Postive Thinking | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Postive Thinking”

25 Sep 2013

This Never Happened Before

My wife and I find that things are quite different these days.

Maybe you could call it “empty nest syndrome” or something like that, but actually it is just more about becoming older. Not the kind of “older” that means turning into a senior citizen. But the older that is more about knowing who we are, what we want and what is important to us.

We have been living most our lives together headed toward the future. Getting married, finishing school, moving around the country to find the next part of a career to support our family, and owning a home. Kids, yes we wanted kids. When we were younger we would think that maybe six kids would be great – yup a big family. As we decided to have children we determined six was not in the plan after the 2nd one we knew . In the end, four was enough.

But we spent much of their lives ( our lives) as the grew up being sure they were healthy, happy ( too much about that sometimes). that they had a good moral compass, good work ethic, made good decisions ( believe me they did not always make good decisions… sometimes really really poor ones). There to support them. It was our imperative. We love them. We wanted only the best for them and wanted to surround them with the things that matter (love would have been enough).

But now they are old enough ( all over 20 actually) and can make their own way through things each day. Just like my wife and I did when we were young. Oh we will be there for them whenever they need us, advice. sympathy, finances (sometimes), we enjoy and have excitement for their progress in the world.

But this never happened before: We have to make our way with our love to a new place, One that will be centered more around US and less around growing up with the kids in mind. We are what is needed for the future. We need to make that a priority.

Life is short, and it is definitely shorter on the downhill ride. Love my wife very much. This is the way it should be for lovers.

12 Aug 2013

Casting Stones

In these days it seems like EVERYTHING allows for the opportunity to cast judgement. There are so many more ways that people can decide whether something is acceptable or not. And in a world where it seems everyone wants to be accepted, this can be crippling for many who are sensitive to the barrage of possible responses.

You cannot turn around without someone being critical of what you “meant” about something you may have said. Because things are forever text-ed into the www atmosphere, because we can twitter and post to our hearts content,…because the Internet allows everything to be put-out-there for all to see, and be reviewed over and over… it allows for scrutiny beyond anything I can recall in the past.

I mean, everyone has a camera in their pocket these days, and they can take still pictures or videos that can be interpreted out of context or maybe just show someone with their guard down. In turn that allows everyone to cast their judgement on it: Is it funny, insulting, weird, profound, lewd, frightening or whatever?

Many people seem to enjoy casting judgement on things in other peoples lives. Quick to make armchair criticisms and then provide a conditional response. There are “terms” to be settled after all… you must apologize for your behavior among friends since everyone else sees it. You must explain yourself. Make amends. Really?

In the end, past generations seem to have been less subject to public scrutiny, allowing them the courtesy of making a mistake among friends, to say something they later regretted and have a short list to apologize to… Like the Bible story, “casting the first stone” has taken new meaning. The speed of that “cast” is super fast and can allow hundreds, or thousands of others to virtually “pile on” in the process.

One consolation: It shows proof that as humans’ ……..NOBODY is perfect.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Casting Judgement, choices, Compassion, conditional response, Nobody is perfect, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Public Scrutiny, Reality Check, Regrets, Social Networking, Taking Responsibility, Twitter

23 Jul 2013

2 Comments

You Are The New Day

You Are the New Day.

You can make the difference every day.

One of my favorite songs (traditional) by a group I listened to often long ago.

Go out and make a difference and be involved in someone’s life. Don’t close yourself off to living. Life is short.

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged choices, Emotion, favorite songs, Happiness, Memories, Music, new day, Postive Thinking, Rock music, Self-Awareness

27 Jun 2013

2 Comments

Letting Go

Let go!

There is a lot of comfort in “status-quo”. There are reasons that you like “the way things are”. Being firmly entrenched in the pattern you are in can sometimes feel good.

A lot of people thrive on change. In fact for me when things DON’T change it kind of makes me think that something might be wrong. I know that sounds like I am always waiting for the “other shoe” to drop… which is sort of sad I guess. But change is okay too, it has its ability to provide the kind of variety that keeps life interesting, and makes one be more aware of things along the way.

But for others I guess there is that comfort of keeping things the way they are.

As my kids got older I think my wife and struggled for a long time understanding that our children were looking outward on their lives and not focused on the “family” that made up our history. We realized we could not center everything on them, as we had in their younger days growing up. Not that they didn’t want to be part of our family, just that they were looking for the next-thing and needed to work it on their own. After all that is part of growing up, and although the flexibility to change is more difficult later in life due to so many of the anchors and roots we put on ourselves. There is likely always the “next-thing” around the corner – if we were looking for it.

But those others who are comfortable, they aren’t always looking for the next thing. The needs of the next thing may not be evident, and they may be frightening or mysterious. But that comfort can be constricting. The next-thing may very well come without warning.

A job goes away, health, finances, catastrophe, or just a change in the simple pattern of daily life can be devastating and make that comfortable life seem to slip away so quickly it leaves no time to pause. That alone can be constricting. It can stall out what will need to happen next, it can lead to depression and denial.

So it is important (I think) to get accustomed to “letting go” things and taking courses in life that could be risky or unfamiliar. Letting go can lead to changes that you don’t expect, that you can’t even imagine.

Letting go is hard. No promises, but lots of promising prospects. Is it time to let go of something?

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Behavior, Change, choices, denial, Depression, Doubt, Faith, Letting Go, Memories, mental-health, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Something New, The next thing, waiting for the other shoe to drop

26 Jun 2013

2 Comments

Appreciating Acceptance

Since as early as pre-school it would seem that there is a desire for acceptance. A desire or perhaps a need to be part of the “group” that has some common goal, even if that is just to be the first on the playground or have the same favorite color or game.

Even more later in life I suppose, as we move into our adolescent years, there is a strong desire (maybe part of the hormones) to be accepted. Be part of a team or a clique, be accepted by the person(s) we romantically desire. Even for those anti-society “rebels without a cause” there is a reason to be accepted in a group.

There a likely hundreds upon thousands of academic books about this topic. I am sure that they all wrap things up into some human characteristic that is inherent in our DNA or something. Wonderful that so many pages can be written to draw up a conclusion about the whole thing of acceptance.

For us in the adult world – most of us are always in need of things like friendships, acceptance in our work spaces with our peers and the boss, relating to others on all sorts of levels on topics from crafts to politics.

There is one place that isn’t often part of that equation as it should be in my view: church. A place where all people are seeking acceptance, and looking for others that see that opportunity to be accepted as well. Just talking about the gathering of people- not the building, but the church as a collective of people who believe that the mission is to continue to extend the hope, spirit and faith. Surrounding yourself with people who have the same perspective can become refueling for the soul.

I think that the first step to positively appreciate your acceptance, is to recognize and accept the spiritual guidance that is inside of you, and accepting yourself first.

I tell my kids to focus on knowing what you need and why you think you need it. Learn to be yourself if you want to be accepted by others. If you don’t know who “you” are – how are you going to gain acceptance from others? how can you even to accept others?