Acceptance | Tracks In The Dust

Archive for the tag “Acceptance”

25 Dec 2013

Good Parent/Bad Parent

Easy to read all of the comments these days about how parents are treating their kids.

The Internet and media are full of news about parents who have done “bad” things to their kids. Some of them life threatening, some of them much more subtle but damaging. As a parent the obvious conclusion is to compare and be sure that you are not one of those parents who damaged their kids futures from some sort of neglect. Who put them through hell during their childhood so that they would never be good kids or worse yet good adults when they grew up?

Always seems like someone has the best idea: ” Spare the rod spoil the child.” “Teach the kids to be independent.” “Tell them how it really is.” “Make sure they understand that everything has consequences.” Or maybe for some they teach them ” there is always a way to get out of something.”

With so many influences outside a parents control- getting that fundamental core values have to be taught earlier and earlier. There is no shelter from the influences that are available today for kids in every age level.

So what are my wife and I ? Good parents? Bad ones?

I know I have my days where I guess I am pretty good. My kids have their own problems… did I dump them on them or did they collect their situations and predicaments all by them selves?

There are regrets as a parent, but overall you have to make the best of it. Some parents have much more success, while others seem to be constantly frustrated by their children- and cannot see why they had anything to do with it.

So I am guessing that is the fate of parents in general. They didn’t come with an owners manual when they arrived. Other than medical or convictions as reasons that they may not come to be; there are very few rules stopping someone from having one, even if they have very little experience or life lessons to reflect upon. Yup, no license to be a parent, no manuals, no permissions to be obtained. We parents have a lot of responsibility, but that is seldom accounted for as much until the day they are born… handed to you and you become a “parent” …. then the debate begins.

I love my kids (all 4 of them) and hope that they don’t blame us too much for the way they turned out. When they are doing good, we think that we did pretty good raising them; they think they did it all themselves. When they are doing poorly, we think it must have been some other reason than us; they think that it’s all their parents fault.

Either way – most of us do the best we can it seems.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, being a parent, being remembered, Children, Doubt, Family, Grace, Happiness, Memories, Opinion, Postive Thinking, Raising Children, Reality Check, relationships

13 Dec 2013

2 Comments

Grow Old Along with Me

Recently my wife and I were both noticing a whole lot more pills in the medicine chest.

Our challenge is that we know we “need” them, but we are kind of in denial that they are something we need to take just because some things seem to be “wearing out” in our bodies.

That seems to be compounded by added surgery required to fix and remove things in an effort to live a longer life. Add to that new prescriptions for eyeglasses to improve eyesight, and the frequent rubbing of aches and pains that seem to be showing up more these days.

Modern medicine is truly focused on those of us getting older. For the young I say, “don’t take it for granted that health is something that needs no maintenance”. Over time it will be a challenge, if it isn’t age it may be something else. Like a recent post I re-blogged – you need to take care of yourself regardless of age.

Which brings me to one of the most important things about growing old for me. I get to spend it with the love of my life. Going on 35 years next year, I think we have come to realize how life is precious. We love our children (all 4 of them) and wish them all the best as they grow older too. I love my wife. And as we line up the pills, and polish our glasses for better vision, and visit our doctors more often it seems than ever… we can grow old together.

Here is a song that has really captured it for me. (Leave it to me to get back to music somehow 🙂

Written by John Lennon, this is Mary Chapin Carpenters version.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life, Life's Sound Track (Music) and tagged "growing old", Acceptance, cherish, Health, John Lennon, Memories, moments, Music, Self-Awareness, Songs About Changes, songs about growing old, Sprituality

21 Nov 2013

1 Comment

Pointing Blame

There are so many diverse things in our lives, lately I have been thinking about the extremes of blame.

Some people get caught up in the idea that it is “All My fault”. The person who seems to be a sponge, take on everything… like always thinking “must have been me” Most times they end up being a victim of life. Looking at others and wondering why they can’t get a break, life is unfair.

There is the other extreme of course. Seems like a bit more of this happens these days… “Not my fault”. People that will actually go out of their way to prove that they are not to blame. Don’t want to take it on ever. Always wanting to point the blame elsewhere, regardless if that is the truth or not.

It is really about accountability… and that is something more elusive these days. You have to own it when you can- but sometimes it is just not going to make a difference. But when you can recognize your mistakes, take them to heart and look for ways to change it – you will live a life that will be full of new things. It will be tough, but it has its benefits- you get to learn more, be better and take new directions you may never have imagined.

Be able to recognize where things stand and then move on, or decide what you want to do to change it- go ahead and make it happen.

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, Advice, Blame, choices, life is precious, My fault, Postive Thinking, Reality Check, Self-Awareness, Who Are You, Your fault

20 Nov 2013

2 Comments

What Is Your Message?

There are always things we learn in life that change us forever.

They can be subtle things that we don’t even notice when they happen or they can be things that mark a turning point in our lives that we know have made a difference.

Sometimes they are obvious, you know that the things you are doing in your life are full of impact to how you see it from that point forward. Other times they are only easy to see when you look backward and notice that “if it wasn’t for that person, place or thing in your life” you wouldn’t have been where you are today.

So someone asked me the other day: If you could leave a three word message for your former self, if you could go back in time and leave a morsel of advice to your self in the past – what would you tell yourself? What would that life changing message be? Would you even notice? Would you know what it meant?

What are the 3 words you would leave?

Posted in Learning Lessons Along the Journey Of Life and tagged Acceptance, being remembered, choices, moments, Past Experiences, Reality Check, Recalling the past, Religion and Spirituality, Self-Awareness, Your Former Self

15 Nov 2013

2 Comments

Wearing A Disguise

I think there is always something to be considered about how people see each other, but how we see ourselves may be even more of a challenge.

We can see the outer people in our lives. We see what people want us to see. But it could be that we are practicing what we are in the process. Perhaps we want to conjure up an image of what we think other people want us to be.

But in the end that it seems to be really hard to keep doing. We can take life as “what it is” – and be what we are without wearing a disguise. Our potential to be someone significant may be at risk, getting approval from all of those around us. But maybe we could have more time to just be something important to ourselves. What other people think is going to have to suffice to just “be”.

Maybe they won’t like us, or maybe they aren’t going to care. What a shock that would be, but then perhaps we should ask the question: do we like ourselves.

Be true to yourself – be sure you know who and what you are. Seems so darned easy, and yet often we can work hard to try to be what others think we should be. And then we convince ourselves that we are that person.

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