Reality Check | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Reality Check”

31 May 2014

Out of Context

Is it just me or does it seem like everyone seems to want “action” on things when someone says something that doesn’t agree with the common thinking.

Who has decided what is the “common thinking” anyway? Is it who has taken the latest opinion polls ? or is it the loudest voice in the crowd? I always get apprehensive when a public figure ( politician, celebrity, or whatever) uses the term “we” … like they are representing majority of people whom that have all conferred with and clearly understand.

I guess now a days that’s easy to do. Everyone with a computer or a smartphone has the pulpit of the Internet in which to say stuff. Is it stupid or ignorant? Is it misquoted or out of context? How many times does it get repeated by another someone on the Internet that feels the same way. Before you know it those hundreds of people seems to represent thousands. And the ball of bad taste just seems to propagate from the center of it. .

They can say remarks in context, out of context, with a total different intention that delivered. But if enough people like it, they will quote it as fact and then color it with their own intention. In fact measuring someone’s “intention” rarely seems to be considered at all- just immediate lambasting or flag waving ( depending on the reasons for doing it).

Advice to my kids: Intention doesn’t matter I guess. It is all subject to criticism. And a few viral minutes later we can all agree that something has been pointed out as thoughtless, or heroic, or shameful or patriotic A mere shadow of the real reasons of the real people who lived it.

Lately I have become much more aware I guess. Maybe that is something that I will promise myself. Don’t jump to the conclusions that others have provided, they could be wrong.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Advice, Being Labelled, Being Thoughtful, Change, choices, Context, Faith, Internet Facts, Lies, Out of context, Reality Check, saying the wrong thing

30 May 2014

Losing My Reflection

It is easy. Easy to get lost in the everyday demands that make up life. Missing time to reflect on who you really are.

How do you program that into your calendar? Making sure that you take the time to actually know who “you are” instead of who other people expect you to be. It can be struggle, even more so if you are losing your reflection. Your own time. By the time you find out you are lost in the daily routine it can seem too late to make a change.

But change you must. Getting back the image that you know you are. The image in the mirror of the person who brought you to this place in time. Don’t look at the wrinkles, or the wear and tear around the eyes. Look deeper and see what is inside of you that defines the meaning of your life. It’s really not about you, it is about much more than just you. But you have to start by examining that part of you that is fading.

Get the mirror out and really look past your skin, look past the makeup or the hair cut. Take toll of what is going to help make it long-term. The small stuff isn’t going to really make a difference tomorrow. Like they say, don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go. Let God have a shot. Let your spirit be more free to take part in your soul.

In the end I know I get lost in my own schedule. I get accustomed to the routine that has provided me comfort (nothing wrong with comfort). But that comfort has allowed me to be complacent and somewhat lazy. And then just to justify it I reason out that its okay. But it’s really just me losing my reflection of life.

Kids, It is just that easy. No matter what age you are, not matter what you think you are doing now- look closely in the mirror. Are you there?

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Doubt, Faith, life is precious, mental-health, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, reflection, Self-Awareness, taking time, tracks in the dust, Who Are You

22 May 2014

2 Comments

Empty Nest

Empty nesting time. It is a reality for almost all parents at one time or another. Notice I don’t say “all” parents because I can suppose that some 30-year-old adults are still living with their parents somewhere ( for good or bad).

Empty Nesters

My wife and I can recall some of those days when they were very young. We’d wish for them to be a bit older and provide us some quiet nights sleep and a bit less chasing them around to keep things out of their mouths.

As they grew older we started to realize there were just “different” levels of challenges. Dating, distractions, puberty, peer pressure that leads to all of the moments when you ask yourself ” is this really my child?” During their teens it was sometimes hard to distinguish how they would totally forget the lessons that we would have hoped the had learned in their “formative” years. But yes, they did forget. Often in some cases.

But mistakes will happen ( hopefully not catastrophic or life threatening… each which I have learned can be different) 🙂

We had one child who left abruptly when he turned 18, and didn’t look back. We didn’t really interact with him at all but after 12 years we have finally come to know him again thank fully.

It is hard to let go, but they all have to find their own course in life, and what you have taught them (and they retained) has to be good enough.

My advice to my kids ( if they read these now, or later) is to be centered in who you are spiritually, remember the fundamentals between right and wrong, it’s okay to make mistakes, its okay to be frustrated and angry with life- but you need to make something out of those pitfalls. Apply the lesson to what’s going on ahead in your life.

So here we are – with our empty nest. But honestly we have 4 great kids who we love more than anything, and they are out on their own making a “go” of it. We’ll embrace them the best way we know how. Yup, and here I am at tracks in the dust still trying to share advice. Guess we can all learn no matter how old we get. I am learning how to be an older parent.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged being remembered, Change, choices, Empty Nest, Empty Nesters, Growing up, leaving home, Letting Go, making mistakes, moments, Opinion, Reality Check, relationships

21 May 2014

4 Comments

A Dog’s Life For Me

I grew up with cats. My mom had them since I was in elementary school and had one long after I left home. When my wife and I first met she had dogs in her family. Family dogs with a long history. After we got married apartment life and planned moving from town to town left “cats” as the only option. Decades and all the kids out of the house, we have finally become an “all dog” house.

The last family cat finally made it to its “next” of nine lives ( one of my sons thinks the best that maybe he came back as a porpoise or something).

So I am learning, dogs are great, they can be loyal and loving. They can be like taking care of little kids who will endlessly be toddlers at best. I get that now. My dog Jake has been part of our lives for almost a year of his two-year old mutt-life, he is probably not all that smart but very lovable.

My wife’s dog Eva has been her lifeline and is still mainly just “her” dog. She is only 4 but knows who she loves best, and gets the special treatment she feels she deserves from my wife everyday.

I am sure lifetime dog owners can provide all sorts of reasons for the goodness of dogs. Guess it took me decades to get to the point to learn.

I am not certain of all of the reasons, but hey- I got a goofy dog that seems to follow me around. and loves the attention. Brings us a bird or a bunny on occasion as his proud trophy. Never passes up a treat or some scratching on his tummy. That’s worth some joy everyday. Woof

That’s Jake on the left and Eva on the right.

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged Acceptance, animals, Cats, Change, choices, Dogs, family pets, moments, Owning a dog, Owning a pet, pet companions, pets, Reality Check

16 May 2014

Reconnecting with Old Friends

There is something great about reconnecting with old friends. It helps to remind you of where you were. Even though you can’t go back in time and relive those days, it is nice to ground yourself once in a while. Good for the soul.

Wishing you can go back will be pretty hollow, but looking at that notch in time is a good way to evaluate your place in time- in the “now”.

There is certainly some remembrances of things you desire to forget. Those awkward times when life deals the blows that land bruises, loss of loved ones and painful experiences.

There are also things you wish you could put in a highlight reel, those things you were proud of – the accomplishments of goals and desires you have had over the years.

Then there are those very special remembrances with those genuine friends and family that if you could “bottle” the feelings of comfort and joy, you would open that bottle frequently and drink that in.

But change is going to happen. And some of your closest friends now may be just part of the future memories you may embrace.

Have you had those times when you’ d hope it would never end, but looking back later, it may have been the best thing? Disconnecting from people who ultimately create a negative influence can be hard to do. We may not even recognize that we are deep in the influence of friends who mean the best, but end up keeping things from happening in our lives.

So it is good to reconnect with old friends isn’t it?

Great for remembering who you were, the fabric of what you are now, and where things came to get you to today…. because still in the end there is “no day but today”.

Friends ( by Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travelers to go

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then everything’s all right

It seems to me a crime that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly