Opinion | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Opinion”

18 Feb 2013

Okay… New Rule

There was a time when it was easy to know all the rules. There was the golden rule, the simple rules that made up the rules of “etiquette” that Miss Manners would teach us. They were a guide to how to react, how to look at things. How to make sure that others felt comfortable with you and who/what you were.

But these days no rules seem to be the rule. The more you can shock someone, the more you can be out of the normal trend of things – the more people may notice you. And it may not be because you did something good, it may be quite the opposite. Be shocking enough or do something that will make people be “aghast” with the way you did it. In popular culture that means you will get noticed, you will be part of the buzz or covered on TMZ or tabloid shows on television. You will show up on some magazine as the “newest” thing.

In these days it seems that it means it has to be notched up. In order to get attention above the normal for this week, one needs to be out-of-bounds even farther than those before us. Of course to make it all work you have to add the Internet. Just do it on YouTube and have it be viral and you will be a star for next week.

It’s like being “change junkies”, even our youth here in the US are thriving on the difference. That seems to have always been the thing…but the notches have turned up higher than before. The shear out-of-bounds rules of the 50’s when kids came to school with blue-jeans on (dungarees) and people were struggling with hair cuts and music. The rules were also changing then for the youth. Now they have become so much more accelerated don’t you think? How can our youth out-do the popular culture which is coming at us all 24/4 on any URL you wish to Google.

So we end up heading toward the potential for a more complicated life. Like working hard to keep track of the “new-rules.” If we are going to be sure we are aware of them, it could prove to be not so simple. All of the media around us and our children’s peer groups screaming it.

My advice to my kids: Be aware of the new rules, but keep it simple. That is going to be my motto too. Just take it one day at a time, understand that you don’t have to make things be bigger, louder, meaner, faster, or on the fringe. Take care to understand the rules will change, and change is good… but don’t let those rules rule you. You can stay in control of things with the simple rules and let that drive your spirit with the power and grace.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Change, Definitions, Doubt, Golden Rule, Google, Grace, Opinion, Pop Culture, Popular culture, Reality Check, Slow Down, The Golden Rule

12 Feb 2013

2 Comments

No Drama Zone

There are days when it isn’t welcome. The drama and urgency of others hits you square in the head. You just want to leave it alone, let it be something someone else needs to know, someone else needs to deal with.

It’s really not that you don’t care, close family and friends deserve the critical points that make up drama in their lives as much as anyone. We all have those moments, those days, those situations that put drama in our lives.

Sometimes it seems it is self inflicted – we can attract drama in our lives like a magnet. We even are unaware and unconscious about it coming and are surprised when the drama arrives. Things do go another direction than we expect, things find their ways into our lives that just make things so much more difficult than we are expecting, than we are wanting.

But there are times when our friends and family want to share drama. Even more unexpected than our own, it comes with the needs and wants of their expectations, which sometimes just.. aren’t… yours. You just can’t deal with it and you take a deep breath. Because after all it is a loved one… you have compassion for their plight. You understand your dilemma but it just isn’t something you can deal with at that time. Maybe some other day, but not today.

So then you feel like you don’t care. It tips the scales on the things you are dealing with at the moment, and makes it even worse in some ways because you want to be there for them. But it is that moment when you can not. It feels wrong.

As a person who cares about things (like most of us do), especially your family and close friends… it feels frustrating -yet is probably better for them that they know there are those points in the day, week, month. moment that it just has to be a… NO Drama Zone.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Compassion, critical points, deep breath, Definitions, Emotion, Family, family and friends, Friends, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Worry

18 Dec 2012

Soundtrack of Your Life

Hey- I got stuck on this the other day. So many of my friends (both bloggy and non-bloggy) talk about how music is such a part of their lives.

I think music draws a lot into the motions of life, surrounding you with feelings and memories that are indelible.

Liberally borrowing from a recent Entertainment Weekly magazine I challenge each of you (if music is part of your life at all like it is for me ) to answer the following & post it back on comments or on your site and “share”.

What are the songs that make up the Soundtrack of Your Life?

The first song I was ever obsessed with:
The first album I ever bought with my own money:
The song that reminds me of my first love:
The first song I ever sang in front of people:
The artist people don’t know I am a fan of:
My go-to karaoke jam:
The album that reminds me of home:
The album that I will never get tired of, no matter how often I hear it:
The song(s) I listen to to get pumped up:
The song that I wish I had written (and would have been famous for):
The album I want played at my funeral:
My #1 favorite holiday song:

You can explain yourself if you want to as to why you chose it. Just play along! Their are NO wrong answers.

Go ahead. But be sure to share on your site or in the comments for others to see… and provide a LINK.

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Christmas music, holiday song, Memories, moments, Music, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Rock music, Self-Awareness, Who Are You

20 Sep 2012

What Other People Think Of You

I have always struggled thinking about with what other people thought of me. Acceptance was so often a guideposts for things I would do, for the plans I would make. There was a time when I turned a corner. Maybe it was part of my Lutheran upbringing or later on in life my cancer diagnosis, but I finally realised it had to change.

When you worry about what other people think, you let them control who you are. You waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want you to be. Maybe they want it selfishly, maybe innocently they want you reflect themselves on you? You don’t even realise it – but all of a sudden you find yourself wasting a lot of time and energy trying to become like something you believe people want you to be, rather than just being what God made you to be.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because it leaves us extra sensitive to criticism. It means we may not do the right thing for ourselves but instead, we do the things that other people want us to do. And what everybody wants to do is often the opposite of the compass inside of us. Then when we feel that friction we are even more irritated with our life around us.

You cannot please everybody. There are so many opinions about so many things today, no one is going to always be pleased with you. People pray for things – some for one thing, some for another. Only a fool would try to do what even God can’t do. You can’t please everybody.

You don’t have to please everybody. So many people try to believe that in order to be happy you must be loved and gain approval by every one else. You know that deep in your heart you don’t have to, but somehow there is always that chance that it seeps back in.

Rejection will not ruin your life. It can be painful, you may even remember it and feel its imprint on you later. But it is not the end of things. In fact later it may look like the beginning of something else.

So I quit trying to please everybody years ago. It became obvious that no one can make me feel inferior unless I let them… It starts by beginning to understand that it can be your choice.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, God, Grace, Happiness, Joy, moments, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, What Other People Think, Who Are You

14 Aug 2012

3 Comments

Finding a Purpose and the Lack of Self-Esteem

There seems to be a great lack of self-esteem these days. Sitting around with some good wine and great friends, we all agreed that these days seem like more people are challenged with a lack of purpose. Maybe spurred on by a lack of self-esteem. I read a statistic (for what it is worth on the Internet) that an estimated that 50% of the working population in the US are in the wrong jobs. But because of the lack of confidence and self-esteem that stay where they are.

In a previous post I had talked about becoming a victim and the levels of accountability. It is easy to find ways to blame others for our plight, instead of lack of confidence in ourselves. It can lead to spending a lot of time and energy building the reasons for blaming others. It can mean time wasted that could be used instead to finding time to build the confidence in the fact that we are THE unique person in the plan. After all it begins with self-esteem and celebrating our unique-ness (is that a word?).

Perhaps some of our esteem is missing because we are missing the spiritual center of our lives? Could it be that somewhere along the way we have under valued our special place in the universe, the individuality that makes us fit in the day-to-day interaction with our friends, co-workers, family, lovers?

Is being unique a bad thing? Today it seems like many want to believe it is – and when someone calls out their individuality they are persecuted for being prejudiced or “politically incorrect”. In the end we are all part of the human race, but we need to be ourselves (as they say, “everyone else is taken”).

We need a purpose, and God can be that purpose. With no purpose… on purpose, we end up looking for it in all the wrong places, and then end up alone wondering why it the things seem so unreachable. So distant. Lost for the vision of the future in our lives and after that.

So in my efforts. I also have to remember that I need to be constantly teaching my children those same things, and live it as I speak it. Or they will just go on with the risk of choosing the same cycle. Being part of the pattern of lack of esteem.

From pjgracecommunity: I need to discover my purpose!