Tracks In The Dust

A Father's Advice About Learning the Mission of Life

Archive for the tag “Sprituality”

15 Aug 2013

Conditions and Compromise

It’s interesting how often these days interaction with someone can always come to “certain conditions”. Doing favors or helping someone with something can end up as a negotiation of sorts. Sort of the payback for things that are done.

The idea of “unconditional” love and friendship is still alive I think, It is definitely a spiritual center we all need to achieve. It makes our lives less complicated in a way. It is the grace of God. Yet it seems like there are days where things only happen under certain terms.

There are a lot of conditions in life. Sort of like: “I can help you with your problem, but IF I do you need to help me with mine.” Negotiation isn’t always bad, but it will struggle to lead to longer term relationships

Conditional love is the hardest one to cope with. Like trying to earn someone’s love and attention, it comes with a price. It has a manipulating qualifier to it. I will love you, if only you would be more attentive to my needs. I will love you if only you make enough time for me to do what I want to do.

It goes on and on : I will love you if you a) lose weight b) gain status, c) dress a certain way, d) be friends with the people I am friends with, e) NOT be friends with the people you are friends with. f) like the colour “blue” – or hundreds upon hundreds of other conditions.

There is something about compromise in a relationship (which is healthy) that can spill over into conditions. When it does there may not be an immediate way to recognize it. But it exists. And over time it can lead to resentment, to disillusion that ends in someone being very hurt.

So I always give my kids that advice, Be sure to “be yourself” and be aware of the difference between compromises in a relationship and conditions.

Practice Unconditional Love (alexiaisaak.com)

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, Advice, Conditional, Doubt, God, Grace, Perception, Philosophy, relationship, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, Unconditional Love

21 Jun 2013

Searching for An Answer

Keep searching.

It seems like everyone gives up or says “I am done” at some point in their life… but it is important that you take that in stride. The old song that goes: “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again” doesn’t always feel like a welcome one.

But whether it is a search for a mate, a new job, a solution to a problem or profoundly the meaning of life, there has to be a point to it. Never giving up is so cliché. Still I think that is the basis of being human, having hope – even if despair is all around you.

But you have to look for it. I have posted before about people in my life that I have noticed who will wait for things to come to them. Sure it happens (some call it luck- others call it fate). God is good and He will provide, but you have to be looking for it. You cannot expect the things you need to search for to land in-front of you.

Ironically those few times that they do, if you weren’t looking they may just pass you by. You may not even recognize the opportunity (like my mom used to say) “even if it bit you in the nose.” Maybe that is because you weren’t looking, which gets right back to searching doesn’t it?

So I keep faith in the hope that the things we are willing to search for will come to us if we are open and receptive to them. (Like most everyone else, I have been at the dark-end of things in my life). If we understand that in order to search for those things, we have to remove the excuses and reasons not to. We have to get out of the cycle of denial or despair (or whatever you want to call it), and make something of the life we have.

‘Cuz life is short, and you may know that adage: The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. That is, not a philosophy to support the idea to party till you drop, but to recognize what you need to do in life; make the best of it- understand that eternity can be had in the next life- and go searching. Don’t stop. Open your eyes…

A great song by a band I have enjoyed for decades.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Advice, Faith, Hope, Inspirational, Meaning of life, moments, Procrastination, Reality Check, Searching for meaning, Secret of Life, Self-Awareness, spirituality, Sprituality

18 Jun 2013

2 Comments

Be Thankful

So there are so many ways to say “thank you”. For some it may be a sincere hug. Are you a hugging person? Maybe not as personal for some, but perhaps a genuine handshake or some other physical way.

There are people who show their appreciation with special words of thanks, pointing out very directly how they feel. They may go out of their way to reach out and be sure someone knows what it means. There are others who send cards or notes, communication to make sure to be specific about what they felt and why they want to say thanks.

But there are some people I have met that seem to have lost the art of saying thank you. They may nod or say “thank you” and smile, but they believe that are just trying to be polite. They really expect things to come to them, to be provided to them because they deserve it. Perhaps they think “after all” they have struggled to get where they are, they may have even worked hard to be who they are. But really, it may not be sincere, it may be lost in the point of view.

My kids are adults now. And I hope that I have taught my kids what it means to be thankful. What it means when someone else does something for them. What it means to do things for others as well. Is it an art? Is there a science to it? Not sure that there is, it is just something that has to be recognized. It is a way of life that allows you to recall and remember what others lives are like around you. It’s not a sign of weakness, it is not a sign of submission. It is the proof that you are in the place you need to be in humankind.

You can be the ingredient of the essence that is grace in action.

So simple and so complex at the same time. Thank you.

Posted in Doing Things That Will Change Your Life and tagged Acceptance, choices, Compassion, culture, Grace, Kindness, Love, Opinion, Self-Awareness, Sprituality, Thankful

10 Jun 2013

All Things Must Pass

More frequently these days I recall how precious life is. It is very fragile. We have our chance to look at life from many ways. But in the end it all will pass. That’s why I share this song from the late George Harrison. It has always been one of those songs that captures the spirituality of the passing of time.

Sunrise doesn’t last all morning
A cloudburst doesn’t last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
Its not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn’t last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
Its not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of lifes strings can last
So, I must be on my way
And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
Its not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
All things must pass away

A VIDEO FROM VH1 – George Harrison’s last live performance before his death.

Posted in Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged Acceptance, All Things Must Pass, being remembered, Cancer, choices, George Harrison, Grace, Joy, Life, life is precious, Music, Rock music, Sprituality, tracks in the dust

03 Jun 2013

2 Comments

Changing Lives One Day At A Time

Time seems to stand still once in a while. There is nothing special happening, nothing monumental. Yet all around you are people who are experiencing quite the opposite. They may be having a life event, a special moment perhaps. They may have run into the depths of failure, or the heights of success.

But there you are. Living in one of those nondescript days where at the end of it, you have to ask yourself how it got so late at night and it is “time for bed”. It seems like a throw-away day. Just moving through the day like the sun overhead. Moving from east to west and finally being done warming the day.

Sometimes it makes me feel sad. It’s a day you can never get back, no chance to have a “re-do”. Could there have been opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, to strike a conversation, help someone you may not even have known by offering an act of kindness? Could you have spent a moment to call a friend, make someone laugh or just tell someone you haven’t seen in a while that you were thinking of them?

All of those things seem so simple and somewhat insignificant I guess. But they are not, are they? They are reasons for the chance to live the day. To provide forgiveness, to show kindness, to create a new timeline of events for someone else perhaps, a possible very small thing for you- that sends someone off in an entirely new direction in their lives.

Then you can still say it “seemed like an uneventful day”. But not… it seems for everyone. I will work to make that day happen. How about you?