Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Definitions”

Applying Labels

I suppose there is a basic human need for people to want to identify things with a label.

Some people use those little label making machines and label everything in their office or home so there is a sense of organization, others at the grocery store examine labels for contents to be sure they understand what they are eating, while others desperately work to label the identity of the people around them.

Labeling people seems to be a very challenging exercise, sometimes using only one label when another may be just as applicable. Just trying to find a single label that can apply is very dangerous, with it comes all the assumptions of what that label can mean because of personal prejudice or society’s definition.

Labels may be a political one, or about your religion or choice of partners. But there are labels everywhere. It’s not like labeling the container in your kitchen “sugar” when there is sugar in it. Pretty easy, because you can be pretty sure that is what it is when you see it and taste it.  Labeling people is so much more difficult to do. With those labels also come some preconceived notions of what that means about the person.

There is a great sense of order by grouping things that seem to be alike under one label. For many of us it is a need. Coming out of that, there is a sense of leaving less to the unknown by having labels assigned. Labels seem to provide peace-of-mind that we know about our world around us. It confirms that we are in control.

Without labels we can lack the idea of being aware of our world, often it may threaten our perceptions of things. How can something be good and bad at the same time? Where are the lines that define the shades of grey? Who decides? It can be defined by opinion or a vote… but who’s opinion and what vote?

So today I am struck by the casual and frequent comments I hear all around me about people and their labels for someone else, and how often that leads to misunderstanding, hatred, prejudice and the lack of willingness to know any more once the label is “assigned”.  It can cause a lot of conflict that makes relationships disintegrate, make friends move on, and choices for the future be skewed.

Of course we all have our own personal labels, those that identify us. We create those as we live our lives and make our choices. We often may be proud of that definition. We should. We may not share that with everyone else, because that alone could lead to a label that others may choose not to understand.

The Secret of Life

i have told my children, I have told my friends. There is nothing difficult about the secret of life. It is simply enjoying the passage of time. It isn’t difficult. Don’t spend so many hours,days, weeks, months or years searching for it. It may pass you by. You may miss it, you may spend your entire life looking for it. But you only have so much time, and it is time that is what you should cherish. You are able to make it work if you try. It isn’t even hard, although we may always be working so hard to look for it.

It can consume you, as you search. It can mean that you can toss away a day so easily and wonder where it went. It can mean that you have nothing to show for it as you search, and then if you ever do find it – you will ask “what took you so long?” So sit back and look at what has made your life be what it is today, and you may realise that you have it right in front of you. You make it what it is every single day. Thank God for it and enjoy it because the secret of life is simply enjoying the passage of time.

The Secret of Life by James Taylor

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
Any fool can do it
There ain’t nothing to it
Nobody knows how we got to
The top of the hill
But since we’re on our way down
We might as well enjoy the ride

The secret of love is in opening up your heart
It’s okay to feel afraid
But don’t let that stand in your way
’cause anyone knows that love is the only road
And since we’re only here for a while
Might as well show some style
Give us a smile
 
Isn’t it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Now the thing about time is that time
Isn’t really real
It’s just your point of view
How does it feel for you
Einstein said he could never understand it all
Planets spinning through space
The smile upon your face
Welcome to the human race

Some kind of lovely ride
I’ll be sliding down
I’ll be gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Isn’t it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It’s just a lovely ride

Now the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time

Kindness

Another one of my life’s songs along with my previous post “Compassion” is this one from my favorite artist Todd Rundgren. It is called “Kindness”. It is an attitude and characteristic that seems so lost these days in some circles. There are people who show you kindness, and you have to remember what that feels like and share it back.

So much more anger and frustration these days leads to violence and uncaring attitudes. We all need to take the lessons of kindness and pass them on.

I don’t mean to keep posting music (let alone my fave artist) – but it hit me again how fortunate it is to give and receive kindness in our lives, and how often it may be missing on our mission here on Earth.

Kindness by Todd Rundgren

The one that showed me kindness
Was the one that taught me kindness
Though I did not recognize it
Still I might have died without it
And when I awakened
It was too late to thank her
If I live someday I’ll make repayment
And show someone the kindness she showed me

When my voice grows strident
When I feel important
I’m reminded of that kindness
And where I’d be without it
I’m learning my lessons
It may take me a lifetime
Give me strength to justify my being
And show someone the kindness shown to me

The Definition of You

Not to get all Freudian or something, but lately it seems like I’ve met people who are struggling to understand themselves better. And it starts with themLooking for the Real You not able to personally define who they are. They have a lot of friends, family and lovers (past and present), around them who are more than willing to tell them how they define them. But the reality is if you could not ask the people around you…how would you define yourself?

Easy to put on different costumes and personalities to show to others, through different phases of a relationship with someone, different pieces of the real you may not be immediately exposed.  Asking the question “Who do you believe you are?” without parroting back what others say you are is hard to do and seems to require inner inspection. Are you the same person inside as you appear to others?  So easy at first to say “yes”- but the last person you should lie to is yourself and it is easy to do ( at least I can say that personally in a truthful way).

So go ahead…ask yourself who you are. Be honest. Are you a singer, a lover of horses, a follower of sports? Labels.  Are you someone who thrives on interaction, or just likes interaction to validate who you are… letting that define the real you.  Deeper, who are you spiritually? Sure there are labels: a scientist, a teacher, a lover, a friend. That’s easy to do… just add it to your Facebook profile already… but who are you when the world and others don’t label you.

Worse yet, once you think you know who you are– try comparing that to how others see you. Some of my closest friends have lost marriages, significant family relationships and friendships because they realized that they were  trying to become someone they weren’t ever going to be, or worse yet were trying desperately to fit into something someone else wanted them to be.  We always evolve from the foundation of who we are- but before you can really grow- you need to know what that foundation consists of.

I sound like a bunch of songs from the Who (queue “Who Are You” or “The Real Me”) or like the dozens of philosophers from my college classes.  Seems like we are always in need of introspection. In this busy world – with constant input coming from so many different places- with almost instant feedback [more than any other time before in history], we need to be sure our first definition of ourselves is ours.

 

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