Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

27 Feb 2012

The Definition of You

Not to get all Freudian or something, but lately it seems like I’ve met people who are struggling to understand themselves better. And it starts with them not able to personally define who they are. They have a lot of friends, family and lovers (past and present), around them who are more than willing to tell them how they define them. But the reality is if you could not ask the people around you…how would you define yourself?

Easy to put on different costumes and personalities to show to others, through different phases of a relationship with someone, different pieces of the real you may not be immediately exposed. Asking the question “Who do you believe you are?” without parroting back what others say you are is hard to do and seems to require inner inspection. Are you the same person inside as you appear to others? So easy at first to say “yes”- but the last person you should lie to is yourself and it is easy to do ( at least I can say that personally in a truthful way).

So go ahead…ask yourself who you are. Be honest. Are you a singer, a lover of horses, a follower of sports? Labels. Are you someone who thrives on interaction, or just likes interaction to validate who you are… letting that define the real you. Deeper, who are you spiritually? Sure there are labels: a scientist, a teacher, a lover, a friend. That’s easy to do… just add it to your Facebook profile already… but who are you when the world and others don’t label you.

Worse yet, once you think you know who you are– try comparing that to how others see you. Some of my closest friends have lost marriages, significant family relationships and friendships because they realized that they were trying to become someone they weren’t ever going to be, or worse yet were trying desperately to fit into something someone else wanted them to be. We always evolve from the foundation of who we are- but before you can really grow- you need to know what that foundation consists of.

I sound like a bunch of songs from the Who (queue “Who Are You” or “The Real Me”) or like the dozens of philosophers from my college classes. Seems like we are always in need of introspection. In this busy world – with constant input coming from so many different places- with almost instant feedback [more than any other time before in history], we need to be sure our first definition of ourselves is ours.

23 Feb 2012

Knowing Too Much is Not Enough

Before the Internet I can remember the idea that an opinion meant you got a chance to have a healthy arguement between friends, in a bar, at a restaurant, sitting on the lawn on a Sunday afternoon. Before the Internet is seemed so much easier to know the difference between printed words that were satire, or questionable (National Equirer et. al.) or just pain slanted one way or the other. People would discuss things in context and no one would be able to point out snipets of sentences later in a public way, because things were “of the moment”. Not talking about stars or politicians, just plain people making statements about things. Before the Internet if someone made a mistake and said or did something that later they’d regret, it wasn’t permanently recorded at some URL for others to scrutinize tens of thousands of times. You could have a grace-period to make amends, have 2nd thoughts that would be able to be shared in kind.

After the Internet, everyone’s opinion is shared potentially millions of times- world wide perhaps (www). Repeating opinion over and over lets it become fact, that then passionate people who want to agree can share with those who aren’t sure- and say “it’s a fact”. Ignorance can turn to prejudice which can turn to fear, which can be acted upon on the Internet (for all to see and read). Oh there are millions of reasons that the Internet is a good thing, finding firends, making new ones, understanding the world around us better than we ever could imagine… and its all there – sitting in a pocket smart phone, at the end of a search button. But just as good, it used in so many ways to spread half truths, human fraility that cannot be erased once it is shared. Such a powerful thing cannot be stopped, but those who innocently use it to share things without any regard for scrutiny seem to be throwing stones at their glass houses- as they would not and could not bear the same scrutiny in return. Sad.

And here I am on the Internet. Ironic. Its a fact!

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Internet, Opinion

22 Feb 2012

Fade Away

There are fade away jumpers,fade out songs,faded jeans,faded hopes or dreams. Some times it feels right to fade into the background. Songs about fading away (Buddy Holly) or rock and rollers who just fade away (Neil Young).
So when someone leaves this Earth so abruptly it seems to go against the “fade”. Lately there have been some young people in my life and our friends lives who have died so young and so unexpectedly that it comes as a shock to the mortal idea that we will all get a chance to fade out slowly, and experience lifes ups and downs.
But then God knows our time, we do not. Sometimes we are given a view of the road ahead [more on that another time] but we need to remember that life is precious. We hope it is a long and winding road, that we can make some significant impression on the world – tracks that make a difference.
In the end, whether we fade away or go quickly like a light bulb going dark we need to embrace what we can do in life while we are able. And for each of us that is something uniquely ours, since it is our life.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Fade away, life is precious

20 Feb 2012

Enjoying the Passage of Time

A smell, the weather, a certain sound, a book, a song, a painting, a color, a texture. So many things capture memories, trigger the recall of things that have been- things that are. The best ones are those you don’t seek I think. The memories you don’t conjour up. They just appear, they just show up in a dream, on a walk, sitting with your friend, your lover.

They take you through time and capture something that was hidden in your brain, a feeling, a thought, a place you’d forgotten, a person who has long since not been part of your life. That is the building blocks of who you are. Those are the things that perserve the fabric of your being.

Yet, some other days seem void of things, almost like they come and go so quickly that they blend in with each other. That is when we need to remember what is really important. Don’t run away from it, don’t force it or be angry because that day has come and gone with what seems like no purpose. Just embrace the passage of time and be aware of every small victory, every simple opportunity to provide grace to those around us. It only makes those empty days full.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Grace, Memories

19 Feb 2012

Eternity Matters Most

When my wife’s father was coming to the last days of his life, one of the things he wanted to be sure would happen; that he would be remembered. A God-fearing man, he was kind-hearted and kind to all around him his entire life. But who would think of him after he was gone?

It seems so many people are striving to leave their mark on the world – and with such a noisy world jammed so full of ways to communicate in this Information Age, they are having to make more noise to get noticed in the frey. It could be such simple things…but unfortunately like the headlines today seem to scream, many find such self-centered ways by finding their way to public venues with guns and statements. While others grieve the passing of fallen popular figures as an epic passing that serves as a never forgotten milestone to the time we have here. Many others just want to be remembered for their kindness or generosity. But often that is just a whisper in comparison.

No matter how someone might be remembered, or for how long on this Earth they will have a part in someone’s elses life of remembrance, there will be a time when that will disappear too. What is left is where you believe you will once you have taken the last breath here on Earth. Is there another breath elsewhere, is there eternity? It is the most important part of living, it is knowing that it matters most. And being good with that.

Memories will come and go, like the proverbial tracks in the dust. Generations will continue to build upon generations until the end of human time. When we live in this world, the very short time we exist will be ours to invest. Perhaps not to invest in being “remembered” but in doing our best to assure that others know what matters most. It is what is beyond our time here. So while we are here, we must learn to enjoy the passage of time. It is the secret of life.