Tracks In The Dust

12 Apr 2012

No Day But Today

There are times when I ask myself “How did I get here?” I don’t mean I have been unconscious and I woke up out of a daze or something. I know I have been moving along day to day, living the life I have lived and counting the days on the calendar.

But when I stop to think about it I realize that there were many, many days that I had wished would come to an end as quickly as it could… You know, those days when it all comes down on you and you think it can’t get worse? At the end, you sigh the sigh of relief, hopefully lying in bed and wondering if you close your eyes will it go away (there are some I remember did not finish in my bed, but were in some very odd places I shudder to remember).

Still when the day is finished, look for the next day to improve. Of course there are always those days that start out looking like they are going to be “one of those days”. You know them…Issues at work, family conflicts, tests of patience or memory or physical stamina. Even in my younger days I knew that they would be around from time to time. But I hoped that they would be far between, and would be interspersed with some really brilliant and wonderful days. And of course they would be.

They stand out in life, those days that are the “best days of your life”. Things that happen in it seem to feel like miracles. Birth of children or like reaching a milestone: finishing school or achieving and being recognized for the challenge. These can be those times when you reflect back on your “firsts” and realize that it there will only be seconds and thereafter and capture those precious days forever in your memories. You find that you relive them again with your friends and family in remembrance. Many times you may not even have a physical picture of it, but the pictures remain clear in your head.

But between the days of “need to be over” and “wish it would never end” are mainly the abundance of days we live. And even then, they may be focused on the coming weekend or looking forward to special events or anniversaries with special people.

My advice to my children. Don’t wish them over, don’t take the day for granted or keep hoping for a better day some other day. Cherish the day you have. Thank God for it. Stop and take it in. Put the ingredients in it to make it be a day you can appreciate. Apply kindness, patience, grace, compassion, love. You won’t get another day that is identical; each day will be unique an non-repeatable. And you don’t have any guarantees that the next day will come with you in it at all. So please don’t wish them away.

10 Apr 2012

6 Comments

The Condition of Love

At this time of the year, being spring ( in the US anyway) and also Easter, the subject of love comes up often it seems in blogs, and around my home. More often than not the discussion of love lands on the idea of what true love means. It is interesting the amount of opinions this topic will surface, especially when it seems almost all of us are striving to find it in their lives. Maybe we are wanting to embrace it because we recognise it and value it so much, or we want to work hard to define it because we are unsure that what we have is truly love.

One of my fellow bloggers recently blogged:

Greek has three words to describe love. There is Eros, meaning a love founded on craving and desire. Such is love for specific food, activities, and other things. Second is Filia, meaning love in the context of interdependence (in a family or a community), where it is highly focused on “give and take”. Examples are: I love my family, I love my boyfriend, I love my best friend. Third is Agape, meaning the total self giving kind of love, the highest form of loving, where nothing is asked of return and self-sacrifice is of prime importance. Thank you Aix for your post! http://aixwrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/do-you-love-me/

We all seem to be searching for the Agape-type of love in our lives, unconditional and pure. But because we are human we most always will fall short. Statements that start with “I love you…” and add the words “until” or “except when you…” or worse, the next words are “but”… or… “however” – always seem to be tied to a list of conditions. In the end it appear it’s the most “human” kind of love. Sure, erotic love like lust/desire can create a spark- it can even be interpreted as the kind of love that is give/take. In fact it seems like in today’s world Eros-type of love often gets identified as a more sincere type of love.

But how many of us can say we have experienced that Agape love in our lives? The totally unconditional love that has no ties or conditions. How do we ever attain that love in our lives? As soon as we “expect” it we have already provided a condition. When we attempt to provide it, there always seem to be boundaries to contain it. Love of and for my children and my wife comes closer than I know toward that unconditional love. Close family, relatives and dearest of friends can come close.

So as we search for the verb “to love” as unconditional one, we may fall short. In fact there is only One in the history of the world that I know of that provided the level of love that we all strive for. And for that, I am grateful. So I ask my children, as they are looking for perfection in love, as they attempt perfection with their love – do it as purely as they can. Make each day count and each condition be one that reflects the goodness of love in its purest form.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Agape, Definition of Love, God, Grace, Love, relationships, religion, Self-Awareness, spirituality, Sprituality, Unconditional Love

03 Apr 2012

7 Comments

…You Might Find You Get What You Need

With the demands that life brings, sometimes it seems we are all making demands back on it. Our needs are simple right? But somehow even in simplicity – there are so many find ways for us to complicate things. Statements like “if only I had just this one thing happen then everything would be better” or ” there are so many things going wrong- just this one time let it be right”.

On occasion we may seem to lend our hope to everyone else, we create circumstances that optimistically will create the outcomes we believe we want. And when it doesn’t work that way, we wonder “what went wrong”? The answer we are sometimes told is to “not ask for much from life, but the simple things”. We can be assured if we make demands on what we want…perhaps many of our friends or family may not accept our plans. We don’t want to appear to be labeled “selfish” to the very people we cherish most, after all. That would seem like we don’t care. But we know we do care.

——

So off to the day you go… forward into the day life has dealt, with hope in one pocket and your planned expectations in another pocket. Some days it seems- things go well. Life is going just the way you planned it. Thankfully you appreciate the way the world treated you. You admire the work of fate or heaven or some guardian angel or personal wisdom you posess….. Other days everything falls short, everything you want is missing. You find yourself struggling with how fate dealt a blow, or God did not provide the answer to your prayers, or certainly someone else is to blame for the path it took.

In the end, it will only seem (in retrospect) that although your plans may contain the path you want to take- that you can count on the path turning in other directions- perhaps pointing the opposite way. In the end, you start to see the irony of it all- after all…the next second after this is truly one that hasn’t happened yet. So embrace the unknown. Know that there is something ahead and your life is already written in time, but not by you. Forge ahead with your plans- but know the path is winding. Look for what you need…

” You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need” – M. Jagger/ K. Richards

What is it you need? Happiness. Strength to carry-on. Love. Kindness. Compassion. Understanding. So many ways to get there, to get what you need…

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Desires, Grace, Happiness, Joy, Needs, Plans, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, Wants

28 Mar 2012

4 Comments

Every Begining Has An End

At the other end of something that begins is always the finish. Some ends come quicker than others, while some seem to go on for a long time. But either way the start has an end. ♥ The fact that I am positive of it- itself is comforting.

Before I knew I had cancer I was feeling invincable, that I had my own destiny totally under my control. God willing old age would finally get me like many of my ancestors before me, but I would have all the time to watch my children grow up and be what they chose to be. I would have time to sit on the beach with my wife & lover of decades so many that we would have stopped counting. I would be at peace because life was full, through all the ups and downs it would present in its eventual path to the end. Before cancer came, my lover and I had pictured of our traveling the country care-free. making stops along the way to take in the goodness of humankind as God planned it.

In the days before, there were indeed some days it would be easy to take things for granted, not stopping to make eye contact with life itself – too busy to invest the time to share words of kindness or a silent smile. Anger was something to hold on to, and happiness was something to have to go find. Regrets would be about trival things that didn’t even matter to anyone but me.

After cancer, our life together changed forever (that is a strange term since this life is not a forever thing). The battle is on, but the invader is without mercy. No voluntary retreat, no sympathy for time. The picture changes and the reasons for living become clearer with sharper edges. Each day becomes more precious, every interaction with life and the things around it more detailed. There is a willingnesss for investment in the “now’ that you want to share with everyone you can. Even still- although it seems that there is a plan, it is needed to be careful for the cold-darkness that can creep in. Even still- thankful for another day, thankful for the opportunity to embrace the things that matter most, but knowing there is the feeling of being tied to an ending. Theres that feeling of doubt (not fear) of how it will be for the fight in the end.

Still after all I am grateful for each day God gives me. Making sure along the way that I can pay it back while I am here on Earth. Each day as we move from place to place, we can make a difference in someone’s life that may last their lifetime.

I am a fan of many movies about traveling time and how it effects something that will change everything after it. From It’s A Wonderful Life to Butterfly Effect. But this is not just a fantasy, it is a real thing. Each of us can do it and put our existance on Earth in motion for years after we are gone from it. Making a difference that is more than tracks in the dust. It is a decision to live life and also to embrace eternity when it is over. The begining… has an end. But then all of us knew that all along. It is so easy to forget – until that day the when something shows you your plans have changed.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Cancer, Living, Postive Thinking, Self-Awareness

22 Mar 2012

3 Comments

The Lighthouse Keeper

Are you a lighthouse? Standing on the rocks and warning others to steer clear? You could be the ship at sea, heading for the destination ahead- tossed by the storms and reeling against the waves that may hold you back.

Being a lighthouse taking time to shine out to all around, you have your feet planted on a piece of rock that is jutting out into the sea. There are so many ways you can look and they all have water surrounding you. But you feel like you have a service to provide, and that you can stand on solid ground forever. In one place, never moving- always there. Still – will you wonder about the ships gone by?

Can you save everyone alone? Will you work to shine harder and make sure every boat at sea heads away from your dangerous ground. Still, is that what you want? IS that who you are? Or do you want to take your chances on the sea- heading from one port to another, stopping to discover the world around you. Do you wish to share the good news and get busy charting courses for the next adventure.

There may be times when safe harbour is needed, it’s a comfort that lends you time to recharge your batteries- wait for the tide heading out. At some point the time will come, to head back to sea- take your favorite memories and head out on the compass toward a new place. Don’t be afraid if you can see the lighthouse you will know it’s there to help you. To remind you that you are steering in safe waters.

Hold on for the storms, there are likely calmer waters are ahead. Take care to watch the rudder and make sure the course is true. You have the chartbook to show you the way, it sits on your shelf waiting for you find the maps we have been given by the master chartmaker. Take it in your hand, and grab your compass and go! Wave at the lighthouses as you sail by.

Seems like some of the people I know are content being the “lighthouse”- standing comfortably on solid rock- warning others as they sail by not to crash. Others people seem to be charting a new course every day, some are risky with storms and deep water, but they look forward to the journey ahead and the opportunity to share the words and world while we are here on Earth. Who are you? Which do you want to be?