Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the category “Doing Things That Will Change Your Life”

Friends

FaceTo me it seems like friends can be an extension of your life.

It is good to have a mirror of reflection in your life, to compare things with each other. Take time to stop and make things be real in some way. Not that friends have to see everything 100% the same. That would actually be very bland over time. Being friends allows us to validate what emotions are, what seems right and wrong in the world, to laugh and perhaps cry with each other.

Friends can help share your pain, and sometimes cause it- but the are of value in our lives. They are part of the memories of the past and the present, they can be the reason that you greater cherish the future.

Sometimes its hard to find them, often there may be some people in your life that are truly not really interested in being your friend. But when your do find them, or they find you… it can be unique and special.

Thanks to all the friends then.They are walking with you, making those tracks in the dust that will eventually blow away on the spin of the Earth. What they can help you do is make more permanent mark on the lives you touch ahead.

Not the Facebook kind of friends, not the casual people who come and go in your life, but those friends that you know have made your life a better one. To those friends who will be there when you need them if they can, to the friends that make your life more rich. I know it sounds sappy or like something out of a movie or a beer commercial,  it is one of those things that can sound like that I suppose.

What is it about friends you have in your life? What makes them special to you? 

Freedom from Fear and Guilt

Can you let go of your fears and guilt?

Can you let go of your fears and guilt?

If you asked your friends or family how they defined “freedom” what would they say? Maybe something like…

“I can do anything I want,say whatever I want to say and no one can tell me what to do.”                                                                           

Sounds selfish, even if you took it to mean that you would do things that wouldn’t harm or hurt you or other people, there would still be a lot of things that would be difficult to accomplish in reality.

Fear and guilt get in the way of freedom. 

We may have guilt about the things we hadn’t done in our lives, or haven’t attended to and should. We can feel guilty about not spending more time with our family, or ourselves. We can feel guilty about what we said to someone, what we meant to say. It could be that the specter of guilt is there about severe things like cheating on your spouse, or short cutting things at work, or thousands of other things that accumulate over time.

Our fears get in the way of freedom. We have so many unspoken ones. Surely we may state that we are fearful of spiders or snakes or bears or sharks or something. We may have a fear of heights or flying. We could fear the dark or the unknown minute yet to come.  There are the unspoken fears of emotion and weakness. Those fears that can stop us cold from “getting involved” with a someone, or getting involved with a situation.  And then the compound as fears layer on top of fears. And the ultimate fear of death will play its own role.

Fear and guilt are real, and they stop us from that “freedom” we all wish for in many ways.

Can you imagine your life with no guilt, no fear? What would it be like? How would you find it? 

Let me end with something that keeps me going; something in the face my life with cancer helps to calm my fears.                     “…there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18)                                                                                                               “If the Son sets you free, then you will be really free” (John 8:36) 

 

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Are you ever finished? Where do you draw the line?

Are you ever finished? Where do you draw the line?

Don’t you think there are times you have to just say “stop” and draw the line?

I mean there are somethings that just have to get unloaded from your life as you continue to progress though it. Friends, family, work, personal commitments to managing your day and your week. You want to “be there” for everyone you can. You want to help them, support them. You want to be able to enjoy their company. Your work may demand a lot of your energy just to stay ahead… making it all that much harder to make it all work.

I have friends who burn-the-candle at both ends. They stay up late, get up early. They spend time moving from place to place and wanting to participate in just about everything. I wonder sometimes how satisfactory that experience really is. They worry if they miss something or if they are not “there” for someone who they will have failed- they struggle to be accepted.

Eventually you see them get discouraged. It’s like the analogy “If you attach one light bulb to a battery, the battery will continue to run for a long time. If you attach a dozen light bulbs to a battery, the battery will die quickly and things will l get dark.”

When you keep adding things to your calendar, piling things on top of your life, it is fairly likely you will get run down and  discouraged. You may need to un-plug from things. It can be very hard to do.

A there are so many things that can get in your way and drain the batteries   Maybe it’s a relationship, the work you do, a get together with friends or sports league or tending to all of the kid’s activities. ( I have seen parents who have their kids so plugged-in that they are heading for a crash as well).

It’s not necessarily an unwanted thing, many things can be really desirable. A being involved,participating in things can be great, but if you add up all those things in your life, you’re going to collapse because for the lack of time . You may just have to say “no” to somethings.

You cannot fall prey to peer pressure or the need to please someone. But guilt is a very strong thing, especially when you create it on your own. Or perhaps you may be holding on to a happiness or hurt. The reality is that you can never live in the past or the future; you can only live for today. Looking back in the past, or always working for what might happen tomorrow can drag you down.

I have read many blogs, I have written some myself about de-cluttering junk from your life. Maybe this is part of that clean-up, if it isn’t working for you, if it’s dragging you down,  perhaps you need to do the hardest thing… you need to let it go.

Related Posts

Negotiating With Yourself 

Organization in the Clutter of Life

The Gap Between Us

The Road AheadThere is a gap. A widening gap that is clearly defined these days by the opinion of others.

I think it comes from the need to embrace a position. I mean if you are “for” something  worth declaring, or”against” something you want to be sure to defend your reasons… you can fight for your right to believe it as well.

You get to pick something that has 2 pointy ends and show that you have a strong opinion, and in this day and age you get to do that in so so many public ways unlike ever before.  There was a time when “clubs” would represent the social perspective in public ways. There was a time when you could sit with your fellow club-members and remiss about the reasons you were together. There was a comradeship about it, a way to gather all of the people who had a genuine interest in something and see them face to face. You would sponsor public events, march in parades and perhaps engage in philanthropy.

Over time and the millions upon millions of connections we make electronically these days, we have depersonalized the equity of joining together in one place and making the effort to be part of the club. The social network was local but strong in its conviction. Its vast

So now it feels like many people are widening the gap, putting themselves on the farthest ends of their passionate convictions, and they are willing to let everyone know their opinion. Politics is a beast – even though there are so many in the middle- others seem to be pulling people to the extremes to prove their point. They even make news programs out of it that really aren’t “news” but the chance to share their extreme opinions to help validate the people out there who share them (really are they changing any extremes?).

There is still a place where everyone can gather. The church as its opinions too, but there are some core defining truths that make being in that group the best opportunity in another life. –

For some of us ( maybe many) we may be adverse to being labeled in one way or another. And those people on the extreme ends of things will accuse us of being soft, not taking sides. It is to their advantage to provide 2 solutions and ignore that there may be a third.

106 Billion People Since the Beginning of Time

Microscopic view of sand on the beach

Microscopic view of sand on the beach

We’re significant. We are in motion through time and we are able to influence the future right now in everything we do.

It may sometimes seem that we are like a small speck of sand on the beach.  It has been estimated that a total of 106 billion people have been born since the dawn of the human race (depending on which scientists you want to believe).

But in the process of our lives, we have an opportunity to impact each person and thing around us. Often we may not take it seriously. For some it is maybe a religious search for meaning, for others maybe it is as simple as while we are here we live as we live and then we’re done. (Not my perspective btw).

So you can just get overwhelmed by the sheer thought of it, or you can suck it up and get going. Each moment as you see someone in the street, at work or school. Whether you are meeting them for the first time or maybe the only time, you can influence their perspective on you, on life or just change the moment and send them in a new direction. You may never know you did it, but it can happen. Something you say, something you do, something in your attitude may change how they look at the day or at life itself.

But with your self-absorbed you, you can miss it. You can forget that in the core of your being you can be part of the purpose of life, part of the trigger that sends things going another direction.

Like the concept of the movie “Butterfly Effect or Ray Bradbury‘s short story”Days of Thunder” – where one little incident in the past (a butterfly dying when someone from the future kills it) can change everything about the future.   You have the same effect. Call it the YOU effect.  You can change things about the future in a chain reaction that will go on forever. It could be your part in changing the world. It doesn’t have to be some huge thing you do for “all of mankind” – it is the simple stuff you do everyday.

Don’t stop to look back now- make each day and moment count in the simplest of ways through grace and hope.

In the end, remember that Eternity Matters Most.

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