environment around you. Center yourself.

Lately I have been around many people that are struggling with the extremes in their daily life, their perspectives seem to take on as far south and as far north as life’s compass will allow. It amazes me that they suffer through it and fight the urge to not listen to anyone who dissents to their view.

People are willing stand up for what they believe. And that is a fundamental thing about humankind, about our need to be grounded to our faith, love and core values. But there is also room on other levels for understanding. Room to know that although we should be on common ground on our spiritual plane, we can allow ourselves the benefit of the doubt on other things. That there could be more than just one way to look at things.

In this election year in the US for example, people are choosing extremes. There is a requirement for each of us apparently to fall on one side of the line or the other. Over time the center line has moved, and so it is not centered evenly. Because of that we make heroes out of the people who say what we want them to say. So many ways it leads to hate and lies, to bigotry and deceit, to manipulation of the truth to suit ones view-point. Sadly it is the fuel that may divide the country even more.

Another example is how often people wallow in their emotions and refuse to change their attitudes or frame of reference. Like a badge they continue to carry their sadness, anger or bitterness along with them every where they go. They want to deposit more of it rather than change, and struggle to understand why others don’t feel the way they do.

I think we cannot be ruled by the extremes, we need to open our minds to the possibilities that there are other paths to take. For many seem to be lost in the daily routines, the weekly demands of life. And it would appear that for many of them they have no spiritual center, so they seem to also lack and emotional center. They feel out of control – so the way to reach a feeling of control is to embrace the extremes with definite lines that cannot be personally crossed. They are lost in those places which are a struggle to return from – that require self-examination and resolve. The willingness for that needs the spiritual center. So on it goes.

Lost in the extremes.

From KnowtheSphere great observation about things related

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, Anger, Doubt, Faith, Fear, Grace, Politics, Postive Thinking, Sadness, Sprituality, Who Are You

21 Aug 2012

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Dreaming of Magic Again

Some times it seems almost hard to believe. I am not really good at remembering dreams. I wake up and I can recall a dream for about 5 seconds, and then it starts to fade. But there are a few that keep coming back, like a late nite movie that keeps showing up every week and you can’t stop watching it.

There are a few things that are in black and white, and a few that are in color. I noticed that they seem to incorporate a lot of things in “real” life, but things that are not really connected that way. They are associated somehow in my sub conscious I guess, and so they get thrown into the soup of the dream.

What dreams do you have that keep coming back?

Okay so there is a huge psychological process to interpreting them and having them end up determining what kind of person you are. Not so into that, I think there is some merit to it, but really. Some of my dreams just come up because I have weird food before I go to sleep (like Frito-Lay products with spicy flavors-can you say “Doritos”?) or because I saw a strange movie (anything by Stanley Kubrick) or listened to some music (like Explosions In The Skyincredible music). Some are just there for whatever reason. But like I said they disappear in the morning fog of the first cup of coffee.

So this one dream. It has a soundtrack and a mysterious lady. The song (perhaps the inspiration after all) is Magic by Ben Folds Five written by Darren Jessee [see below]. It seems like a mysterious song on its own, perhaps about someone who has passed on, or who has lost their life or perhaps their life’s memory (through Alzheimer’s perhaps)… but it is always the sound track. I am watching it from above and it plays out with a lady dancing by the light of this huge moon (some times it looks like it is my wife, sometimes someone I don’t actually know). Along the way I the whole thing becomes distant, and then again really close. I am sad but happy at the same time. In the end it makes me calm that the world will continue and this person is in it somehow.

That’s it. All you dream interpreters can have a hey day on what that all means, and I guess I could spend a lot of time in analysis to discover my mom or something was at the root of all of it. But no matter what I do, it just pops up.

What dreams do you have that keep coming back? How do you deal with them? Where do they take you?

Magic by Ben Folds Five

From the back of your big brown eyes
I knew you’d be gone as soon as you could
And I hoped you would
We could see that you weren’t yourself
And the lines on your face did tell
It’s just as well
You’d never be yourself again

Saw you last night
Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew

You’re the magic that holds the sky up from the ground
You’re the breath that blows these cool winds ’round
Trading places with an angel now
Saw you last night
Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew
Saw you last night
Stars in your eyes
Smiled in my room

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged being remembered, Ben Folds, Change, Dreams, Explosions In The Sky, Faith, life is precious, Music, Psychology, Social Sciences, Sprituality, Who Are You

07 Aug 2012

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Looking for Life’s GPS

The other day I was driving to some places I had never been before and taking some guests around our huge metro area. So I brought out the GPS device. Global satellite positioning means that this little screen can always tell where you are on the face of the Earth, and help you by providing the directions needed to reach your final destination. It’s amazing that so many years ago that concept would have been some sort of “space age” future miracle you would see in sci-fi movies.

Now it is a reality that is entirely possible and can show up on your handheld smartphone or sit neatly on your dashboard wherever you go. And announce what turns and lanes you should be in. Wow.

It would be nice if our lives had a device for reaching our goals and destinations in life. We could just type in where we wanted to end up, and let the life-GPS just program it. It would talk to you, just like the GPS’s do today. Part of the features of the GPS lets you know when you get “off course” by announcing “recalculating your route” adjusting your course and helping you get turned around the right way.

Often in life we get off course, and there just isn’t that convenient GPS in our pocket to turn our lives back on course. The course corrections are ours to make, sometimes with guidance from others around us. The people we trust, the people we admire or sometimes from those who have alternative motivations that may not be the best course. We may get lost because we get distracted. In my GPS for the car, you can program “attractions” along the way, but in our lives some of those are more interesting than others, and in other cases they are indeed “distractions” rather than attractions, although we may be drawn to them.

So what course do we program into our life’s GPS? How well would we listen to the instructions it would speak out to us. Would we ignore it? It could sit on our dashboard and tell us when we made a wrong turn to our final goal. Of course we could end up with detours, and construction or accidents that may slow our lives course down. But the GPS would just recalculate. Funny.

But we don’t have a GPS for our lives here on Earth. There is nothing we can program. We have to rely on our family and friends and importantly our spiritual leaders that will provide us the feedback we need to make corrections when things go astray. Sure we can just wander like nomads on the map, in hope of getting where we think we want to be, but in the end we have to keep our eyes and ears open to where we are going and who we are listening to.

But we also have to keep our hearts and minds open to God and his plan. Without it we may be recalcuating in circles that eventually get us lost. For many of us, we so much want to stay “on the map” and headed in the proper direction. In the end it will lead to the best destination we could all want. It starts by programming it in… go ahead. You can do it.