Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Acceptance”

Talk Yourself Into It

As it has been said, your thoughts determine your feelings and your feelings determine your actions. If you want to change your life, you have to control the way you think. Sadly I see so many of my friends and co-workers who seem to be talking themselves into being negative about themselves and others.

Science says that you’re constantly talking to yourself — all the time. Your mind is talking to you! I bet you are  talking to yourself right now. Research shows that most people speak at a rate of 150 to 200 words per minute, but your mind can listen to about 500 to 600 words a minute. That’s why you can listen to one person while planning what you are doing tonight at the same time.

It’s been measured that the conversation we have with ourselves — is at a rate of 1,300 words per minute.  Because your mind sees in pictures, and you can see a thought in a nanosecond.

So your personal conversation may be saying, in effect, “Everything I say puts me down.” Like most of us, you are your own worst critic. Seems like we’re always putting ourselves down. We walk into a room, smiling, but inside we’re thinking, “I don’t look right. I don’t fit in. I may not be able to talk well with strangers. I’m sure they will think I am boring.”

God wants us to stop putting ourselves down. When you put yourself down, who are you really putting down? When you say these bad things you’re really pointing to God, who made you. When you say, “God, I’m worthless. I’m no good. I can’t do anything,” you’re saying, “God, you blew it with me.” That’s why God says it’s wrong to put yourself down.

“Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right … Think about all you can thank God for and be glad about” (Philippians 4:8 LB).

So, don’t think about all those weaknesses in your life.  There isn’t a better thing you can do to raise your confidence level than to start believing that you should fix your thoughts on what is true, good and right. You are  valuable; you are significant; you have the ability; you are more than capable.” 

Ref: Inspired by Rick Warren.

Applying Labels

I suppose there is a basic human need for people to want to identify things with a label.

Some people use those little label making machines and label everything in their office or home so there is a sense of organization, others at the grocery store examine labels for contents to be sure they understand what they are eating, while others desperately work to label the identity of the people around them.

Labeling people seems to be a very challenging exercise, sometimes using only one label when another may be just as applicable. Just trying to find a single label that can apply is very dangerous, with it comes all the assumptions of what that label can mean because of personal prejudice or society’s definition.

Labels may be a political one, or about your religion or choice of partners. But there are labels everywhere. It’s not like labeling the container in your kitchen “sugar” when there is sugar in it. Pretty easy, because you can be pretty sure that is what it is when you see it and taste it.  Labeling people is so much more difficult to do. With those labels also come some preconceived notions of what that means about the person.

There is a great sense of order by grouping things that seem to be alike under one label. For many of us it is a need. Coming out of that, there is a sense of leaving less to the unknown by having labels assigned. Labels seem to provide peace-of-mind that we know about our world around us. It confirms that we are in control.

Without labels we can lack the idea of being aware of our world, often it may threaten our perceptions of things. How can something be good and bad at the same time? Where are the lines that define the shades of grey? Who decides? It can be defined by opinion or a vote… but who’s opinion and what vote?

So today I am struck by the casual and frequent comments I hear all around me about people and their labels for someone else, and how often that leads to misunderstanding, hatred, prejudice and the lack of willingness to know any more once the label is “assigned”.  It can cause a lot of conflict that makes relationships disintegrate, make friends move on, and choices for the future be skewed.

Of course we all have our own personal labels, those that identify us. We create those as we live our lives and make our choices. We often may be proud of that definition. We should. We may not share that with everyone else, because that alone could lead to a label that others may choose not to understand.

Some Days are Movies, Some Days are Books

Some days are movies, some days are books.

There are those days that seem really fluid, like some sort of compact movie with a plot that has a beginning in something simple and builds to an ending all balled up in 2 hours. It is like some director is moving the characters in and out of the scenes ( of which you all seem to be in). Or you are hearing the storyline unfold through a strange set of circumstances. Things are registering, things are happening, but in some way you are still connected in a distant way. There is a soundtrack complete with meaningful and selected subject matter intended to shape the mood. A lot of background is out of focus, but you don’t mind. You are seeing it as a sweeping story of your life.

Yet, there are other days that seem like a book. Each and every detail is carefully drawn out to get you to turn the page. The details are descriptive, intense and in some crazy way going in slower motion than you would expect. There is dialog that is meaningful, there are surroundings that have significance. But the whole thing feels like an author ( you actually) is building the plot like some final distant conclusion on a page near the back cover. And the characters are deep and move in and out of the pages like a rhythm that is comfortable, with room enough for several sub-plots.

So I know that I don’t always get to choose. It can be a surprise that can somehow be pleasant, or cause a lot of frustration. It’s like that feeling of being distracted when watching a movie with a lot of dialog, or looking up from a page in a novel and having to go back and read it again- just to keep the story in context.

Today was a movie. And now that it is nearly the end of the day and the credits will be rolling, thinking about tomorrow…well who knows? Kind of okay with that, brings itself some adventures that will always be adding to the plotline, always be making a new soundtrack or revealing a new twist in the characters with in.

Either way, I can make it work.

Kindness

Another one of my life’s songs along with my previous post “Compassion” is this one from my favorite artist Todd Rundgren. It is called “Kindness”. It is an attitude and characteristic that seems so lost these days in some circles. There are people who show you kindness, and you have to remember what that feels like and share it back.

So much more anger and frustration these days leads to violence and uncaring attitudes. We all need to take the lessons of kindness and pass them on.

I don’t mean to keep posting music (let alone my fave artist) – but it hit me again how fortunate it is to give and receive kindness in our lives, and how often it may be missing on our mission here on Earth.

Kindness by Todd Rundgren

The one that showed me kindness
Was the one that taught me kindness
Though I did not recognize it
Still I might have died without it
And when I awakened
It was too late to thank her
If I live someday I’ll make repayment
And show someone the kindness she showed me

When my voice grows strident
When I feel important
I’m reminded of that kindness
And where I’d be without it
I’m learning my lessons
It may take me a lifetime
Give me strength to justify my being
And show someone the kindness shown to me

Compassion

I have always believed that one of the most valuable things you can posess in life is compassion.  What comes of that is the heart of the Spirit that is “love,joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.”

Here is one of my life’s songs. Compassion (Todd Rundgren)

You want more, and still more,
Until you get more than you ever bargained for.
Now its plain, clear as rain,
I’ve seen your symptoms many times before.

Lying on your bed of pain
What will you have now?

What are riches untold in a life without compassion?
For there’s no winter as cold
as a life without compassion.
There’s no prescription that’s sold
that can heal you like compassion.

Well you tried and you cried,
And let your disappointment make you hard inside.
You have doubt, you reach out,
Still you’re the only one you care about.

Hiding in your sack of woe
What do you need now?

For there is nothing so sad
as a life without compassion.
And even love has turned bad,
it was love without compassion.
And you don’t need what you had
‘Cause you did not have compassion.

Dying on your bed of pain
What will you have now?

You’ll get no judgment from me,
I can only feel compassion.
And if that’s what you need,
I will give you my compassion.
Just don’t forget about me
‘Cause we all need some compassion.

Open up your heart
so you can start to feel compassion.
Get down on your knees,
pray to heaven for compassion.
Everybody needs compassion.
If you want to be healed
then you know you got to feel compasion

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