Postive Thinking | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Postive Thinking”

02 Aug 2012

Starting Is Essential to Winning

As I watch the Olympics this week, and see how many young athletes are working so hard to win, I cannot think about how hard they worked in the process of preparing to win. They had a goal, and they were focused on working for it.

All around me I see people who seem to be waiting. They are wishing to win, waiting for it to arrive . LIke it is luck that is going to knock at their door and come in and say “hi, I am here”…. like it will arrive at your doorstep like a guest long over due.

But that is not how most of the successful people have gotten where they are. Yes they are expecting to win…but through their lives they have been investing in the success. They aren’t shy. They have been willing to compete. Which means they have been equally willing to lose and personally own the loss. They do not blame others for the position they are in, they accept the consequences and make course adjustments to assure that the next time makes a difference.

I have had friends that are always expecting to win… but some of then act like they are looking for divine justice, like there is someone waiting there who is going to hand it to them because ultimately they think they deserve it.

In the end, the true winners seem to know how to be celebrating the win. They are not wallowing in it. They are soaking-in the win and moving on to more, they are not staying in place and seeking constant approval and adoration. They are finding the next step on the path to winning.

Sure, winning isn’t everything – but it isn’t a bad place to be. Feels good.

You have to admire the people who make it all the way to the Olympics. For the most part, who ever makes it deserves it, They worked hard and stayed focused, they earned it. How hard was it to earn the privilege to compete in the Olympics. In some way they have fought to be there. Much like in professional sports, so very few make it to the pinnacle of the sport to be called out to represent the excellence that the sport of choice represents.

So for most of us, individually we win in life when we reach a goal and find ourselves in a position to win. We look for confirmation, and we acknowledge that we are made with the desire to win and succeed. Some times it is our own personal success, and others may not even know we made it so.

In the end you can’t win if you don’t play. I always used to say, “if you want to win the lottery you have to play, if you want to win the race you have to line up for the start.”

How many of us end up wishing we could win, wishing we could succeed in something but really don’t choose to even start to play? Dont wait. Start now. The race is long and success is in your grasp. You have to start to begin.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Celebrating success, choices, course adjustments, Definitions, Emotion, Fear, Olympic Games, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, true winners, winning

31 Jul 2012

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Control of Your State Of Mind

Who has control of your state of mind? Doesn’t it really come down to you?

If we have anything to learn in our lives around how we live it, one that thing that truly seems to escape some people is “how one looks at their life and all that surrounds it.” There seems to be so many sad or angry people who are stuck in one place- looking through a single vision. Some people walk through life sharing their state of mind with anyone who crosses their path. “Would you like to get angry with me?” they seem to say. Or “I am sad- can I share my sadness with you-” wishing that perhaps you can be sad too. In fact if you share their mood they may even start to feel better about themselves.

But then don’t we all have control over our own view of the world around us? It is OUR view after all. Sure. We can choose to be the victim of the circumstances that have brought us to this particular point in time. We can ignore the opportunity to make things better, expelling the chance to change things perhaps because of the uncomfortable feeling that can come with change. Even in our deepest state of “blues” we relish the feeling, even as we lament about escaping it. No doubt it is great to experience to help put things in perspective.

Others may go searching for the more positive path ahead. But that can take time. I have met friends and family who say that “life is a journey” but they choose to travel that journey with little direction. They wander along “looking for themselves” – Change for change sake…can result chasing after something they may never find. “Finding themselves” can create a reason to not go forward, rather than working harder to “create yourself”. Searching can mean waiting for someone else to define who you are, it can create boundaries.

So what do I tell my kids? Regardless of today, the next direction is based on your a state-of-mind I think. It starts there. Don’t let the anger and sadness consume you, don’t let it send you to places that can smother the reasons to change. Your state of mind is yours to choose. Okay, so we all need to have the downs to better appreciate the up’s; but we cannot wallow in it. Take some time to have the blues/ but then take the time to change your direction and create that journey with a positive direction. Choose to deal with it and move forward.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Anger, choices, Emotion, Happiness, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, relationships, Sadness, Self-Awareness, Self-Help, Sprituality

24 Jul 2012

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Faith In Trust and Hope

Trust. There’s something so mystical about TRUST. Who you should trust, why should you trust them, and how do you continue to trust someone. There is a very fine line between love and hate, there is another one between trust and the lack of it.

I have noticed that for some people it is very easy for them to take that step over the line and start trusting. They have the ultimate faith in the world and humankind that most people have a purpose that is ultimately good for all. Everyone starts out trustworthy and then it is up to them to break that trust, it is a fragile thing indeed but it starts with the “glass half full” I suppose. Maybe even more than half perhaps. That kind of openness comes with a lot of risk for hurt and wounds that don’t heal very well in the emotional sense. It requires a lot of resilience and may mean some added hard work to maintain the proper frame of mind. But happiness is just in the next step just as much as the hurt, and we have to have faith.

There are others that seem to trust no one. It can be so drastic that is sad. Sort of like functional paranoia that everyone is out to get you and that anyone who wants to have a relationship of trust better damn well start earning it. It goes…those who want trust need to explain themselves, then show that they are what they say they are. It is a safer place for these people with lack of trust. After all, trust no one- then there is no chance of getting the injury from trusting someone and then having them let you down or even belay that trust with denial or worse. But that safe place comes with a price. The price can be loneliness, isolation, lack of connection with anyone on anything other than a surface level.

Sadly the world today seems to perpetuate the lack of trust. There are so many examples that get laid out in the news, politics, social networks, and even religion. People who cross that fine line of trust to become human monsters, trusted people who have taken a path of destruction and evil that make us want to run the other way. Stay locked away.

Make sure you have an understanding that even with all the evil and hate in the world, in all the immediate places that surround our lives each day there is hope. Hope is a partner with trust that allows us to make it through each day. We want to be at peace with ourselves, we need to be at peace with the trust in what we know to be right. Trust in the Lord. Don’t run away. Be mindful that there is a purpose to all things under heaven. You are part of it.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Emotion, emotional sense, Faith, God, Grace, Happiness, Hope, Love, Postive Thinking, Sprituality, Trust

23 Jul 2012

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The Foundation of Lies

It is said that “A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

Whether Mark Twain said it or some preacher in a sermon long,long ago… it seems to be more true that ever before. Today’s world-wide web can help make even the ugliest lies seem like truth. People read them and then pass them on to tens of thousands of others because they want to believe in their version of the truth, however unreal it may be. If it fits the perception of what someone thinks it should be, then it goes on and out to more. If something t was said by someone you believe also thinks like you, “it must be the truth“. Right?

So we maybe people are building “their” reality on lies. For others they could be building their friendships on half-truths or fabrications, which sadly pass on things like hate and prejudice. Very often I have seen relationships between couples of many years that have gone into a spin because of simple things that have blossomed into lies and flared up into full-fledged fires. All because of one person’s version of the truth that gets created to fulfill personal need.

Lies can hurt, lies can also motivate others to do things that are right or wrong. Sometimes lies are justified, maybe bolster our own confidence to do things that are seemed to protect others from hurt. But we cannot let them control our sense of right and wrong. We need to make sure that we understand that our truths are what needs to guide us in our love and our life. We have to clear the way to not listen for what we think we need to hear, but we listen to our hearts and heads without the noise. Be mindful that we can be motivated to even lie to ourselves. And those lies can perpetuate in the worse way to effect our future.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Change, hearts and heads, Lies, life is precious, Love, Postive Thinking, relationships, Truth

10 Jul 2012

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What Will Other People Think?

Growing up, I remember my adolescent days of wanting to be part of the “in group” – the group that was leading the trends, the people who were at the front of the room in school and popular. I thought if I pleased everyone, I too could be accepted into the popular groups. At that time it seemed like I was always preoccupied with the idea of what other people were thinking.

One of the things I have noticed lately is that even as we all grow up, what others think appears to be many adults preoccupation. So many of the professional people around me seem to want acceptance of others beyond all else. Even in my family there have been struggles over the years on being “people pleasing”. It causes them to twist and turn their lives into places that aren’t really who they genuinely are.

When you constantly worry about what other people think, you can easily get caught in an emotional trap. In reality, you don’t have to please everybody any more than your ability to please everybody allows. It’s that false sense of panic to think that in order to be happy, you must be loved and validated by everyone you meet. Inside you know it’s just not how it works, but you do it anyway.

If you feel controlled or manipulated, its likely that you’re allowing yourself to be controlled or manipulated. It’s good to stand up for what’s right, but no one can pressure you unless you allow them to. Perhaps you don’t see it, or you ignore it, but it can happen easily. Inside your head you want acceptance, and you may be willing to color things to feel like you are not being controlled, but it can happen anyway.

It’s OK to be strong and center yourself on who you really are. How often do we fool ourselves to think it is more spiritual centered to just be quiet and put up with it all. But God doesn’t expect you to be run over by everyone you meet, you are made to be strong and be yourself.

How often are there missed opportunities in our lives that we let pass by? Do we find ourselves burying our talents, our sensibility and throwing them aside in order to please others, to be accepted. Then ironically, we get angry at our circumstances and allow even more control to be sacrificed to others for the sake of being accepted. We wonder how we got where we are.

In the end, it’s good to be ourselves, let the “people pleasing” efforts come out as a result of being ourselves. Don’t let it rule your life. We can allow our spiritual life to guide us to the relationships that are around us, and we will be accepted. Centering yourself on being who you are and not what others want you to be. You will find your goals will change and what you want out of life will be refreshing and personal. You know what other people will think?… won’t you?