Kindness

Archive for the tag “Kindness”

03 Dec 2012

“Happy” Holidays

Every time about this time of year I kind of think about what’s left for the year before it’s over.

There is so much to be thankful for, and so much to reflect on. There are 2 holidays here in the US before it is all done, and it is such a great time to catch up with friends and family and celebrate life together. A time to be “happy”

No matter what you think you did this year, you can always do more. But no matter what you have you can always be thankful – Be thankful for the opportunity to be here on this Earth, reading things on the Internet, with food and water and sharing your love with your family, friends.

This time of year also means people have high expectations of what the holiday’s should bring. The idea Thanksgiving ( in the US can be a house full of food, family and football) and the picture perfect Merry Christmas. Often that ends up putting people in the most depressed sorts- when the simplest reasons to be HAPPY are just those things that “are” simple… Sometimes alone feeling abandoned, sometimes without much or anything to eat. It takes time to remember what happiness really is. It’s not about “things” or possessions, it is about something much simpler than that. It’s about being recognized for being a human-being on this Earth who, just like everyone else, is trying to make the best of the world as it has been dealt.

So as we are spending time looking for things to be thankful for… as we wander by and wish people a “happy” holiday season. Looks like we should be aware that for some it may be hard to see it, hard to feel it, or know where happiness is. They need to know your wish is sincere, you need to know you mean it.

Happy Holiday all!

Posted in Before and After Things Change and tagged being remembered, Christmas, Definitions, Happiness, Joy, Kindness, life is precious, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Thanksgiving

28 Jun 2012

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Choosing Reconciliation

There are times in your life when there will be conflict, with your family, lover or friends. There will just be things you will never agree on, because that is the way all humans are designed. It is good to be different. So what then? Perhaps you can focus on reconciliation rather than resolution. I have noticed over the years with many of my friends that couldn’t find a way to grasp this in their relationships, that they lost too much in the process. They expended so much energy in their lives that they would never recover.

Reconciliation drives toward re-establishing relationships. Resolution on the other hand, targets the thought that you have to resolve every issue by coming to a conclusive agreement on everything. I think deep inside most of us know that it can’t happen that way. Whether you both love each other, are the “best of friends” or are highly spiritually centered, whether you have made a promise to never disagree or are determined to “be yourself” at all costs; there are going to be some things you’ll never agree on.

But you can disagree without becoming disagreeable — that’s what God calls wisdom. “It’s wise to compromise. You can have unity without uniformity. You can walk hand-in-hand without seeing eye-to-eye. You can have reconciliation without resolution of every issue.”

It continues to be such a trend today to focus on “being yourself” by being declared unique, and while that itself is important, we seem to take that to an extreme. We risk declaring ourselves so special, so privileged in our sovereign definition of “me” that we forget the fundamental things that brought us together in as friends, or as a “couple” or as what the core of our family. Many of the people around me seem to sacrifice their relationships in order to stand upon their “individualism” and then later wonder why they are alone, why they are forever struggling with the interaction of the world around them.

So we have to appreciate the differences, but then focus on the relationship. I have noticed that often looking back the issues that were creating the rifts in my relationships, they have become insignificant in the scheme of things. In our world full of broken relationships, we would be so much better off if we could commit to striving toward reconciliation.

Making the effort is more than half the battle, winning is not the ultimate reward here. (Sorry for all you self achievers on that point). People often still ask me how I can be married for as long as I have. The words love and honor in the traditional wedding vows are followed by obey, but the thing to obey is our focus on the relationship, the reconciliation and the rewards of what that brings to love. That is one of the things my wife and I are working on every day, and I hope that everyone can keep doing what we can to “make it work”.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Advice, choices, Compassion, Conflict resolution, Kindness, moments, Reconciliation, relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Help

23 May 2012

Another one of my life’s songs along with my previous post “Compassion” is this one from my favorite artist Todd Rundgren. It is called “Kindness”. It is an attitude and characteristic that seems so lost these days in some circles. There are people who show you kindness, and you have to remember what that feels like and share it back.

So much more anger and frustration these days leads to violence and uncaring attitudes. We all need to take the lessons of kindness and pass them on.

I don’t mean to keep posting music (let alone my fave artist) – but it hit me again how fortunate it is to give and receive kindness in our lives, and how often it may be missing on our mission here on Earth.

Kindness by Todd Rundgren

The one that showed me kindness
Was the one that taught me kindness
Though I did not recognize it
Still I might have died without it
And when I awakened
It was too late to thank her
If I live someday I’ll make repayment
And show someone the kindness she showed me

When my voice grows strident
When I feel important
I’m reminded of that kindness
And where I’d be without it
I’m learning my lessons
It may take me a lifetime
Give me strength to justify my being
And show someone the kindness shown to me

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life, Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, Compassion, Definitions, Grace, Kindness, Music, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, Todd Rundgren

12 Apr 2012

5 Comments

No Day But Today

There are times when I ask myself “How did I get here?” I don’t mean I have been unconscious and I woke up out of a daze or something. I know I have been moving along day to day, living the life I have lived and counting the days on the calendar.

But when I stop to think about it I realize that there were many, many days that I had wished would come to an end as quickly as it could… You know, those days when it all comes down on you and you think it can’t get worse? At the end, you sigh the sigh of relief, hopefully lying in bed and wondering if you close your eyes will it go away (there are some I remember did not finish in my bed, but were in some very odd places I shudder to remember).

Still when the day is finished, look for the next day to improve. Of course there are always those days that start out looking like they are going to be “one of those days”. You know them…Issues at work, family conflicts, tests of patience or memory or physical stamina. Even in my younger days I knew that they would be around from time to time. But I hoped that they would be far between, and would be interspersed with some really brilliant and wonderful days. And of course they would be.

They stand out in life, those days that are the “best days of your life”. Things that happen in it seem to feel like miracles. Birth of children or like reaching a milestone: finishing school or achieving and being recognized for the challenge. These can be those times when you reflect back on your “firsts” and realize that it there will only be seconds and thereafter and capture those precious days forever in your memories. You find that you relive them again with your friends and family in remembrance. Many times you may not even have a physical picture of it, but the pictures remain clear in your head.

But between the days of “need to be over” and “wish it would never end” are mainly the abundance of days we live. And even then, they may be focused on the coming weekend or looking forward to special events or anniversaries with special people.

My advice to my children. Don’t wish them over, don’t take the day for granted or keep hoping for a better day some other day. Cherish the day you have. Thank God for it. Stop and take it in. Put the ingredients in it to make it be a day you can appreciate. Apply kindness, patience, grace, compassion, love. You won’t get another day that is identical; each day will be unique an non-repeatable. And you don’t have any guarantees that the next day will come with you in it at all. So please don’t wish them away.