Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Grace”

09 Jun 2014

Our 35 Years of Sharing

There is no way to put it into perspective completely. Today my wife and I celebrate 35 years of being married.

It has been a marriage filled with joy and sorrow, adventure and patience, love and anger, some victories and some regrets. The memories are precious, even as some of them are filled with cloudy remembrances, they are part of our love growing together.

We were married as our parents opined “very young” ( my wife was 19 and I was 23). We didn’t go in blindly to the marriage, but I think we were naive about what the journey ahead would be. But headfirst we jumped into life with the promise of a bright future.

Thirty-five years later we have relocated multiple times across the US ( mainly because of job related reasons), we have 4 great children that have supplied ( and continue to supply) a house full of love and family dramas. But over all we have been blessed. Not by wealth, not by possessions, not by health or constant good fortune, but by each other. It has not been perfect.

I want to quote a wise spiritual leader, pastor, author I have had the honor to know, Steve Lucas, who also recently posted some sentiments about his marriage on his site (Yesterday Lucas): These really captured my heart as things that I feel are so true. “Marriage is not about perfection. It’s about two people, stumbling through life together, growing in their relationship with each other and with God. Forgiveness, patience, a bad memory, and extra love are all ingredients that are required to make it in marriage.”

And I agree with that 100%. As he explains also that there are a handful of days that could be good to have called a “do over”. I can think of several in recent memory ( some further back are a bit cloudy, but the remnants are still there ). But as he says, do-over’s would likely be at the expense of the wisdom gained through mistakes. Again I couldn’t agree more. “ Thankfully, in every failure there has been forgiveness; in every trial, we shared them together.”

“I don’t deserve my wife. But then again, neither do I deserve the Grace of God. But I’ll happily accept both.”

I am blessed with the happiness of what is truly the good fortune in my life, to know true love.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Faith, Fmaily, Forgiveness, God's love, Grace, Imperfection, Marriage, Memories, moments, Postive Thinking, relationships, True Love, Wedding Anniversaries

02 May 2014

Lies That Can Contain You

Lies are powerful things aren’t they? They can convince you to do things you may otherwise never have done. They can lead you in the wrong direction and contain you in fear.

I have learned over time that there are people in your life that may lie to you, but may also love you too.

They may think they are doing it for “good reasons”, perhaps to protect you.

But overall those most powerful lies in your life likely come with motivation. It may be selfish motivation by someone wishing to avoid personally bad situations, or it could be they wish to manipulate you or others to do things they want you to do for the wrong reasons.

Perhaps you have reasons to WANT to believe the lies. It may make it easier. Send fault or blame somewhere else. Provide an excuse to not fight for the right thing or do the right thing. Not to face the truth of the matter.

For example: A person can choose to believe that since they are imperfect they may think they are unworthy of forgiveness. It can seem easier to dig a deeper hole and put ourselves in a “box” with the perception of “no way out”. Breaking free from the lies we embrace can be life changing, yet it may never happen. As the good book says ” the truth shall set you free”.

So advice for my kids... what can you do? Start by being true to yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. Be sure you test the things you hear and ask questions that help to measure their motivation. Take care to understand things more, and not necessarily accept things at face value.

Today it seems more than ever that people desire to listen to others or read something on the Internet, and then accept things just because it sounds like something to want to believe. It doesn’t mean it is worthy of acceptance. There can be convincing arguments, there can be things that can sound true. But understand the consequences. Know the motivations.

Don’t let lies contain you in fear or uncertainty. Understand your well-being is centered in faith in your heart and in Him.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Compassion, devious, Fear, Grace, Lies, mental-health, motivation, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Truth, Who Are You

27 Mar 2014

Focused Restoration

Recently, some very wise men spoke to me and others on the perspective of “restoration.” It was profoundly interesting that it applies in so much of our lives each day.

We work to restore those things that are broken in our lives by doing some fairly outlandish things. Just like those projects to help restore the broken things around us, we work to restore ourselves and others.

As we try to fix what is broken in our relationships, what is broken in our lives – at work, in our families, with our friends, with our own spirituality… our chances of getting it wrong are very high. We tend to count on our own sensibilities to reason out our restoration.

Or worse yet we may be working on restoring others around us. It may be easy to point at others and see their imperfections. It may even be reassuring that by doing so, we can tuck away our own need for restoration. Do you know those “fixers” that work to fix up others in their lives, but miss working on themselves? The focus is elsewhere.

Personal restoration can be kind of like a facade. A false front that has little content behind it. Maybe just go for the quick fix: If “only I ” do this one thing- everything will be better. Life is moving kind of fast, so we hunt down that magic thing that will solve the problems in our lives, will help to mend the issues that seem to be looming and keep us from the better life, keep us from being a better person.

But ultimately I think, the truth is in how we focus our energy, how we make sure that we are doing those things we can do and putting our trust in the outcome. The expectation may be different from the result. Perhaps we need to invest in ourselves? Some may see that as selfish, but it is the genuine investment in our spirituality. The focus on inspecting our hearts and our souls to know that we are right and true to ourselves.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Definitions, Faith, Grace, Personal restoration, Philosophy, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Religion and Spirituality, spiritual focus, Sprituality

28 Feb 2014

Controlling Happiness

It would seem we are always in the pursuit of it.

The sign at the front door of my home

Yet,It often seems so elusive, and still I have come to realize that each of us are in control of it. Happiness wisps away like a soap-bubble in the wind. Flying from here to there and hitting people. For some of my friends I think they believe it lands on them – like luck or good fortune. Being happy is definitely a blessing. It is desirable. Not always attainable.

In the pursuit… people seem to do unnatural things don’t they? I mean they will do everything to avoid the inevitable fact that there will be sadness in their lives. Ignoring it, dismissing it as not allowed wont change that. Other people seem to think they can buy happiness, Add more things in their lives and it will be a happier one. Add more things, which will attract more people (who may seem to be your friends). they want to insulate themselves from ever being unhappy by filling their lives with time-filling stuff and people. We know how that turns out. Yet we would struggle to not accept the idea that we could try to see if that would work.

So if it is not money, and it is not avoiding sadness. If indeed it is not elusive at all, then what brings you happiness?

For me? Being confident that the people I love are there for me, and I am there for them. Being sure that I know where my spiritual center is. Understanding that I have the control over my happiness and other emotions. Not that I am going to be happy all the time. We are all human, subject to feelings of melancholy and remorse, anger and sadness, frustration and loneliness. You cannot always choose happiness, bad/sad things happen. Personally as someone fighting cancer I think it is how you deal with it that counts.

But we have the ability to grasp the positive things in our lives. Those things that will make the yin to the yang. Trusting in God. Living a life that is not centered on negative things. Making the best of the situations as they come. Understanding that not everything is going to be “just fine” all the time. It will take the effort.

You have heard the term “control your anger”. Perhaps we can also “control our happiness”?

Happiness Runs- Donovan

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Compassion, Faith, Grace, Happiness, Joy, Kindness, Postive Thinking, Sadness, searching for happiness, Self-Awareness, Songs About Happiness, Sprituality, Who Are You

25 Feb 2014

Take the Time To Sing

“With your head up, with your eyes closed. Not because you love the song, but you love to sing” – Aaron Marsh

I realize I will forever be tied to music.

MGert Concert Picture

Many of my past family ancestors were artists, many of my relatives today are artists, painters, writers. Creators of the “arts”.

My passion has always been to sing. From elementary school choir to high school musicals. In rock bands that were such great fun in school to working to make it a profession by touring around with a bus ( not successfully by the way). Just jamming in garages or making sounds in basements made for revitalizing enjoyment. Even today I get to sing at church from time to time with the band ( yup, not a “choir” but a great bunch of musicians).

When I get in the car I put on music, when I am relaxing I put on the playlists, when I am working on things I put on music rotations. Parties? Without music? No way.

Concerts are an event, and more often the better. My kids taught me how to experience the music today. I have tens of thousands of songs on my hard drive, own one thousand vinyl records I can’t seem to let go of (even though I don’t have my turntable connected). Songs from every genre, rock music from the beginning, eclectic, progressive, jazz, soul, R&B, even disco ( but not too much :))

So like so many others I around me – I sing. Never going to win any trophies or competitions. But I love to sing.

What about you…? Like to sing? So SING. Not because you love the song- but you love to sing.

COPELAND: You Love to Sing