choices | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “choices”

12 Jun 2014

Take The Weight Off

No, it is not a diet edict. This weight is the weight we all carry, regardless of our physical appearance. It is the weight that becomes a burden that we come to be dependent upon. It is that heaviness that we don’t want, but no change in diet or physical exercise is going to remove it.

It is the weight of information. and we are all subject to that these days. One time stored in encyclopedias, reported in newspapers and magazines and complied in text books – the information for those of us who have access to the Internet seems nearly infinite. Mistaking that for knowledge is another thing. The nearly infinite source does not have a definitive declaration of the truth, but only the versions of the truth we come to find there.

I love the Tom Waits picture below. It is pretty profound. It is the weight of the things in our lives. Here in America we collect things to make us more important. From what I can tell is that way in many other places around the world too. The more we have (information, possessions, money,friends, etc) the more we think we will be happy. Abundance can sometimes seem to translate to safer life, or a better life. But hopefully that is understood. It is not going to ever be enough. And as the adage says “you can’t take it with you”.

Kids, my advice is to understand where you are, and know how you should see it? There is more.

DO you have the weight of the world carting around on your soul? Of have you found that there is much more than that?

Love this quality video from The Band. The Weight.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, Burdens of Life, Change, choices, Faith, Hope, information, Information Age, mental-health, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, The Band, Tom Waits, Too Much Information, What is imporant

09 Jun 2014

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Our 35 Years of Sharing

There is no way to put it into perspective completely. Today my wife and I celebrate 35 years of being married.

It has been a marriage filled with joy and sorrow, adventure and patience, love and anger, some victories and some regrets. The memories are precious, even as some of them are filled with cloudy remembrances, they are part of our love growing together.

We were married as our parents opined “very young” ( my wife was 19 and I was 23). We didn’t go in blindly to the marriage, but I think we were naive about what the journey ahead would be. But headfirst we jumped into life with the promise of a bright future.

Thirty-five years later we have relocated multiple times across the US ( mainly because of job related reasons), we have 4 great children that have supplied ( and continue to supply) a house full of love and family dramas. But over all we have been blessed. Not by wealth, not by possessions, not by health or constant good fortune, but by each other. It has not been perfect.

I want to quote a wise spiritual leader, pastor, author I have had the honor to know, Steve Lucas, who also recently posted some sentiments about his marriage on his site (Yesterday Lucas): These really captured my heart as things that I feel are so true. “Marriage is not about perfection. It’s about two people, stumbling through life together, growing in their relationship with each other and with God. Forgiveness, patience, a bad memory, and extra love are all ingredients that are required to make it in marriage.”

And I agree with that 100%. As he explains also that there are a handful of days that could be good to have called a “do over”. I can think of several in recent memory ( some further back are a bit cloudy, but the remnants are still there ). But as he says, do-over’s would likely be at the expense of the wisdom gained through mistakes. Again I couldn’t agree more. “ Thankfully, in every failure there has been forgiveness; in every trial, we shared them together.”

“I don’t deserve my wife. But then again, neither do I deserve the Grace of God. But I’ll happily accept both.”

I am blessed with the happiness of what is truly the good fortune in my life, to know true love.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Faith, Fmaily, Forgiveness, God's love, Grace, Imperfection, Marriage, Memories, moments, Postive Thinking, relationships, True Love, Wedding Anniversaries

07 Jun 2014

If It Makes You Happy

“If it makes you happy, then why are you so sad?” Great words from a great song that my family loved. It is just an easy question that can sometimes have the most difficult answer.

But really what is it that makes you happy? Is it goodness, something that you can cherish and embrace and love because you are you?

Then why the hell are you so sad (as the song goes)? Life is so very short and then it is over and we can look forward to the eternity ahead. But in the mean time we all need to get more inspired. There is so little time, and while we are here on Earth we have to make our tracks.

We have to embrace those things that are positive, make the best of them and be sure we are “right” with our world first. Before we are right with the rest of the world and all it offers, before we try to search for the meaning of life for others, we need to understand our meaning.

It is “purpose”- and those that defer purpose, or decline it all together are missing so much. I mean do they look at it like “first you live, then you die and make the most of everything in-between”? Or do you look at it as the more you embrace the purpose of life, the more happy you will be?

“If it makes you happy” doesn’t mean to do whatever you want and damn the circumstances. It means what really makes you happy when you understand the purpose of what you are doing here. Understand your part in the process of life, and it is a grand scheme… but a good one.

So advice to my kids: make sure you enjoy it, but be sure you understand your purpose. And look for it- when it arrives be sure to embrace it- and you will be happy.

Here ya go kids. What we used to sing in the car as loud as we could. If it Makes You Happy!

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Change, choices, Finding Your Way Back, Happiness, Happy, Joy, life is precious, Looking for Happiness, moments, Postive Thinking, Sadness, Sheryl Crow

05 Jun 2014

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A Secret Message That Should be Told

Wise words. Don’t usually copy something here, but this was a great article (from People Magazine). Sharing it.

On May 28, 13-year-old British schoolgirl Athena Orchard tragically lost her battle with the bone cancer osteosarcoma, which had affected her spine, left shoulder and head.

Yet her devastated family has received a small degree of solace from what Athena secretly left behind: a 3,000-word note written on the back of her bedroom mirror, in black marker.

Her father, Dean, stumbled upon the secret message – and a box full of self-penned songs – at the family’s home in Leicester, England. It details the innermost feelings of a girl who had put up a courageous fight for her life.

The heartbreaking note reads: “Every day is special, so make the most of it, you could get a life-ending illness tomorrow so make the most of every day. Life is only bad if you make it bad.”

Dean, 33, said of the note: “She never mentioned it, but it’s the kind of thing she’d do. She was a very spiritual person, she’d go on about stuff that I could never understand – she was so clever.”

Athena left behind six sisters and three brothers. But her mother, Caroline, 37, said that the note Athena bequeathed the family will help ensure that her memory stays very much alive.

“We’re keeping the mirror forever, it is a part of her we can keep in the house, it will always be in her room,” she said. “Just reading her words felt like she was still here with us, she had such an incredible spirit.”

Read an expanded excerpt from Athena’s message, below:

“Happiness depends upon ourselves. Maybe it’s not about the happy ending, maybe it’s about the story.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Happiness is a direction not a destination. Thank you for existing. Be happy, be free, believe, forever young. You know my name, not my story.

You have heard what I’ve done, but not what I’ve been through. Love is like glass, looks so lovely but it’s easy to shatter.

Love is rare, life is strange, nothing lasts and people change. Every day is special, so make the most of it, you could get a life ending illness tomorrow so make the most of every day. Life is only bad if you make it bad.

If someone loves you, then they wouldn’t let you slip away no matter how hard the situation is. Remember that life is full of ups and downs.

Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about. I want to be that girl who makes the bad days better and the one that makes you say my life has changed since I met her!

Love is not about how much you say I love you – it’s about how much you can prove it’s true. Love is like the wind, you can feel it but you can’t see it. I’m waiting to fall in love with someone I can open my heart to.

Love is not about who you can see spending your future with, it’s about who you can’t see spending your life without… Life is a game for everyone but love is the prize. Only I can judge me.

Sometimes love hurts. Now I’m fighting myself. Baby I can feel your pain. Dreams are my reality. It hurts but it’s okay, I’m used to it.

Don’t be quick to judge me, you only see what I choose to show you… you don’t know the truth. I just want to have fun and be happy without being judged.

This is my life, not yours, don’t worry about what I do. People gonna hate you, rate you, break you, but how strong you stand, that’s what makes you… you!

There’s no need to cry because I know you’ll be by my side.”

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged being remembered, Cancer, choices, Compassion, Faith, Happiness, Life, mental-health, moments, Reality Check, Self-Awareness

31 May 2014

Out of Context

Is it just me or does it seem like everyone seems to want “action” on things when someone says something that doesn’t agree with the common thinking.

Who has decided what is the “common thinking” anyway? Is it who has taken the latest opinion polls ? or is it the loudest voice in the crowd? I always get apprehensive when a public figure ( politician, celebrity, or whatever) uses the term “we” … like they are representing majority of people whom that have all conferred with and clearly understand.

I guess now a days that’s easy to do. Everyone with a computer or a smartphone has the pulpit of the Internet in which to say stuff. Is it stupid or ignorant? Is it misquoted or out of context? How many times does it get repeated by another someone on the Internet that feels the same way. Before you know it those hundreds of people seems to represent thousands. And the ball of bad taste just seems to propagate from the center of it. .

They can say remarks in context, out of context, with a total different intention that delivered. But if enough people like it, they will quote it as fact and then color it with their own intention. In fact measuring someone’s “intention” rarely seems to be considered at all- just immediate lambasting or flag waving ( depending on the reasons for doing it).

Advice to my kids: Intention doesn’t matter I guess. It is all subject to criticism. And a few viral minutes later we can all agree that something has been pointed out as thoughtless, or heroic, or shameful or patriotic A mere shadow of the real reasons of the real people who lived it.

Lately I have become much more aware I guess. Maybe that is something that I will promise myself. Don’t jump to the conclusions that others have provided, they could be wrong.